Wanting to make their anniversary special, one lesbian girlfriend took the initiative to ask her partner what she truly wanted. However, despite receiving a clear answer, she disregarded her partner's wishes and opted for a different, more "practical" gift, convinced that she knew better.
Gifting Goes Wrong
Gifting is a wonderful way to communicate feelings, but it can turn sour when the recipient receives something they don’t want, leaving them with the task of pretending to be happy and grateful.
This uncomfortable turn of events can be attributed to the well-intentioned yet misguided gift selection of a lesbian girlfriend, ultimately turning a special moment into a rather awkward experience.
Practical Anniversary Gift
A lesbian girlfriend shares on Reddit that she opted for an unconventional, not-so-romantic anniversary gift choice - a blender instead of the coveted necklace her partner had been longing for.
Even though a month had already passed, both her best friend and her partner's best friend are still giving the OP a hard time about it.
Romantic And Simple
On their one-year anniversary, the girlfriend asked her partner what she wanted as a gift, to which she responded with a simple request for something romantic, like “a little necklace or something cute.”
Skipping the Necklace
Looking for a cute gift for her girlfriend on Amazon, she stumbled upon an emulsion blender, and a lightbulb went off in her head.
She recalled how her partner has a passion for cooking and often talks about the various kitchen gadgets she wants to own.
Silky-Smooth Tomato Sauce
She also remembered that time when her partner was struggling to make silky-smooth homemade tomato sauce. While she was cooking, she mentioned how difficult it was to achieve a smooth consistency without using an emulsion blender.
Practical Gift Giver
As the girlfriend reflected on her partner's passion for cooking and the challenges she faced without an emulsion blender, she knew that this anniversary called for something more than just cuteness.
“I’m a very practical gift giver,” she states in her post. “I like to give things people will use so I bought it and was super excited to give it to her.”
Exchanging Gifts
On the anticipated day of their anniversary, the girlfriend surprised the OP with a fancy bottle of whiskey that she herself had longed for but had never been able to justify splurging on.
Overflowing with excitement, she eagerly asked her girlfriend to unwrap her own gift, secretly hoping that the emulsion blender would bring just as much happiness to her.
“An Emulsion Blender?”
As her girlfriend unwrapped the gift, her face lost its sparkle, asking, "Oh... an emulsion blender...?"
At that moment, she reminded her girlfriend of their conversations about the kitchen gadgets she was excited to add to her collection.
A Big Disappointment
While the girlfriend “kept her cool” and expressed her appreciation for the thought behind the gift, she told her that she was “a little upset that it wasn’t jewelry.”
Nothing Fancy
The upset girlfriend explained to her partner that anniversaries should be more about romantic and sentimental gifts instead of practical ones.
While she genuinely expressed her appreciation for the blender, she couldn't lie to her partner and admitted that she wished it had been the necklace she had previously pointed out online—a simple $30 mushroom necklace.
Get Back To the Kitchen
After pouring out her "woes" to her friend, he found it "hilarious" that she was so inept when it comes to romantic relationships. Furthermore, the girlfriend's best friend caught wind of the situation and has been teasing her with jokes about getting back to the kitchen.
Buying the Gift Herself
“My gf and I are fine but I know she was disappointed,” she shares, adding, “She ended up buying the necklace herself a week after I gave her the blender.”
The Gift vs Desire Debate
Confused by her girlfriend's reaction, the blender-purchasing partner turned to the Reddit community in search of answers to her question: “AITA for giving my gf a practical gift versus the necklace she wanted?”
Online Community Doesn’t Hold Back In Criticism
The girlfriend's perceived lack of romantic skills clearly did not sit well with the Reddit community, as the majority of Redditors labeled her as "YTA" for not gifting her girlfriend a cuter, more romantic gift.
One commenter sarcastically wrote, “So I get you're a lesbian but wow, this is like TV sitcom man action. You might as well have bought her a bowling ball with your name on it.”
Mansplaining?
In an attempt to explain the situation, one Redditor chimed in, “She basically mansplained to her GF why her GF’s gift preference wasn’t good enough.”
They argued, “This is why stupid, s.xist books like ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ exist, because of perceived communication issues based on gender. But it isn’t - apparently - gender. Just a stubbornness and a failure to accept the truth in what one’s partner has said.”
Disregarded Desires
Another person found it unacceptable that the girlfriend had asked what her partner wanted but then completely ignored her answer and purchased something different, earning her another “YTA.”
“I hate when people do that,” a different user chimed in, “Don’t waste my time asking what I want if you’re just going to get what you think I want. Tells me you don’t really care about my wants or what I have to say.”
The True Purpose of Gift-Giving
In response to the OP’s remark that she’s a practical gift giver, a “YTA” voter bluntly asked, “Who cares what you like?”
“The gift isn't for you. It's for the recipient. The person receiving the gift wants something they want, not something they need. Stop making yourself the main character of the story.”
Double Standards
“YTA,” agreed another user. “Everyone is going WAYYYY easy on you. I don’t see why a lesbian doing this to her wife is a lot better than men doing this to his wife.”
“She told you what she wanted. It was nothing extravagant. You got her something else, something that, coincidentally, benefits you.”
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