You have probably been a victim of light bullying when you were in middle school. Maybe a boy used to pull your ponytail or grab your backpack for attention. While this behavior is annoying to everyone of the same age, it is considered a foundation of infatuation.
Annoyance is one of the easiest feelings to invoke in someone. This is why, whenever we like a person, we tend to want their attention on us all the time. When it wavers, it makes us feel irritated and annoyed. So we lash out and get their attention by annoying them as well.
So when a guy annoys you outside of middle school, it means that aside from wanting your attention, it also points out his feelings, your feelings, as well as how comfortable you are with each other (but not that comfortable). Potentially, annoyance can even offer opportunities for improvement in a relationship.
He Likes You A Lot
Annoying someone takes a lot of energy. It is not an endeavor one takes lightly. So if a guy annoys you, this means that he has strong feelings for you. He wants more than your attention- he also wants to see your reactions. This is because he believes that however irritated and antagonistic you feel towards him, it is better than getting no reaction at all.
In addition, he also knows that you will eventually get used to his annoying habits. This means that if he suddenly stopped doing it, instead of relief, you will probably miss him instead. He thinks you will crane your neck, trying to catch a glimpse of him and his annoying face. This means that against your better judgment, you've grown quite fond of him.
He also holds out hope that eventually, you won't be annoyed by his antics anymore. He thinks that instead of getting irritated and scowling, you will be laughing at his jokes then.
You Like Him Too
It is pretty tricky to get a reaction from someone who honestly doesn't care. You probably have to light their shirt on fire to get them to pay attention enough to glance at you reprovingly before looking away. This means that if you are annoyed by your guy's antics, you do feel something for him.
People who exhibit attraction towards one another usually wind up fighting like cats and dogs. This is especially true if they try to ignore or deny their feelings. They will be so annoyed at one or another that they even get annoyed with one another's breathing and chewing sounds.
That said, the fact that you allow him to ruffle your feathers speaks a lot about your own feelings. If you genuinely didn't care, you probably won't show any reaction to any of his baiting and barbs. You likely won't even acknowledge his existence. Or perhaps you will answer with such a scathing put-down that will definitely hurt him and therefore make him stop annoying you.
Whatever you decide, it will show your real feelings. Getting annoyed and exhibiting outward reactions is what your guy needs. If you give it to him, it encourages him. If you take it away, it will make him stop. Now ask yourself, why does this guy annoy you so much?
You Are Comfortable With One Another
Successful relationships often come with not a small degree of comfort. In order to feel well and truly yourselves, you have to feel secure enough in your relationship that you know the other person won't mind when you fart in each other's presence. He'd be annoyed, sure, but you know he'll retaliate by farting louder to annoy you, too.
So when a guy annoys you, this means that he is comfortable enough in your presence to want to irritate you on purpose. He indeed likes you enough to want to spend time entertaining himself with your annoyed expressions. Otherwise, he wouldn't even bother trying to get your attention.
If he can get a reaction out of you at every attempt, this means you probably like him, too. If you didn't, it's easy enough to ignore his behavior and write it off as something stupid. Being able to annoy one another is a sign of mutual feelings, which, once realized, will become the foundation of a strong relationship.
A Good Foundation For A Relationship
Being able to annoy one another can be considered a rare but strong foundation for a long-lasting relationship. This is because when you decide to take a chance on another despite your tendency to rub each other the wrong way, you are willing to try and make it work despite the odds.
It's also helpful that you already know each other's annoying habits and behavior. It can be an excellent start for improvement. Since you already know each other's lines and limitations, you know which parts to work on improving. In addition, this makes you guys a veritable expert on one another buttons. It's as good a common ground as any.
Finally, having annoyed each other for a long time means that you are already comfortable enough with one another. This means that you won't have to go through the first stage in a relationship that involves tiptoeing around one another. You won't have to hold in that sneeze, burp, yawn, or fart. You won't even need to apologize for waking up late on the weekends.
Of course, this doesn't mean that you will carry on with your single routine. Since you are now one-half of a partnership, it is still important to try your best to make the relationship work. If that means you need to compromise, you should. If that means you must refrain from eating Doritos and Ben&Jerry's for dinner, then you shouldn't. If he asks you to prepare breakfast every other day (so that you guys can take turns), you must turn away from your bad habit of waking up late.
After all, a good foundation doesn't guarantee a successful relationship. It needs time, hard work, and compromise.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.