Thanksgiving, like any other major gathering holiday, is often a source of both stress and joy for families all around.
However, one woman recently went to the Am I The A...hole (AITA) subreddit to express her concerns about her ‘weird’ Thanksgiving celebration after she uninvited her pregnant sister-in-law.
Sister-In-Law Is Pregnant With Her First Child
According to the Reddit post, the woman explains that she and her family have a set of traditions they participate in every year. Some of the things include a couple of drinks in the evening, games, and watching the parade together.
The woman explains that the Thanksgiving gathering usually includes her siblings, her siblings’ partners, her sister’s kids, and their parents. She also mentions that her brother and his wife are having their first child together, who is due in Spring.
Some Of The Demands Included No Turkey, Alcohol, Or Games
However, a couple of weeks before the holiday, the woman mentions that she gets a ‘list of demands’ from the sister-in-law through the family’s group chat. The sister-in-law stated that certain things needed to be adjusted to accommodate her pregnancy.
Some of the things on the list included no poultry because the smell of it makes her sick, no alcohol because she cannot participate, and the smell also makes her sick, and no games as she tires very easily and will need to rest.
Asking the Original Poster (OP) if she could just have an evening of talking and listening to music to replace the games.
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Brother Tells The OP She’s The One Being Unreasonable
The OP was having none of it. She initially tried to find a middle ground by explaining to her sister-in-law that while she will not waste a turkey she had already bought, she is willing to make a non-poultry dish alternative. She also explains to her that she will make sure no one drinks at the table but are at least free to drink elsewhere in the house if they please.
She also told her that she would not ban the games as this is the first year her niece and nephew are able to participate.
The OP’s brother and sister-in-law responded in the group chat, telling the OP she was “being unreasonable.”
Even the OP’s mother chimes in to say that it’s not that hard to accommodate.
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OP Uninvited The Sister-In-Law, and Her Brother Says She’s Excluding Her
At this point, the OP was upset and frustrated, and she told her sister-in-law that she would be uninvited if she couldn’t accept these conditions.
Of course, her brother is upset by this and calls his sister to tell her she is excluding his wife, to which the OP responds by saying that his wife is not being excluded and that she is welcome to join the gathering if she can accept “that thanksgiving has to work for everyone else too.”
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In the end, her brother and SIL don’t show up
She expressed that it was a weird day without them...
Luckily, most users agreed that she was NTA (Not The A...hole) in this situation, with one user writing:
“...I get the sensitivity to smells, but you can’t honestly think someone should change all their traditions for you just because you got pregnant. She doesn’t have to take part in playing the games. She can sit and watch or go lay down while everyone else plays. She’s really just asking for too much here.”
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I'm with you! If she has to plan the party, then have it her house! It's pretty nervy for her to dictate the rules for your part!! I would probably tell her not to come around anymore. But that's just me.
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Some women think they are the only one to ever be pregnant and everyone should bow down to them.
I bet you that she tries to be a bit of a diva even when not pregnant. As far as I'm concerned the SIL is the A__Hole and wait til she's ready to have the baby, she will be even more demanding.
everyone should allow the pregnant one to need her demands - sorry she should stay home and eat her own food have water and take a nap - how dare her to ask all others to do what she demands - she must be the only one pregnant - feel sorry for her husband and the baby on the way - whe is a real B*tch
It is rude to ask the hostess to change a holiday tradition. Why take away the enjoyable festivities everyone looks forward to. The PGSIL should realize that she has to deal with her restrictions. Maybe she and her husband should bow out from this event because of her temporary health issues. By Christmas everything will hopefully be back to whatever the family can call 'normal." I bet she has started a list of everything she wants the family to buy her and the baby for Christmas. Honestly, I understand the quirks of pregnancy but I would be rude to ask everyone to change that day's plans just for me. She should just stay come..wear something comfy, put her feet up, watch TV and eat a pint of ice cream and a dozen brownies...and take a nap!
Oh wow! PGSIL demanded no poultry on Thanksgiving? Gahhh She sounds like a real pain-in-the-butt. She is the "AH." LOL When my DIL was a new mom, she was/is very demanding. It was 4th of July and many neighbors were exploding fireworks and DIL wanted me to go ask the neighbors to stop doing that. DIL also wanted me to remove my dog's ID tags because the "jingle" annoyed her. DIL needs to have a down comforter on "my guest room bed" because she doesn't like my blankets. Instead of bringing herself a down-comforter, she wants mine from my bed. I get it, people are "AH." Enjoy your turkey, roast three or four, fill the house with poultry aroma and have/had a great Thanksgiving.
I realize that there is one in every family, or sometimes they are married into the family. DON'T BOW DOWN!!! If she is the one with the concerns, then STAY HOME.
I can't imagine the life this child will have? Or the neurotic traits this New MOMMA will develop with this chld.
This is just unbelievable. Her husband and child are in for a tough life. Being pregnant is a natural thing and demands little in the way of special concerns on the part of others. Everyone here gave good advice--STAY HOME. I am a vegetarian and hate the thought of animals being used for food---so at Thanksgiving I just enjoyed the vegetables. I wasn't going to banish turkey from the Thanksgiving spread!!!! If her relatives don't nip this in the bud they are in for many terrible times and that child will grow up to be a demanding, entitled adult. It is hard to believe that people actually behave in such a selfish, if not cruel way!
The pregnant Mama made her requests known and the lady hosting bent over backwards to adjust some for her which was reasonable. I appreciate that she tried to adjust with compromise. The demanding one should have met her half-way and agreed to adjust on her end some too. Some ppl are just blind to their faults while busy pointing out others at will. The compromise was reasonable on the hostess part but if pregnant Mama could not adjust some then she should suggest she stay home to the hostess herself. Why ruin things for everyone else! But there is always that one demanding premadona. We all know one in the family.
Gee the smell of coffee made me nauseous when I was pregnant but I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my friends, family or coworkers to forego making it for themselves. Sorry but this post greatly annoys me because it is the attitudes driving this country today. Entitlement 101. I'm special.