A woman posted on the AITA (Am I The A...Hole) subreddit recently to ask the internet whether or not she was wrong to ignore her mother-in-law’s comments about her stepson wearing eyeshadow.
She Encourages Her Stepson To Express Himself
The woman’s post starts off by explaining that her husband’s mother has been staying with her and her family while her house is currently being renovated. She and her husband have 2 other younger boys together, including her stepson, who she loves like her own. She is pregnant with their third, which she mentions is definitely her last one.
The woman also adds that since she has been in her stepson’s life since he was little, her mother-in-law blames her for every little “perceived ‘mistake’ he has ever made”. She says, “Anytime he disagrees with her, freely speaks his mind, or just does something she doesn’t like, I’m the one who’s “blamed” for it.”
The OP (Original Poster) does admit that she encourages her stepson to be his own person, stand up for himself, and express himself how he wants. So she understands she has a role to play in his behavior toward his grandmother.
She mentions that she does this with the other boys, too, as all she wants is for them to be happy.
The Morning Takes A Negative Turn After Mother-In-Law Has A Problem With The Stepson’s Green Eyeshadow
The story begins with the woman mentioning that the morning the incident happened, her husband had already gone off to work, and the younger boys were at the table with their grandmother, eating.
The OP was packing the boys’ lunches when her stepson came downstairs wearing an “oversized pink button down and flared jeans, and he had on some really pretty green eyeshadow”.
According to the post, the mother-in-law immediately took issue with the way he was dressed, telling him that he was dressed like a girl and that he needed to take the makeup off. The mother-in-law turned to OP and asked her, “aren’t you going to tell him he looks ridiculous?”
However, what the woman did instead was look at her stepson and tell him that he looked cute but that the “green eyeshadow didn’t match his outfit that well so next time he should try pink or neutrals”.
Her stepson gave her a little smile before going to put his shoes on.
Mother-In-Law Tells The OP She is Not The Stepson’s ‘Real’ Mother, So She Has No Right To Let Him Do Whatever He Wants
The OP explained that her mother-in-law was not happy. Their grandmother told her that she was being difficult and that since the woman’s stepson wasn’t “actually” her son, she had no place to allow him to do whatever he wanted.
But the OP responded that if she really thought she wasn’t his mother, she should’ve never told her to discipline him for wearing eyeshadow in the first place.
Unfortunately, when the OP’s husband called to ask what happened that morning with his mother, he agreed that the OP should have just given in to his mother’s wishes and told her stepson to take the eyeshadow off so as to not “irritate his mother further”.
Many users thought the OP was in the right here
One user said: “NTA (Not The A...hole). Next time, tell MIL that he's definitely more your son than hers, and she can find another place to stay if she can't keep her mouth shut.”
The most pressing issue for a lot of users was, however, whether or not pink and green go together. With many chiming in with their own fashion advice. The OP ended the post with an ETA (Edit To Add):
“I agree guys, pink and green is a very lovely combination! However, he had on forest green eyeshadow and a light pink shirt, which was cute don’t get me wrong, but I just think pink eyeshadow would have been a little more cohesive.”
She also mentioned in an update that her stepson was fine and even told her she was free to give him more fashion advice in the future.
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