A heartbroken woman has turned to the internet for answers on what she should do after she discovered her fiance used to be in love with her best friend.
Woman’s Friend Tells Her “It’s Amusing” That Her Fiance Ended Up With Her Though He Was Originally In Love With Her Friend
The newly-engaged OP has posted her concerns to the r/relationshipadvice subreddit.
The story starts off with her explaining that she and her boyfriend of 3 years have recently gotten engaged and everything has been “almost perfect”.
Then, one weekend, they were celebrating the engagement and everyone got pretty wasted. Usually a common disaster for learning things you never wanted to know.
One of the OP’s friends mentioned that they “found it amusing” that her fiance ended up with her despite liking her best friend originally.
When the OP asked what they meant, they elaborated that the OP’s fiance was “completely in love” with her best friend before he even started dating her.
“On top of that I was told he originally became friends with me to get closer to my friend,” she wrote, “I didn't find it funny, and [was] really upset.”
She Confronts Her Fiance About It. He Says It “Wasn’t That Bad”.
Like any woman scorned, the OP confronted her fiance about it, but he claims that they were exaggerating and that it “wasn’t that bad”. He said he had a small thing for her best friend, but became friends with the OP entirely by coincidence.
He further claimed that once he started to grow close with the OP, he fell head over heels in love with her and that whatever measly crush he had on her friend meant nothing.
“I honestly don't know for certain which is true.”
The OP explains why this situation hurts so badly. For starters, she says he’s an amazing partner and that she loves him so much.
She also knows that he hasn’t done anything with her friend as she would tell her immediately if he did, but the OP can’t help how she feels anyway.
“I know I'm not as beautiful as her or anything,” she wrote, “but I really thought I finally found someone who wanted ME.”
She Admits That She Feels Like His “Backup”
She wrote in the post that she feels like the “backup” because her fiance didn’t get the girl he originally wanted. She feels betrayed and although he tried to assure her he loves her, she can’t help feeling hurt and is having a hard time figuring out what to believe.
Reddit users were quick to come to her aid, hoping to provide some advice, comfort, support, and words of wisdom to help her move forward.
One user wrote, “A crush is not love. It's an initial reaction of attraction. That's it. No more. I'm married to the love of my life who no, I did not have that initial reaction to...it wasn't until we started talking that I was like wow- I really like this guy. Then it was love and now I can't imagine my life without him. He is my person even after 20 years.
Breathe. Don't make too much out of this. He chose you. He has 0 interest in her after knowing her. He loves you. No, he never loved her.”
Another person said, “Your friends suck. They never should have told you this. They knew exactly what they were doing.
OP he loves you. He pursued a relationship and a life with you. Dont let this destroy your feelings and confidence. Process how you're feeling and yet to forget it.”
The OP also mentioned that she was cheated on in a comment under the post, making it extremely difficult to trust people who claim to love her. Many people expressed sympathy for her and explained that they understood why something like this seemed so hard to overcome.
“OP also was cheated on before so that can definitely affect her. I think she needs to seek some therapy to help with dealing in these emotions but definitely talk to her fiancé about it too.”
- 25 Popular Things Women Wear That Men Secretly Hate
- 33 Dirty Company Secrets Revealed By Employees That We Are Not Supposed To Know
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.