A proud, 40-year-old Dad has turned to the r/relationshipadvice subreddit for advice on whether or not he should tell his son that he’s okay with him being gay.
Dad Admits He’s Extremely Proud of His Son. Says There’s Nothing He Could Do To Make Him Stop Loving Him.
The story starts off tame enough with the OP explaining that he has a son that he simply couldn’t be more proud of.
According to the post, his son is everything a father could want from his boy. He’s generous, loyal, and kind, and despite all the hardships he(and his father) have faced, the OP describes him as “unfailingly positive and sunny to the last”.
The OP explains that he wasn’t always present in the first 12 years of his son’s life, only seeing him two to three times a year at most. However, the OP got himself sobered up and ended up winning custody of his son. His son no longer has contact with his mother and the OP says it is “an honor” to have been able to watch his son grow up.
The story continues with the OP’s son getting accepted into a top-ranking university when he was 18.
“I was sad to see him go, but simultaneously overjoyed that he got into his first choice and was starting a new chapter in his life,” he wrote.
His son comes home once every month, or sometimes he goes to visit him. He mentions that his son’s life at university is going superbly well. He has made a ton of friends and he seems happy and comfortable there, which the OP says he’s “chuffed about”.
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His Son Asks If His “Friend” Can Stay With Them During The Pandemic
This is where the story gets interesting.
Since his son’s second year, his son has lived with one of his “friends” in a flat off-campus. The reason the word “friend” is in quotation marks is that the OP has suspected since his son was a teen that he was gay, and he further speculates that this “friend” is actually his son’s boyfriend.
Since the pandemic, his son has decided to come home and quarantine at the OP’s house instead of staying in his flat. His “friend”, however, would have been left alone during this scary time, since his family stays all the way in Canada.
“I gather he doesn't have the best relationship with them anyway,” he wrote.
His son asked if his “friend” could stay with them, and the OP had no problem saying ‘yes’.
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OP Catches His Son and His “Friend” Doing Very “Coupley” Things
However, the OP notes that his son and his “friend” have been engaging in very couple-y behavior since they’ve been there.
“They think they’re being subtle,” the OP said.
The “friend” has accidentally called the OP’s son ‘babe’ and ‘sweetie’ a few times, and there were other times when his son would wrap his arm around his friend during movie night when the lights were off.
“One day I walked into the lounge and I'm positive they'd just been kissing and were trying to cover it,” he wrote, “though I admit I have no confirmation on that one.”
The most damning evidence was when the OP got up and went for a run one morning and decided to peek in his son’s room to check on him, just to see his son and his “friend” wrapped up in each other’s arms asleep.
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Looking for advice
The father is looking for advice on what he should do. He wants his son to know that he’s okay with him being gay and that he doesn’t have to hide or keep his relationship a secret from him. However, he doesn’t want to pressure him(or his friend) to come out if they aren’t ready.
The Reddit community was happy to help such a supportive father, with one person writing: “First congrats on cleaning your life up and being there for your son, keep being strong. Most of the comments here are great and I think any of them would be fine. Just reassure your son its ok and that you'll love him no matter his sexuality. My friends dad left his son a sticky note for him to find that just said he loves him and approves of his boyfriend because hes such a gentleman lol. I think reassurance is best, but i love everyone else's comments.”
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Source: Reddit
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