Sometimes the world can be a complicated place to navigate. Having kids makes this even more difficult as we try to raise them in a way that helps them see (our) right from wrong, preparing them for when they go out into the world on their own.
A Dad needed some advice about his son, and decided to go to the AITA (Am I The A...hole?) subreddit to get some answers.
He starts off his post by explaining that he has a son, Jake, who is 10, and a daughter, Rebecca, who is 14.
"He’s always been quite feminine and that’s fine"
He explains that his son has always been quite feminine, and generally, it wasn't a problem.
However, lately, his daughter has come to him and his wife complaining that her makeup has been all messed up and her clothes have been going missing.
The Dad mentions that he “didn’t really have to be a detective to work out who had messed around with them.”
The OP (original poster) asked his son about it, and he admitted that he occasionally goes into his sister’s room and tries on her stuff. The Dad continues by explaining to his son that his sister’s clothes, and especially her makeup, which he tends to ruin, are not his to use.
OP’s Wife Said He Is Being Too "Judgemental"
His wife told him he was being unreasonable and that their son is going through a period of expression. She goes further to say that the OP was bordering on being “homophobic and transphobic” if he tried to put a stop to their son’s behavior.
The father admits that he does not like his son “wearing makeup and dresses, but that’s not the point, and I wouldn’t admit that to him or anyone”. The point, however, was to teach his son boundaries and that he shouldn’t be going into his sister’s room and taking her stuff without her permission.
The Dad tells his son that he can buy his own things with his allowance if he wishes. But the OP’s wife was still unsatisfied, saying that if Jake was a ‘girl’, they would encourage their daughters to share and that OP was holding their son to a different standard.
The father asks if he is the one who is, in fact, wrong
Many users were on Dad’s side for this one, with one user saying:
“NTA (not the a...hole) - Suggest he plays with his Moms makeup.
Let's see how chill she is with him messing it all up then. Realistically though, you're gonna have to find some way of getting him his own makeup to play with. "Flamboyance" doesn't go away, and you're at the stage where you get to choose what kind of memories he one day has of you back when he was figuring himself out.”
The Dad also pointed out in the second edit of his post that he really liked the idea a few users presented to take his son thrifting so he can pick out cheap outfits to experiment with. He added that his daughter will want something too, making a joke that kids are expensive.
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