My stepdaughter and I are very close, her boyfriend doesn't like that - Stepfather looking for solution

The story of a stepfather facing jealousy from his stepdaughter's boyfriend went viral on Reddit, as the boyfriend was unsatisfied with the kind of relationship they had together, which the stepfather described as “outside what many people would consider to be the norm.” 

The Reddit community was updated on the stepfather-stepdaughter relationship and its effect on her love life.

Close relationship

The stepfather (34 years old) says he and his stepdaughter (19 years old) have a close relationship and that she never had a positive male influence growing up, but he saw this as a chance to step in and support her. This, in turn, helped him win his wife's heart. 

Normal for them

Now, both of them are comfortable with showing physical affection – hugs, cheek kisses, using each other as pillows – it's all just a normal part of their relationship. 

He also notes that she does the same with his wife and that he’s not attracted to his stepdaughter although she's a pretty girl.

A new date

The problem is that his stepdaughter has started dating and her boyfriend (20 years old) is not familiar with the level of affection. He asked her dad to tone it down when he's around, but his daughter is unaware of this request.

The boyfriend made the request when she – in accordance with their normal behavior – “hopped” in her stepfather's lap to hand him her phone at a restaurant.

Not weird for them

In an update from the OP, he made it clear that he never initiates physical affection with his stepdaughter. She always initiates it and if she feels comfortable with it, so does he. If she is no longer comfortable with it, it will not happen again. “It's nothing that would be considered weird,” he explains. 

Looking for a solution

As the stepfather found himself torn between supporting his daughter in her new relationship and maintaining the strong bond he and his daughter have built, he sought guidance from the Reddit community. 

Jealousy

Many of the commenters advised the stepfather to talk to his stepdaughter about the situation so that she can bring it up with her boyfriend. They think the boyfriend sees the stepfather as a threat, despite the stepfather only having a family relationship with her. 

The commentators were accurate in their observations, as the stepfather revealed that the boyfriend admitted to feeling jealous of him.

The jealousy could be due to the stepfather's good looks

When asked to describe his appearance, the stepfather stated that he would rate himself as an 8 or 9 out of 10 on the scale of attractiveness. “I am, admittedly, kind of a trophy husband,” he said. 

They already discussed it with her boyfriend

In an update from the OP, he mentioned that he took his daughter aside for a brief chat when her boyfriend was over for dinner, and told her about the situation.

She was surprised, as she had already discussed it with her boyfriend. 

Another day, the girlfriend attempted to ease her boyfriend's jealousy by explaining to him why she has such a close relationship with her stepfather.

She shared a story about how he made her mother happy, his kindness to her, his patience and sensitivity, and how she will always be grateful for all he has done for her.

Not going to work out

She also emphasizes that her love for her stepfather and their close relationship will never change. 

“If you think I'll change my relationship with my dad for you, then you've made a mistake,” she said, “If you're too insecure to handle the fact that I'm close to MY DAD, this isn't going to work out.” 

A recurring thought

The boyfriend seemed to understand the situation better, but the thought of the stepfather's good looks still made him feel "weird" and "creepy" about their relationship.

"It's not just because you're close, I get that he's been good to you and your mom and that's great,” he said, “but have you seen the guy?"

The girlfriend expressed how it was “really weird” that two persons on the table – her boyfriend and her mother — think that her dad is "desirable". 

“Choosing time is over, the door is that way. Do not call or text me anymore," she told her boyfriend before he left and she went to her room crying.

They broke up eventually

Despite feeling sad about his daughter's first heartbreak, the stepfather felt that it was a blessing in disguise, saying that his daughter “dodged a bullet.” 

Her stepfather added that he was proud of the way she handled the situation. 

Mixed feelings

Some of the commentators described the boyfriend as "toxic," while others were glad that his daughter didn't “put up” with his behavior. Still, others couldn’t resist cracking a joke, writing, “The (ex-)boyfriend: Oh no, her dad is hot!”

In the end, jealousy between couples is normal, but the question of whether it can reach the level of being jealous of the girlfriend's stepfather – even if he’s good-looking – is still open for discussion.

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Source: Reddit