It's generally agreed that religious beliefs should be a matter of personal choice and not forced upon others. However, the question arises as to whether one has the right to influence a child with teachings that contradict those of their parents.
This topic was recently brought up on Reddit, where someone asked if they were wrong for telling their niece that not everyone is necessarily religious.
Niece's Prayer at a Family Gathering
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According to the OP, they attended a dinner at a relative's home where their 6-year-old niece was present and suggested that the family members should say a prayer before beginning their meal.
So far, there's no issue with a niece making such a suggestion as it's a common practice in many households and a way of giving thanks for the food provided.
Fear or Faith? Niece's Fear of Hell Sparks Debate at Dinner
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According to the OP, the problem with the niece's saying they need to pray is that she said her mother had told her “if you don’t pray you are going to hell.”
While saying prayers before meals is a customary tradition that is often taught to children from a young age, linking it to the fear of hell is not as common.
Disagreeing with Niece's Fear-Based Prayer
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Upon hearing that from their niece, the OP made it clear that they do not share those beliefs.
“I don’t believe in any of that,” they told their niece.
Not Everyone is Religious
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In addition to stating their own stance on the matter of praying before meals., the OP also explained to her niece that not everyone shares this belief and that people hold different beliefs on this matter.
Drawing the Line on Forcing Religious Beliefs
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The OP stated in the post that they have no issue with individuals holding their own beliefs but draw the line when those beliefs are forced upon others.
“It’s ok to believe in something but not okay to try and force it on other people,” they wrote.
Niece's Mother Reacts Negatively to the Situation
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The niece's mother was mad with the OP after they shared their belief that not everyone is religious.
It’s understandable that the mother became upset since she wants to raise her child according to her beliefs and what she considers to be best for her.
Niece's Love and Fear for Jesus
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Based on previous conversations with the child's mother, the 6-year-old seems to have a “great fear and love for Jesus.”
A 6-Year-Old Fearing Jesus Causes “Cringe”
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The OP finds it cringe-worthy that a child as young as 6 has such great fear for Jesus, as it is not how they believe a child of that age should feel.
“Still makes me cringe,” they wrote about the way their niece was being brought up.
The Limits of Religious Education
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Teaching a child about eternity in hell just because they don't believe in what we do is a “terrible thing,” according to the OP’s beliefs.
Not Forcing Religious Beliefs
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They stressed that they didn't force their views on the child but only shared that other beliefs exist, which is why they don't understand the mother's anger.
Searching for Feedback
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Although the OP firmly believes that they didn't do anything wrong by telling their niece about different beliefs, they still have doubts and maybe a sense of guilt about their actions since the mom got angry.
Looking for a second opinion, the OP reached out to the Reddit community to hear their verdict on whether it was wrong to inform their niece that not everyone shares the same religious beliefs.
“Awful Parent”
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“Of course, someone who threatens someone with hell is going to be angry with you for saying it doesn’t exist,” wrote one Redditor.
“This awful parent has no other way to control her child. And yes, the child deserves to know about reality. It’s important that you tread lightly here so that you can keep being a good influence in this kid’s life. If you get kicked out of her life, you can’t do that.”
“Blind Devotion”
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Another “NTA” voter believed that religion is more than just “make-believe stories that encourage blind devotion,” adding that anyone who asks them about my religious beliefs always gets “I'm a second-generation atheist.”
“Major A-hole”
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“It's not like you told her ‘Well, I believe we're all going into the black void!’ or ‘I believe your God is a LIE perpetuated by the evil!’ You just told her people have other beliefs,” one person pointed out.
“Her mom sounds like a major a-hole if the very concept of differing beliefs is something she didn't want her daughter to know.”
Do You Even Have to Believe in Hell to Pray?
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A Reddit user who voted “NTA” pointed out that not only are not all people religious, but also not everyone who prays believes in the concept of hell, which might come as a surprise to the mother in this situation.
“Just wait until her mother finds out that some people who pray don't believe hell exists,” they commented.
People agree
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The Reddit community is largely in agreement that religion is a personal choice, and no one should force their beliefs on others, regardless of whether they believe in a higher power or not.
“You weren't trying to change her views on if there is a God or not but just pointed out that other people have different views,” wrote one person, pointing out, “It's her mum that's the real problem here with what she is telling her daughter.”
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Source: Reddit