The soon-to-be bride is hesitant to invite a friend to her wedding due to her behavior at a previous wedding that caused drama, causing the bride to question her friend's maturity. Feeling uncertain, she turns to the online community for advice on this complicated situation.
Growing Apart
As the OP begins her Reddit post, she starts off by sharing about her friend Morgan, who at 27, has been growing apart from her in recent years.
This disconnect between them stems from their differing opinions on how Morgan handled a situation at their mutual friend Lucy's wedding back in 2019.
Baking for a Big Day
At Lucy's request, Morgan had agreed to make some desserts and sweet treats for the reception, as it was the only food other than cocktail sandwiches that would be served.
Hidden Costs
After agreeing on the price, they had settled on a figure of “£500” for all the baked goods, which was just an approximation for the sake of simplicity, as noted by the OP. In reality, the cost was much higher, as Lucy and her partner were footing the bill for the entire wedding.
A Generous Offer
Roughly seven months before the wedding, Lucy's parents stepped in and offered to cover the remaining fees, which the couple gladly accepted.
This also meant that they would have more funds available to pay Morgan for the food she was preparing.
Wedding Budget Woes
As it turned out, the funds that were supposed to be available for compensating Morgan were quickly depleted by other expenses and fees.
Asking For More Money
The OP speculates that Morgan might have found out about the “extra money” at the wedding and requested more compensation from Lucy, but was turned down because Lucy simply didn't have any extra money to spare.
A Wedding Day Disaster
Morgan insisted on receiving £2000 instead of the previously agreed £500 and took all the baked goods back to her truck, leaving the wedding reception without any desserts or sweet treats for most of the event.
No Food For Guests
Lucy was clearly experiencing a breakdown, and despite the efforts of her partner, the families of the married couple, and their entire friend group, she refused to bring the food back in.
Saving the Day
Fortunately, some people stepped up and ordered a large quantity of pizzas, burgers, milkshakes, and other food, saving the wedding. However, the incident caused a great deal of avoidable stress.
Letting Go
The OP has distanced herself from Morgan, but since Morgan is somewhat connected to Lucy and the friend group, she is still loosely associated with them. She’s been attempting to let it go since they bumped into each other at family events.
Excluding A Friend
The OP made her engagement public in December and scheduled the wedding for August 2023, with the exclusion of Morgan, who is not on the guest list.
“Argumentative and Vindictive”
“I'm not trying to be a b..ch,” she states in her Reddit post, “but she has shown herself to be very vindictive and calculated in her malicious actions since this wedding debacle and the last thing I want is her kicking off.”
Upset Friend
In her Reddit post, the OP notes that there’s a separate group chat that Morgan is not a part of, but she knows about the upcoming wedding and is unhappy about not being invited.
“We're Not Friends”
Morgan called her and asked why she wasn't invited to the wedding, and she responded that they were not really friends but more like acquaintances even before Lucy's wedding.
Doubting Morgan’s Maturity
She felt compelled to remind Morgan that her behavior at and after Lucy's wedding had made her doubt Morgan's maturity and ability to respect her upcoming special day.
Choosing Peace of Mind Over Friendships
“I know I can't prevent EVERYTHING from happening at my wedding but if I can remove one factor for my own anxiety, then fine,” the OP explains.
Now, Morgan is extremely upset with the soon-to-be bride and groom and is asking Lucy to help her get invited to the wedding. As a result, the OP turned to Reddit for guidance and support, which is exactly what she found.
Not In the Wrong, But Apologize to Lucy
“NTA, though I do think you should've kept Lucy out of it,” the top comment on Reddit reads.
“Now, you brought Lucy into more drama that she didn't need when she seemingly is trying to patch it up? They still hang in family gatherings and Lucy didn't push her out of the friend group when no one else likes her. So that kinda makes you sh.tty. But not for not inviting her.”
“I Guess I'm Confused”
The OP replied to the commenter, explaining that they were just "confused" and didn't intend to cause any trouble by involving Lucy.
She explained, “Lucy is a close friend and she's invited. Morgan reached out to me and when I said she wasn't invited, she took it upon herself to ask Lucy to ask me”
Cut Morgan off
“Increasing your price with ample notice is an as-hole move. Doing it on the day of the wedding means I can no longer respect you or be associated with you,” one commenter expressed.
“I would not have allowed Morgan to remain a part of my friend group unless she took full accountability for the insane stunt she pulled.”
“That’s a Hell of a Friend”
The OP defended Lucy to a commenter who was baffled by her continued communication with Morgan, stating:
“They're related somehow (I think Morgan's dad is married to one of Lucy's aunts but said aunt isn't Morgan's mum). It's confusing but they see each other at family gatherings so I think she's just trying to keep the peace.”
“Disgusting Behavior”
“Morgan can kick rocks,” one user commented. “She tried to extort Lucy on the day of her wedding. I’d want nothing to do with Morgan ever again, much less at my own wedding.”
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Source: Reddit
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