Devout Catholic grandmother refuses to pay for gay grandson's tuition while his atheist mother prioritizes a kitchen "remodel" over his education

With the kitchen “falling apart” and her gay son's education on the line, the mother takes to the internet for guidance about the situation that arose when her religious mother-in-law discovered that he had come out and was talking with a boy at his college.

Atheist Parents Embrace LGBTQ+ Pride

A 40-year-old mother took to Reddit to share her story of how her 19-year-old son had come out to her and her 40-year-old husband when he was just 14 years old.

Both the husband and wife, who are atheists and strong supporters of the LGBTQ+ community, were proud of their son for his courage in coming out.

Devout Catholic Grandmother

While the parents were proud, the husband's mother – a devout Catholic – is “extremely intolerant” of gay people. 

Being a wealthy grandmother, she made it clear to her grandchildren from a young age that their college expenses will be covered, but with the condition that they attend a private Christian or Catholic school.

Protecting Grandchildren

The grandmother firmly believes that by attending a private Christian or Catholic school, her grandchildren will be shielded from engaging in activities such as partying and intimacy before marriage. 

A Year Ahead

The son made the decision to enroll in a Christian college located in a different state. Thanks to his extensive participation in Advanced Placement (AP) classes during high school, he graduated with a significant number of college credits. 

As a result, he is on track to complete his degree in just three years instead of the typical four. He has now completed the first year of his program, and the expenses for the second year have already been covered.

Sharing A Secret

Celebrating his grandmother's birthday during the Labor Day weekend, the son seized the opportunity to share something with one of his cousins: “He was talking to a boy at his college, and thought he could trust him.” 

Broken Trust

According to the son, his cousin initially seemed to be supportive, but he ultimately told both his mom and dad, who “are just are religious as the grandmother,” about it. 

Stern Message

Filled with intense anger, the grandmother took it upon herself to contact the wife and deliver a stern message. She explicitly stated that she would no longer provide any financial assistance towards her grandson's tuition, insisting that the wife inform him of this decision and adding that she would cease all communication with him.

Grandmother Gets “Livid”

Filled with intense anger, the grandmother took it upon herself to contact the mother and deliver a clear message. 

She said that she would no longer provide any financial assistance towards her grandson's tuition, demanding her to relay this message to him and saying that she would no longer talk to him.

Prioritizing Education

The mother mentions that she repeatedly advised her son not to come out to his grandmother, cousins, aunt, or uncle until he had completed his college education. 

She wanted to ensure that he could focus on his studies without the added stress or potential negative consequences of coming out to religious family members. “I hate that he can’t be himself,” the mother reveals, “but my husband and I cannot afford his college.”

“I Don’t Like My Mother-In-Law”

The mother also admits that she doesn’t like her mother-in-law and plans to go no contact with her once her 15-year-old daughter and 13-year-old son have also had the opportunity to have their tuition paid.

Sacrificing for Siblings

The son who came out is “okay” with his mom waiting until his siblings finish their education, however, he will be forced to take out student loans and bear the financial burden of his final year of college.

Devastated Son

Now, the son is completely “devastated” by two facts. Firstly, his final year of college will not be financially paid due to his coming out. Secondly, he can no longer trust his cousin after he outed him to his family.

Renovations or Education?

While the son wants his parents to cover the expenses for his final year of college, it poses a financial challenge as they have $25,000 saved up, which they originally intended to allocate for much-needed kitchen renovations.

“Our oven barely works, our dishwasher doesn’t work at all, and the kitchen itself is worn down and outdated,” the mother describes.  

“VERY Expensive” School Tuition

The parents took the time to explain to their son that the kitchen renovations are crucial because it is “falling apart” and in need of repair. 

Additionally, they emphasize that the cost of the renovations is significantly lower compared to his tuition expenses. Even if they were to delay the kitchen renovations, they would still face a shortfall because his private school tuition is “VERY expensive.” 

Clashing Priorities

Despite the parents' explanation, the son remains unconvinced that the kitchen renovations should take priority over his education. 

“My son is calling me an a..hole for prioritizing a ‘remodel’ over his education,” the mom shares. 

A Necessity, Not Luxury

The mother clarifies that the $25,000 budget set aside for kitchen renovations does not primarily cover the cost of appliances. Instead, the majority of the money will only go towards crucial infrastructure repairs. 

“I live in an expensive area, and yes, this is what it costs to fix just the necessities,” she asserts. “The kitchen will in no way be fancy. I am not doing remodel for aesthetics.”

Seeking Guidance

“I feel like he is an adult and he needs to be the one to deal with the consequences, not us,” she states in her post, posing a question for the Reddit community: “AITA for not using our family’s savings to cover his remaining tuition?”

The Mother Is In the Wrong

“YTA. Not because you can't afford it and letting your adult son figure it out... but for saying it was his fault he lost his money,” reads the top comment. “You are more angry at your child than at the little tattle-tale who vomited homophobia at the first chance they got.”

“You say ‘I hate that he has to hide himself’ but the moment he tripped up, you said, "Well sucks to be you, now f.ck off.’ You're not as accepting as you seem.”

Not In the Wrong

“NTA,” voted another Redditor. “In truth, the problem is your bigoted MIL, not you or your son. However, you just cannot give your son what you cannot afford. He will simply have to take out a student loan.” 

No One Is To Blame

“Your title is highkey bs--he didn't come out to his family. He came out to one person that he thought he could trust, and that person outed him to everyone else,” one user pointed out.

“I have to say NAH--it's understandable that you don't want to dump your savings, and it's understandable that he's upset about losing his college.”

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Source: Reddit