The V-card is a great thing for a woman to keep. Who she chooses to cash it in on is her choice, and how she makes that choice is her prerogative. Because sex is everywhere we look these days, the pressure for a woman to lose her virginity is at an all-time high.
With pressure, many women seek advice from their peers to figure out exactly what they are in store for when it comes to losing their virginities. Unfortunately, this leads to a lot of myths and unnecessary preparation for the big night. Well, ladies, there should be some preparation (mentally and physically), but in the end, it is important to know that every woman’s experience losing her virginity will be unique.
If you are on the hunt for information about losing your virginity, you are already showing that you are a woman who prepares. In the end, you should make your choice of whether or not to take this step based on your own standards, morals, and emotional health. Check out these four myths concerning losing your virginity to help you make the be decision.
#1) It Has to Be Romantic
Unfortunately, ladies, it doesn’t have to be anything. Romance is an added bonus if you choose to discuss virginity with your partner, and plan an elaborate night before cashing in your V-card. However, even then, you will find extenuating circumstances that lead to some not-so-romantic events.
If your partner is also a virgin, it may take a little bit of time to find a rhythm with him, which can take away from some of the romantic aspects of the night.
Additionally, you may feel a little pain or discomfort (depending on the amount of interaction you’ve had before). This is not true for everyone, but understanding the physical aspects of sex is important for those who wish to take this step.
To better your chances of a romantic experience, it is recommended that you discuss your virginity with your partner. Tell him what it means to you. Ask him what it means to him. Always trust your instincts when it comes to his reaction. If he doesn’t seem to pay attention to your feelings, it is probably for the best that you save your V-card for someone who does so.
#2) It Will Be an Epic Event that Will Change Your Life
While losing your virginity does change your perception of things, you may find that the following day, you feel like pretty much the same person. Or, if you do feel as though you are a completely different person, that feeling will soon disappear as you partake in more sexual activity.
You may feel more cynical or more in love based on the way in which you lost your virginity. However, these feelings tend to dissipate as well.
In five years, when you look back, you will rarely (if ever) say “before I lost my virginity” or “after I lost my virginity.”
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#3) You Have a Deadline
Some women think (or worse, are told) that they should lose their virginity before college. Others are told that they need to lose it before they graduate high school. While others are pressured into losing their virginity on prom night.
Well, ladies, in the end, there is no deadline. You shouldn’t pressure yourself, and you shouldn’t allow others to pressure you. While sex is becoming more and more apparent in the world, and it is becoming more and more acceptable for women to lose their virginities at earlier ages, it is not uncommon to see women who choose to keep their virginities well into their twenties.
You don’t necessarily have to wait for marriage or love, but you should definitely feel ready to lose your virginity when the time comes. There will be pressure from the men you are seeing as well as your peers. This is an unfortunate fact about virginity and high school social standards that shouldn’t exist. However, if you are not ready, and you choose not to cash in your V-card, just know that you shouldn’t fall to the peer pressure.
Let me tell you a little story: I have three older sisters; most of my friends in high school were more developed and more sexual than I was. My sisters would often crack jokes about my “cherry,” and my friends would often talk about their sexual experiences, then look at me and say, “You’ll understand when you have sex.”
I was not a confident teen by any means, and I often felt attacked when things like this happened, so I just started lying to them. “Yup, I totally lost my virginity. It’s gone! Dust in the wind, that one!”
Had I only known… in all honesty, just like with any kind of bullying or peer pressure, the people making fun of me were doing so because there was a hint of underlying jealousy in them.
When my niece started getting serious with her boyfriend, I knew my sister was pressuring her. I told my niece, “I don’t care if you’re in love or not. I don’t care if you feel pressure. In the end, you just have to be ready. You have to know it is right for you.”
Remember, there is no timeline for when you should lose your virginity. Your body, heart, and mind will let you know when you are ready.
#4) You Can’t Get Pregnant Your First Time
Ladies, if a guy tells you that you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex, remember this: he is a man; he definitely can’t get pregnant the first time, but you sure as hell can! Yes, you can get pregnant your first time, and your second time, and your third. Whenever you have sex you run the risk of getting pregnant.
This is just science, ladies. Don’t go thinking that you should avoid condoms your first time. You should always wear protection—always. Birth control pills do not prevent sexually transmitted diseases, and they don’t always prevent pregnancy.
If one of your female friends tells you that you cannot get pregnant your first time, pull up a Google search that proves her wrong—terribly wrong.
Ladies, losing your virginity is a serious step in your life. Remember that you are the one who gets to make the choice. Do not allow peer pressure to sway your decision. Trust your instincts, and make sure you talk to your partner about it. Are you ready to lose your virginity? Share with us in the comments below!
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Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.