Picture yourself as a parent who is meeting your son's girlfriend for the first time, only to be greeted by a crude joke about her physical intimacy with your son. Would you let it slide or would you feel the need to call her out on it? For one particular mom who shared her story on Reddit, immediately kicking the girlfriend out of the house was the only option.
Introducing Beloved Girlfriend to Parents
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The OP, aged 56, and her 58-year-old husband were recently introduced to their son's girlfriend.
She mentions that her son, 24, had been dating this girl for a year before the introduction, adding that he had been crazy about his girlfriend.
Parents Delighted by Son's Girlfriend's Achievements and Family Values
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The son's glowing remarks about his girlfriend have left a positive impression on his parents; she recently earned her degree, loves her job, and is family-oriented.
The parents are thrilled that their son has finally found happiness with this girl.
She’s “the One”
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The son's girlfriend came over for dinner on a weekend, a much-awaited introduction for the parents, given how much their son had been raving about her.
According to him, she was perfect and "the one."
Remorseful Feeling After Kicking Out Son's Girlfriend
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Both the mother and her husband acknowledge that their son has never been so in love with anyone before, which makes the mother feel particularly remorseful about her decision to kick his girlfriend out of their home.
Girlfriend's Looks and Smile Make Perfect First Impression on Parents
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The doorbell rings, and the parents excitedly open the door to greet the happy couple.
Seeing the girlfriend, they notice that the girlfriend looks exactly like her pictures, which is an excellent first impression, and the son's ear-to-ear grin only adds to the already positive start.
Mother Prioritizes Her Children's Happiness over Strict Partner Criteria
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The mother asserts that she doesn't have any specific criteria that her children's spouses need to meet. Her only hope is that her kids are happy with their partners.
“We aren’t strict about appearances,” she states. “It’s just a relief to have met someone for the first time and they look like what you’d expected.”
A Joke Gone Wrong
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After accepting a warm hug from the mother and a firm handshake from the father, the girlfriend opens her mouth to speak.
“I’m the one your son puts his pen.s in,” she said.
Like Father, Like Son. Girlfriend's Joke Amuses Both Son and Father, Who Share a Love for Humor
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Since the mother knew that her husband and son were both fond of jokes, she expected that her husband would laugh at the girlfriend's joke, and wasn’t surprised when they showed no signs of disapproval.
Not the Right Impression. Mother Appalled by Girlfriend's Joke
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On the other hand, the mother was “appalled” to hear this from the girlfriend. Her greatest irritation stemmed from the fact that she had never met the parents and still chose to say something like "that."
“Maybe I’m reserved,” she admits. “But of all things she could have shared about my son, she told us THAT.”
Amusement Fades Upon Seeing Mother's Disapproval
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Initially, the son found it amusing, but when he saw my reaction, his demeanor changed.
A single glance at her husband's face and he understood how much the wife disapproved.
Shattered Expectations
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The mother was particularly disappointed because she thought that her son had finally found everything he had been searching for in a girlfriend, only to get hit by this supposedly funny joke from his girlfriend.
He previously told them that she’s a “full package” because she met all the criteria that he had previously shared with them as being important in a partner.
Mother Reacts Strongly and Kicks Girlfriend Out
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The girlfriend's comment created a disturbing mental image in the mother's mind, causing her to feel angry and unable to control her emotions.
She ultimately made the decision to cut short the parents' introduction, as she could no longer handle the situation, and immediately kicked the girlfriend out of the house.
Grossly Inappropriate
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The disturbed mother bluntly told the girlfriend to “get out,” of the house.
“I wanted to say more about how gross it made me feel but I, fortunately, left it at that,” the mom added.
Mother Knows Best
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Unsurprisingly, the son was unhappy with his mother's decision to kick out his girlfriend from the house, and he kept insisting that she give the girlfriend another chance.
His efforts were unsuccessful.
No Going Back
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Despite her son's insistence to give his girlfriend a second chance, the mother had grown too “fed up” and “uncomfortable” at this point and refused to reconsider.
Even the father, who enjoyed his fair share of “raunchy jokes,” was unable to change her mind.
Second Thoughts
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Although the mother seemingly acted harshly by kicking the girlfriend out of the house, she is not completely heartless and feels some regret about it.
“They [the father and son] left and I immediately felt guilty,” she admits.
Was It Worth It?
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The mother felt as if she had deprived her son of something he had eagerly anticipated, which was introducing the girl he truly loved to his parents.
It makes her feel like she took that away over a “dumb joke.”
Distance Amplifies Regret After Kicking Out Son's Girlfriend
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Adding to the mother's sense of guilt is the fact that she lives in a nearby state, which typically takes an hour to travel back to their hometown.
Furthermore, her son hasn’t been in a committed relationship for a couple of years.
Only Introducing a Future Wife
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The son had previously told his parents that he would only introduce someone to them if he sees a future with her.
After telling his parents about his girlfriend, they have been constantly asking to meet her, but he wanted to make sure he was ready before introducing her to them.
Mother Takes Responsibility for Kicking Out Son's Girlfriend and Doesn’t Expect an Apology
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The mother takes full responsibility for kicking out the girlfriend, and she doesn’t want her husband to be blamed for it, stressing that he had no involvement in the decision.
While he believes that the girlfriend should offer an apology, his wife is not expecting one. Additionally, the mother tried calling the girlfriend to apologize, but he hasn’t responded.
Was the Mother In the Wrong?
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The mother finds herself in a complex situation where her son's happiness is at stake, and her discomfort with the girlfriend's remarks has left her feeling conflicted.
Overwhelmed with guilt, she turns to Reddit for guidance, and the community provides her with the feedback she needs.
The Girlfriend’s Joke Wasn’t Justified, Even for an “Open-Minded” and “Liberal” Person
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“NTA,” one Reddit user voted.
“I'd never lead with that meeting my BF's parents for the first time. Or say that, EVER. You apologized. Wow. Hats off to you. Don't beat yourself up. If she is decent at all, she'll understand. If she's not, then maybe good riddance?”
It’s Not Even Considered a Joke
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“It's not a joke unless everyone laughs. She and your son need to apologize,” one person suggested, to which another replied, “Son only needs to apologize if he told her to say it. If he didn't and it's all her, then she's the only one who should apologize”.
Everyone is to Blame
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“ESH,” voted one Redditor.
“The girlfriend made an inappropriate joke…But kicking her out so quickly was a complete overreaction. Ignoring it and just carrying on like it didn’t happen or even just pointing out the inappropriateness of it would have been fine. But your reaction was too much.”
Maybe She Was Trying to Break the Ice
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“I'm going to go with ESH,” wrote one Redditor.
“My family joke when meeting someone for the first time but it's never by saying something that vulgar. Kicking them out over it was a bit extreme though. She may have been told about your husband's sense of humor and used it to break the ice or she could have run it by your son and he could have told her it would be ok.”
Everyone Needs a Do-Over
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According to a commenter who voted "NTA," it's possible that the girlfriend made the crude joke in an effort to ease her nerves.
“It's not something to permanently damage your relationship with your son and his partner,” they wrote, adding, “She should apologize, but I don't know if she will. Hopefully, years from now, you guys will all laugh about how awkward the start of your relationship was.”
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Source: Reddit