A woman who recently divorced her husband due to a lack of intimacy was given some “tough love” by her sibling, who told her that her habit of “sexualizing” every interaction and neglecting “innocent” displays of affection may have contributed to her situation.
Two Men and a Guest
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Taking to Reddit, the OP shares that their sister has been staying with them and their husband, both men in their late twenties, for over a week now.
The sister and her husband have initiated divorce proceedings, and she has said that she doesn't want to be alone right now.
Sibling Support
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Her sibling completely understands her situation, as it can be tough to transition from living with someone to being alone. As a result, the sister's sibling and their spouse welcomed her into their home.
Uncomfortable Truth
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The sister's stay in the married couple's home was going smoothly until the OP found out the reason behind her failed marriage.
After having several conversations with the sister about the situation, her sibling started to feel “a little uncomfortable.”
No Scandal, No Infidelity
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As per the post, the divorce did not happen due to typical reasons that lead to a divorce, which was quite a shock for the OP.
“There was no infidelity. There was no big scandal,” they assert.
The Surprising Reason for Divorce
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While there was no infidelity or scandal involved, there was something unexpected that led to the sister's divorce.
They share, “What she told me is that her husband wasn't having sex with her enough.”
Shocking Details
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Upon learning that the intimate relationship was the main reason for the divorce, the sister continued to share shocking details, leaving her sibling completely “floored.”
Feeling Like Roommates
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The lack of intimacy in the relationship was the primary issue for the sister, as it made her feel like she wasn't a wife, ultimately leading to the divorce.
“She says without sex, the two of them were basically just like roommates,” the OP continues.
Hormonal Imbalance Test
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The sister had been pushing for her husband to take a hormone imbalance test because, despite still being intimate with her husband, it wasn't enough.
Is This All You Care About?
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The sister claimed that her husband started resisting even normal touches from her because he believed that “all she thought about was sex.”
Intimacy Is Important, But It’s Not Everything
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While the OP claims that they have been supportive of their sister, they cannot understand how she believes that intimacy is the sole factor that differentiates a partner from a roommate or even a friend
Love Is More Important
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“If my partner told me tomorrow that he wasn't up for sex for the next few weeks, months, or longer, I would just take care of myself and respect that,” the OP shares.
“I love him and I want him to be the person I do life with forever.”
A Cozy Saturday Night
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The OP recounts when they were spending a lazy Saturday night with their husband, watching some shows and having a chat on the couch.
They were massaging and rubbing their husband's feet and ankles absentmindedly as they watched TV, with his legs resting on their lap.
Foot Massage Sparks Family Drama
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The sister, who was living with the married couple after her divorce, walked in during the innocent foot massage and made a comment that sparked family drama.
When a Joke Isn't Funny
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“My sister came in, saw me doing it, and made a joke along the lines of ‘Ah, OP, I didn't know you were into feet’ or ‘I didn't know you had a foot fetish.’”
Misinterpreted Intentions
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The OP was taken aback by the sister's interpretation of their innocent display of affection towards their husband as “sexualizing” the gesture.
“Intimacy CAN be sexual, but it doesn't have to be,” they remark in the Reddit post.
Words That Sting
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The sister's comment about the foot massage irritated her sibling, prompting them to retort, "You sexualizing every interaction is why you're in the situation you are now."
This response led to her feeling upset and calling the OP a "d..k" before storming out of the room.
Beyond Physical Intimacy
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While acknowledging that lack of intimacy can be a major issue in a relationship, the OP also believes that intimacy encompasses more than just the physical aspect, and it's sad to see so many people view it otherwise.
Tough Love or Too Much?
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The OP is now seeking validation and feedback from the Reddit community regarding their comment to their sister about her divorce.
They recognize that their comment may have been “harsh,” but they are unsure if it was necessary tough love or too much.
“That’s Weird”
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“NTA. That is a weird thing to say to your sibling and thinking every time you touch your partner it has to be for sexual reasons is screwed up,” one user wrote.
“You probably could've been nicer but that's a weird thing to say.”
Everyone Is To Blame
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“ESH. It’s weird that your sister made a comment that sexualized her brother. That’s f..king strange,” another Redditor commented.
“However, why did you have to bring her failed marriage into it? She confided in you, you didn’t agree, and you threw it in her face. There are so many ways you could have expressed your concerns about her reasons for her divorce without attacking her.”
The Sister Did Nothing Wrong
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“You are a bit YTA. It really disturbs me that there are people who think that sex isn't important in a relationship because, for a majority of couples, it is a very important aspect,” expressed one commenter.
“This does not sound like a case where she's hypersexual. It sounds like she's feeling neglected and rejected by her husband. It sounds like she has a healthy s-x drive, and there is something potentially wrong with her husband. Stop sl.t shaming your sister for wanting her relationship to be healthy.”
“You Owe Your Sister a Deep Apology”
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“Holy sh.t YTA.She made a slight joke, maybe one you found offensive. From my perspective, this is a light tease,” another user shared.
“That wasn't tough love. It wasn't love at all.”
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Source: Reddit