One father is torn between joining his two little daughters on their very first visit to Disney and granting his in-laws the opportunity to create cherished moments with them. The father-in-law's ongoing struggle with prostate cancer intensifies this dilemma, as he wants to create lasting memories with his granddaughters before it's too late.
Two Little Princesses
In a Reddit post, a 28-year-old husband shares that his wife, also 28, has two daughters aged 6 and 5, which happens to be the perfect Disney age. Both girls are absolutely obsessed with princesses and all things magical.
Dreaming of Disney
The parents have discussed taking their daughters to Disney in the coming years as they know that the girls would absolutely love the experience.
“We’ve always known that Disney would be our big trip with our girls,” the father shares.
While the mother has never been to Disney before, the father experienced it once when he was 10 years old.
“It was definitely a memorable trip for me as my family had to save up a while for it,” he recounts.”
Father-in-Law's Worsening Prostate Cancer
In July, the father's father-in-law has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Despite undergoing several rounds of chemotherapy and enduring intense hospital stays, the condition has only worsened.
The cancer has now spread to other organs, and instead of continuing the battle, he has made the difficult decision to forego further chemotherapy and focus on living with the time he has left.
Both the father-in-law and mother-in-law have made the decision to create lasting memories with their family. One such memory involves taking the little daughters to Disney and surprising them with the trip during the Christmas season.
A Pleasant Surprise?
Initially, the husband assumed that his wife would also be opposed to the idea, as they had always expressed their desire to witness the joy on their daughters' faces during a trip to Disney.
Secretly Planning Disney Trip
To the husband’s surprise, he discovered that his mother-in-law had already discussed and received approval from his wife for the plan a month ago. The wife kept it secret from her husband because she thought he would be pleasantly surprised and excited for their daughters.
“I sat through all of the rest of the night, but when we got home we had a serious discussion about it,” the husband writes.
During the discussion, the husband expressed his preference for their daughters' first Disney experience to include both parents, not his in-laws.
What about A Joint Journey?
His wife suggested that they join the trip, but they realized that booking flights, hotel, and tickets for just the two of them during the same time as their daughters would still amount to nearly $5000.
“I told my wife that we have to talk to her parents & decline the trip, but my wife is saying that I’m being selfish and heartless by robbing our daughters of this experience & robbing them of a core memory with my FIL before he passes,” the husband shares.
Seeking judgment from the Reddit community, he asks, “Am I being out of line here?”
“YTA,” voted a Reddit user. “Your wife is right. I understand your disappointment in not being the first to take your kids to Disney, but these are special circumstances. Their grandfather is dying and wants to create memories with his grandchildren that will last once he is gone. It's small-minded and selfish to take that opportunity away from him and your children just so you can be the first to have the experience with them.”
“Do you think if you do this your wife and daughters won't resent you for what you are taking away from them to satisfy your own selfish need? If you do this remember someday your daughters will be adults and think about how they will look back on this and what they will think about you.”
“YTA,” agreed another voter. “Don’t take this incredibly thoughtful and meaningful gift away from your children, especially when it is a chance to create some core memories with a grandfather who doesn’t have much longer to live.”
“It would be incredibly selfish to take this away from your children, and also from your wife - this is her father who is dying and she probably wants this for your kids more than you know. Either figure out how to make this trip work, or take them again when you can afford it. It will still be a magical experience.”
“The Most Awesome Grandpa”
“YTA. I understand some people see Disney World as some sort of ‘Milestone’ in family travel but in all reality, it’s just a theme park,” argued one Redditor. “Your FIL is going to pass soon, wouldn’t you want your daughters to remember him as ‘The most awesome grandpa who took us to Disney World’ when he passes?”
“You are taking away a potential memory not only from your daughter but from your dying FIL. You should be over the moon that someone wants to pay to take your kids somewhere that expensive.”
“Your in-laws are not TA. They asked and were granted the opportunity,” another commenter argued. “I would want to be there to experience my child’s first trip to Disney too. However, you and your wife have exhibited poor judgment. She ABSOLUTELY should not have agreed to this without your input, that is not acceptable.”
“I would like to point out another issue - have they really thought this through? They’re two people of somewhat advanced age, one of whom has terminal cancer and is doing chemo, and they want to chase two insanely hyped up young children around Disney for however long?! I don’t see that ending well for them!”
“Probably unpopular opinion: ESH,” a different user voted. “You are reacting poorly. I get that this is a memory that you want to be able to make with your children and for it to be a once in a lifetime first.”
“Your wife and in-laws absolutely should not have hid this from you. Yes, he has limited time, that is not a reason to cut you out of parenting decisions.”
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Sylvia Silverstone is a passionate writer who loves to share her knowledge and expertise on a wide range of topics, including beauty, life hacks, entertainment, health, news, and money. With a keen eye for detail and a talent for storytelling, Sylvia's engaging writing style keeps readers coming back for more.