The personality: ask yourself, right at this moment, what precisely this is. You can’t do it; there’s no way. I bet the only thing you can come up with are external things – the way you dress, the music you listen to, the shoes you wear, and so on. However, if you strip yourself of each of these superficial, unessential adornments, is there anything left of this so-called personality? – No.
However, much to my surprise, it has come to my attention that an incredible link has been discovered between personality – which until now has been an absolute mystery – and your hairstyle. The hairstyle, according to various sources, has been revealed as the much coveted key to the mystery of personality.
The connection, as dumbfounding as it may appear at first glance, is apparently quite simple; a mere twenty multiple choice questions is all that is needed to reveal, once and for all, your personality in all its shivering, mistless clarity. I have just experienced this miracle myself, and am happy to share it with you:
By answering a mere few questions about whether I dye my hair, what I do in the case of a bad hair day, what my fantasy hairstyle is, how often I get my haircut, what my hair was like at my prom, what hair products I use, what hair accessories I wear, if I have piercings or tattoos, what my relationship status is, and what my “style” or the way I dress is – I discovered the secret of my personality: I am short (?) and “sassy”; I am wild, but also a “utilitarian”; I look at my life like a roller coaster ride (full of excitement and lots of changes); I can sometimes be different just for the sake of being different.
It’s simple, really! My personality is: short, sassy, wild, utilitarian, roller coaster viewing, and different for different’s sake! The secret of my personality, my inner “me”-ness, revealed once and for all by a mere six adjectives! What’s more, I discovered through these 20 miracles questions which haircut corresponds to my new-found personality: short, spiky, gelled, and a “funky” color. Finally, finally, finally, I have found myself, and the correct hairstyle which corresponds to the truly me!
But that isn’t all: I have discovered another, perhaps even more amazing knowledge that I am willing to share with you today: by changing one’s hairstyle, one can also change one’s personality. It’s hard to believe, I know, but it is true. What is a even more surprising, is that there are very few personalities – according to one source, there are only four: 1) adventurous and experimental (this one is mine, I think), 2) grounded and versatile, 3) feminine but modern, and 4) polished and sophisticated. That’s it; those are all the personalities you can have. For personality #1, think Sharon Osbourne and Sienna Miller; for #2, Sadie Frost and Madonna; #3, Gwyneth Paltrow; #4, Davina McCall.
Changing your personality then, is as simple as this: choose 1 of the 4 personalities in existence, and then take a picture of the corresponding actress/celebrity to the hair place, get the haircut, become the personality!
What is the secret to this incredible connection, you ask? Where does the hairstyle get this power to transform the personality? Are the hairstyle and the personality actually the same thing? Forget about it! You don’t have to think! You just have to choose your personality like you would choose a restaurant or a new sofa, and you have to wear it on your head!
Enough of the irony now: these “personality” quizzes are completely stupid. If personality is something that can be changed, can be taken on and off like a pair of pants, then I don’t want one. It doesn’t matter what your hair is like, it doesn’t matter what clothes you wear, it doesn’t matter what products you buy, it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter!