A quick web search regarding the most common insecurities among women yields some interesting, and perhaps disturbing results. The most common answers, by far, all involve a woman’s appearance in one way or another (as a matter of fact, it’s difficult to even track down any other type of insecurity). The other type of insecurity which easily rears its head is the type involving insecurities in her relationship; in other words, her worries about what a man thinks of her.
Women's Most Common Types of Insecurity
The 4 main types of insecurities are:
- Physical appearance
- Stability in a relationship with a man
- The only other insecurity that pops up, just barely on the edge of the radar, is the insecurity about money and career.
- There are only rare mentions about insecurities regarding a woman’s intellectual or creative life.
List of Female Physical Insecurities
First of all, let’s take a quick run through the list of insecurities regarding physical appearance (but be warned: if you do not like what you are about to read, just remember that I am only summarizing what, according to the Internet, are the top insecurities of women and why):
- Sexuality: By far the most commonly listed insecurity. Women, apparently, want most of all to be sexually desirable and are constantly measuring their own sexual desirability against that of other women.
- Age: Women also are insecure about their age. They want to look young, are jealous of other women, and are constantly trying to find the right foods and products which will fight the aging process. An interesting observation, on the side, would be to do a web search on “anti-aging” and looking at all the sites that offer gleaming anti-aging miracles to these apparently insecure women.
- Weight: The next most obvious insecurity women have regards their weight. Women always want to be skinnier; or, no matter how gorgeous they are they always believe that they are overweight; they are constantly looking for the newest fad diet of watermelon only, or high protein low starch, or nothing but raisins and kippers on Tuesdays and Sunday evenings; and so on and so on.
- Hair color: Women are apparently also insecure about their hair color; perhaps they all want to be blondes. Blondes do, after all, have more fun, and blondes are more desirable to men, right? Additionally, blonde hair usually means you are dumb and looking dumb means looking sexier. Perhaps even it is instinctual for men to want women with light hair; in the animal kingdom, the male always prefers the lighter hair female because it’s a sign of health; natural selection.
- Eye color: Women also, apparently, are insecure about their eye color. Blue eyes, that ever-companion to blonde hair, is apparently the most desirable color in the eye world. Gray, green, and hazel, are apparently next up in the hierarchy of eye desirability. Brown eyes are the worst, probably, because they are the most common.
- Height: Having an ideal height is also apparently a problem for women. Most women seem to want to be taller, and complain of only being in the low 5’s; 5’ 1’’ to 5’ 5’’ is apparently not tall enough. Think about those tall, long-legged fashion models that apparently all women want to emulate. There is a point, of course though, where a woman becomes too tall – somewhere around 5’ 10” is the limit. Any taller than that, and they might challenge the superiority of men.
- Breast size: Finally, the one you’ve all been waiting for: women want to have bigger breasts. Women apparently see celebrities with large breasts and want to have large breasts too. Women become insecure when their jerk boyfriends make jokes about them being flat as a board. All men apparently are attracted to large breasts, and all women apparently want all men to be attracted to them. Biologically breasts speak of fertility or baby nurturing so big breast desirability is evolutionary.
Now, I sincerely hope that any woman reading this list of their apparent insecurities is really angry right now.
I honestly cannot believe that even nowadays this is the picture of women that is being suggested by their insecurities. The above would suggest that women are all worried about looking like celebrities and models; want nothing more than to be desired sexually by men; and finally that this is all well and good because it’s based on evolution. True, insecure women are often very hard on themselves.
If you’re mad now, though, the next few insecurities women apparently have regarding dating are going to make you even madder.
Dating and relationship insecurities
The next most commonly listed female insecurities are about dating:
- He will not call me back: A woman, when in a new relationship, is apparently always intent on having the man call her back, and must be reassured by the man that he will in fact call her in order to soothe her anxiety.
- He just want to sleep with me: A woman in a new relationship is also constantly worrying that the man is only interested in her for sex – because she is also insecure about whether or not there is anything interesting or desirable about her besides her body- and must once again be reassured by the man that he likes her personality, that she makes excellent muffins, etc.
- He's dating other women: A woman is constantly suspicious that her man is cheating on her – because despite the fact that her man has constantly reassured her about the quality of her personality and her muffins, she is still unsure of herself, and also believes that all men are pigs and will sleep with anything that moves.
- He's not attracted to me anymore: Despite the fact that women must always be reassured by men that they are desirable for reasons other than their body, they must also be reassured by men that they are also desirable for their body. Women require physical attention, and reassuring words from men in order to feel secure in their physical desirability.
It would seem from the points above that there is just no pleasing women, that you can’t live with them, you can’t blah blah blah.
Oh, women! These points about dating women, about how to reassure them that they are sexy but not only sexy and on the whole that they are wanted by men, were obviously written by men. They are basically tips for men on how to calm the insecure and frivolous creature called woman; feel free to stop at this point to spit if you like.
The insecurities above, sadly, are those which are by far most frequently listed; and as I said, there are very few others that make any appearance at all.
Money and Career Insecurities
The following two insecurities do make a very small appearance (more of a walk-on than a speaking role):
- Money: A few women are, apparently, insecure about how much money they make. Obviously, like anyone else, they believe that making more money means that they are a better person.
- Career: A few women are also apparently concerned about their jobs; either that they simply don’t have a job, that they would like to have a better or more commonly respected job; or, they already have a good career but are insecure about their status in the company, their ability to climb the ladder, their male competition, etc.
In these last two, finally, we are no longer insulting women, and are placing them on an equal footing with men right?
Wrong. It’s true that men are also insecure about money and their careers (and actually, it is true that they are insecure about all of the other things listed above as well), but this isn’t enough to say that these last two insecurities are no longer insulting.
The statuses associated with how much money you make, and how respected your career is, are illusions, every bit as much as the long-legged blonde turquoise-eyed model/celebrity described above.
Creative and Intellectual Insecurity
The following two things are rarely mentioned which, certainly, some women are insecure about:
- Creative life: Certainly women are also insecure about the quality of their work as an artist, photographer, filmmaker, writer, or architect.
- Intellectual life: Certainly women are also insecure about their level of understanding of various esoteric intellectual matters such as math, physics, philosophy, economics, or critical social theory.
Without question women are insecure about the reception of their paintings, or of their newest novel; without question, they are insecure about their intellectual grasp of the notion of the Big Other, or the Preface to the Phenomenology of Spirit.
Why then, does a web search on this issue suggest that women care only about their bodies and about pleasing men? You should be angry, or, you should submit more content on the internet about what real women are really concerned about if only to try to beat back all of the meaningless spam about breast size and so on.
What are your biggest or most common insecurities? Share your thoughts in the comments and let's talk about this.
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