Is My Boyfriend Cheating? 35 Tell-Tale Signs

If he's been acting suspiciously weird recently, and there's a voice at the back of your head asking "is my boyfriend cheating", chances are you may be just right.

A cheating boyfriend is every woman's worst nightmare. Fortunately, there are a lot of indications of a cheating boyfriend. Some can be utterly obvious, while others can be too difficult to recognize.

You probably think it's just a hunch, but most of the time, people don't get worried about something for no reason. Call it women's intuition or common sense, but one thing is for sure, all signs point to him being unfaithful.

Related: Why do I keep having dreams about my boyfriend cheating on me

Cheating men can become so creative and resourceful when trying to cover up their devious tracks.

So how can you tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you? Is your boyfriend showing suspicious signs that he is having an affair behind your back? Do all signs lead to him cheating on you?

Signs Your Boyfriend is Cheating on You

Look out for the following signs to find out if your boyfriend is cheating on you.

1. He hasn't added you, or he removed you from his social media friends list

Are you friends with your boyfriend in his social media accounts, or does he keep on refusing to add you at all? A cheating boyfriend will never give you a valid reason why he doesn't want to show you his Facebook account.

You have to be vigilant if you still get automatically updated with his online activities. If you haven't seen any of his posts despite him being active all the time, you might want to check if you're still on his friends/ followers list.

2. He wrongly accuses you of cheating

Does your boyfriend constantly hound accusatory questions and allegations that you are cheating? Your boyfriend may just be making cheating accusations in an attempt to distract you from the truth that he is being the unfaithful one.

Related: Why do guys cheat early in a relationship

3. He gets irritated most of the time

Annoyance can be a typical reaction at stressful times, but if your partner makes it a habit to get irritated at you all the time, even at the slightest mishaps, it could be a sign that he is having a secret affair. ,

Anger is a typical sign of guilt. If your boyfriend's annoyance at you is uncalled for most of the time, he might just be triggered by his guilt from cheating on you.

4. You're not allowed to access his phone or social media accounts anymore

If you used to be able to have access to his phone, but you noticed that he never leaves his phone unattended anymore, or has totally locked you out of all his social media accounts, it's logical to assume that there's something that he doesn't want you to see.

While everyone is entitled to keep some things to themselves, allowing your significant other to have access to your phone or social media accounts is a way to ensure your faithfulness to the relationship.

5. Your intuition tells you he's having an affair

Most would say that a woman's intuition is seldom wrong, and most of the time, they're not. It's not something extraordinary. In fact, women are just more receptive than men when it comes to observing a person's facial expressions and body language.

But it's best not to just leave things to intuition. If you begin to feel more and more suspicious of his actions, you should put your detective mode on and conduct a personal investigation yourself. Your hunch might just be right, and he may actually be cheating.

6. He refuses to let his friends know about you

If it's been a while since you started dating, he should have introduced you already to one of his friends. Introducing you to the people he values the most means that he is serious about you. And you're right to be concerned if he hasn't.

So, why hasn't he introduced you to his friends yet when he should be proud of the relationship? A probable reason is that he may be dating you on the side while already in a committed relationship with someone else.

7. He keeps his locations secret

A sure indicator that something shady is happening behind your back is if your partner doesn't disclose his current location to you. This is especially if the two of you used to be very keen on sharing each other's location.

If you find out he suddenly turns his phone locator off, and when you ask him, he isn't entirely open on where he's at or had been, chances are he may be hiding something from you– a secret affair, maybe?

8. He hangs out with the boys more

A healthy relationship allows for time to be spent alone together and a time to hang out with friends. However, if he kept 'hanging out with the boys' more than usual, he might just be onto something shady.

If he keeps on saying he's going to have a 'boys night out' more often than usual, you can check for yourself if it's true. You can either check with his friends or tail him (*detective mode on*) to see if he's telling the truth or if he's just out with another woman.

9. He doesn't give you his full attention when you're together

Do you notice him having divided attention whenever you're trying to tell him anything? And does it feel like his actions say that there's someplace he'd rather be than with you?

Maybe the reason why he isn't giving you his full attention is that there's something or someone else he's so busy thinking about.

10. He's not keen on sharing anymore

He used to share the most random conversations he had with other people whenever he came home from work or a funny video he found on the Internet, but now he just seems like a total stranger who keeps everything to himself.

If this is something you've noticed recently, along with similar observations, then something is definitely up. Somehow, he isn't keen on trying to connect with you at all. You're better off with someone who truly values you.

11. He emotionally distances himself from you

You don't need any sign to tell if he's being emotionally distant with you because you just know. If he's holding back on sharing personal stuff and he keeps your conversations casual and shallow, he may be cheating on you.

He'd often react defensive and dismissive if you try to ask him personal questions. Somehow, it just feels like he's purposely locked you out of the door, and it can't be helped to assume that maybe he's opening up to someone else now.

12. He's no longer passionate in bed

Is there something different in the way he kisses or caresses you? Or worse, when's the last time you had sex? If you're unsure about the answer, then it's definitely so long ago since you two last did it. If this is the case, do check if he's still faithful to you.

Naturally, men need sex, and if he's not doing it with you, he may just be doing it with another woman. If making love to you doesn't interest him anymore, he may be getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

13. He keeps an extra phone

Now beware of a guy who keeps an extra phone ladies, he may just be using a burner phone to communicate with his side chick behind your back. While keeping an extra phone can really come in handy in emergency situations, check what he really uses it for.

If you notice him using it to send a text message or call someone instead of using his normal phone, best see who he's actually communicating with because it just might be his other woman.

14. Your family and friends start to ask about your relationship

You know something's really going on if your family and friends start to notice and ask about it. You may just be oblivious to something shady going on, but queries from people outside your relationship can give you the real hindsight.

Asking if the relationship is experiencing a rough patch lately can be just an innocent question, but they can also be implying something you haven't noticed yet.

15. He tells you made up stories or ridiculous excuses

A typical liar and cheat will never get tired of making up stories and excuses just to keep his affair going, but you'll eventually notice that things just don't add up.

It won't be easy to spot his lies, especially if his quick retort is being defensive about it. But in time, he will find himself lost in his own lies, and by then, you won't be the one losing sleep anymore.

16. He doesn't invite you to events anymore

Another telltale sign of a cheating man is that he no longer brings you with him to events that you used to attend together.
Be it a work-related event or a family event, a faithful man won't have any reservations about bringing the woman he loves to accompany him unless he's a good reason for it.

He could also be cheating by pretending to be a single man because he is not seen with a woman at any of the events he is at.

17. He spends money from your joint accounts behind your back

Have you checked your joint accounts recently? Did you notice any suspicious spending without your knowledge? If you did, then he might be using your money to fund his affair.

Check for receipts– it can definitely prove whether he's been faithful all along or if he had already spent money on dates and gifts for his other woman.

18. He's being secretive about his spending

If the bank statement shows he has spent quite a lot of money lately, but you don't have any idea what he's spending it for, then he's definitely cheating. If not by spending money on his secret affair, then definitely by keeping financial activities to himself.

Guys would normally ask their girlfriends first before purchasing anything cheap or expensive. You can tell that he's being unfaithful to you if he isn't transparent with his spending anymore.

19. He no longer seems eager to have a future with you

Whenever you try to talk about your future together, he'd immediately dismiss the thought and even try to ask, "what would you do if we broke up?". If he follows up that he just asked out of curiosity, ditch him. He's definitely cheating, if not thinking of it.

If this is the case time and time again, ask him what he's trying to imply, or better yet, end the relationship with him already because you deserve to be with someone who is decided to have a future with you.

20. He doesn't want to attend social or family events with you anymore

If your man has been skipping out on attending family or social events for no reason, it's most probably because he's cheating on you.

He'd try to avoid family members or friends who know him more than you do because they'll surely be able to tell that he's doing something behind your back.

21. He tells you he's no longer happy with you

If your boyfriend had the audacity to tell you that you're no longer fun or that he's no longer happy with you, best pack your bags and go. Telling you, he's no longer happy with you is another way of saying he's cheating on you with someone who's more fun.

Queen, don't you even try and feel bad for yourself, cause girl, you deserve a man who doesn't cheat on you just because he's not happy anymore. You're certainly not in the relationship for his entertainment.

22. He's always quick to point out your flaws

He's allowed to correct you if you're wrong, but if he's always quick to point out your faults and flaws without any logical reason, he might be just trying to find an easy way out of the relationship.

Even if he's cheating or not, you shouldn't stay in a relationship with an unforgiving and arrogant dude who only sees your flaws because there's no remedy for that at all.

23. You find clues that he's seeing other girls

How to spot a cheater? Check his things; look for hair strands, lipstick stains on his collar, or women's perfume scent in his shirt. These are the basic things to look out for if you want to find out if your man is seeing other women.

While you still ought to give him a chance to explain, be wary of his words because he might just be trying to cover up his secret affair.

24. He rarely sleeps at home and always works late

Perhaps, you've seen a lot of movies where the cheating husband makes an excuse saying he needs to work late, when in truth, he's just out with his secretary.

If your man always needs to work late, but you're feeling uneasy about it, best check the whole truth. While some men can be workaholics, others are keener to mix business with pleasure deviously.

25. He's trying out a different scent

Men tend to change their scent to impress the woman they love. If you've not made any remarks about a necessary change of scent, you should be cautious on why he started wearing new cologne out of the blue?

26. He's more conscious about his appearance

Observe if your man recently bought new clothes or accessories, or if he's more conscious about his appearance than he used to be before. People care less about how they look once they feel like they are in a secure relationship.

If your boyfriend started acting strange and obsessed about trying to look good, like there's a need to impress someone other than you, then he may be cheating on you.

27. He had a change of preferences

Along with the change of scent and look, an unfaithful man would suddenly have a change of preferences or favorites, be it in music, movie genres, or a hobby.

Your man may be trying to impress someone else by trying to be into stuff that he seems so ignorant about before.

28. He isn't as fond of you as he was before

Before, he told you he loves your weird and quirky sense of humor, but now he's acting so displeased by it. If he isn't as affectionate about the things he used to love about you, one probable reason is maybe that he's cheating on you.

29. You notice he tries hard to be more attentive to you

Aside from showering you with gifts, a guilty cheating boyfriend will try his best to make you feel like he's being more attentive to your needs. It will be so easy to spot if he's not been this attentive to you before.

He does it in hopes of either genuinely compensating for his cheating behavior or dealing the guilt of cheating on you by attending to your needs while also attending to his side chick.

30. He now sleeps in a separate bed

While agreeing to sleep together or in separate beds can be different across couples in the name of a good night's rest, if your partner suddenly prefers sleeping alone when the two of you used to sleep together before, he may be having an affair.

Maybe he can't sleep with you because of the guilt, or maybe because he no longer finds it comforting. Whatever it is, there's a serious reason for this change of preferences. There's a strong probability he's been having an affair with someone else.

31. He'd feel bad if you do him a favor

A man acting out of guilt would feel bad if someone's done nice things for him. He knows he doesn't deserve such kind treatment after what he's done.

If your man often refuses your generous offers or no longer asks you for favors which can seem so unlike him, then best to ask him what he's feeling bad for because it may be because he just cheated on you.

32. He showers you with so many gifts

An easy way to spot a cheat is if he's trying so hard to compensate by showering you with so many gifts. And even out of the cheating context, a guy who buys you a lot of gifts is a walking red flag.

Drowning you in gifts to prove his love and commitment to you can be an attempt to make up for the guilt or really just a ploy to keep you believing you're the only one he's in a relationship with.

33. He becomes overly defensive and sensitive

Being overly defensive is a typical sign of guilt. If your man would often lash out and become too defensive when you ask simple questions, it means he's hiding something.

Although you have to consider if things had just been too stressful on his end. If he has no logical reason to be so explosive, then he might be hiding a secret affair.

34. He can't stop talking about this particular person

Whenever he talks to you, he always mentions a particular name in every single conversation more often than normal. He may not be cheating yet, but he may be thinking about it.

35. He takes showers more often than usual

Taking a shower isn't a crime, but doing it more often than he usually does can really be suspicious. Did he suddenly turn into a germaphobe, or is he just taking tons of showers to cover up the scent of another woman?

What to do if your boyfriend cheats on you

Finding out that your significant other is having a secret affair can be such a traumatic experience for most people.. Before deciding to talk to your boyfriend about it, make sure that you have taken all the time you need to process all of your emotions.

Heartbreak is never an easy thing to deal with. Always prioritize your personal well-being first and never feel the need to rush to any decisions yet.

Now, if you're ready to deal with your cheating boyfriend and decide what happens next in the relationship, here are some tips.

Here are some of the ways how to deal with a cheating boyfriend.

1. Plan on what you want to tell him before actually facing him

The first step in dealing with a cheating boyfriend is to confront him. But before you do you have to pull yourself together.

Confronting him face-to-face without enough preparation can increase the chances of you being too consumed by unwanted emotions. Having recently discovered that you have just been cheated on, you're in a very vulnerable state.

Try writing down all of the things you want to tell him. Journaling can really be a big help in processing all of the pain and disappointment. You can also try practicing everything you have to say in front of a mirror or sharing it to a close friend.

2. Only have the talk with him if you feel like you're fully ready

Moving on from the shock of discovering your partner is cheating doesn't have a deadline. Whether you decide to talk to him next week or next year, it's your choice. Each one of us has our own timeline when it comes to processing pain and grief.

If you feel like the time is right, ask him to meet you at a place that doesn't have any sentimental value to your relationship. You need to be able to focus properly on confronting him about his cheating without having to break down in front of him.

3. If you haven't caught him in the act, ask him if he has really cheated on you

Constructively comment on why you're suspicious that he is cheating, especially if you never caught him in the act. Ask him directly, thoroughly explain why you think he's cheating, and keep the conversation from beating around the bush.

Ask him why he's being so emotionally distant lately or about the dinner date receipt you saw in the pocket of his jeans. Bring every suspicion and proof to his attention, so he's well aware of where you're coming from.

4. Express how his actions made you feel

If he confesses to having cheated on you, don't hold back on expressing how his selfish action affected you mentally and emotionally. Bear in mind that the reason you're saying all these is that you just can't hold the sadness in because of his betrayal.

If he refuses to listen to your venting, you can just write everything you feel through a letter and send it to him. Admitting how much you've been hurt is not a sign of weakness. It is the first step to making amends with your emotions. Express yourself so you can at least make yourself feel better.

5. Give him the chance to tell things from his perspective, but don't let him put the blame on you

You can be extra generous by giving him enough time to explain his side of the story. By giving him this chance, you'd be more enlightened on what really caused him to cheat on you. Did he really mean to hurt you?

Depending on his explanation, you can decide if he is genuinely sorry about his mistakes or trying to turn things over and blame you for why he ended up cheating in the relationship. If he does, cut him off and tell him it's not fair of him to blame you.

You're done with all the confrontation. The reality is he decided to cheat on you, and that is utterly heart-shattering. Go easy on your heart. You're entitled to as much time as you need to truly mend a broken heart.

While no one can really tell you how to deal with your broken heart, here are some ways on how you can cope with and mend a broken heart.

6. Do not deny yourself the time to grieve

Let yourself feel all the sadness and pain. The first step to mending a broken heart is acknowledging that you've been hurt a lot. Denying that it drastically affected you in any way would only prolong the grieving process.

Giving yourself enough time to grieve is an essential part of the self-care process during heartbreak. In this period, treat yourself with utmost patience and fragility.

7. Help process your emotions through healthy coping strategies

Being in a period of heartbreak can feel too overwhelming sometimes, so you have to help yourself by using good coping strategies. This is the healthiest way to channel your pent-up frustrations into productive energy.

Aside from getting back to writing down your thoughts in a journal, you can also try to focus your energy more on therapeutic self-care activities such as going for long walks or runs, doing yoga, watching your favorite shows, and more.

8. Spend more time with family and friends

After going through a cheating incident, it's best to surround yourself with people who are genuinely concerned for you. Family and friends are a great support group in this trying time. It can also help you look at things in a more positive light.

Asking your best friend to come over for a movie night or going out with your girlfriends isn't just a way to keep the sad energy away. More importantly, you get reminded that you have these amazing people with you who'll always be there through thick and thin.

9. Do not blame yourself for his actions

Eventually, you may not be able to help yourself by asking what you did wrong in the relationship that pushed him to cheat on you. However, don't stray too far into these negative streams of thoughts. And never end up blaming yourself or feeling insecure because of his actions.

His decision to cheat is his fault, not yours. Even if you may have been inattentive to his needs, he still should have communicated the problem to you, instead of getting his needs fulfilled by someone else.

10. Prioritize your mental and emotional health

Being cheated on by your significant other can take both a mental and emotional toll on you. In times of heartbreak, treat yourself to healthy self-care activities.

It can help to have a simple bucket list of all the things you want to do, especially when you feel sad. You can re-watch your favorite movies or TV shows, or get all dressed up while at home; anything that will genuinely make you feel good mentally and emotionally.

11. Do not plan to get even

Focus more on making yourself genuinely happy instead. "Getting even" is a common thought when it comes to cheating incidents. But, keep in mind that getting revenge is not healthy at all and may just end up hurting you more in the process.

It's okay to imagine the things you can do to even things out, but really, the best revenge is showing him that you're genuinely unbothered by his betrayal anymore and that you're more in love with the person you have become.

12. Moving Forward

Here are your options moving forward after your boyfriend cheated on you:

1. Give yourself enough time to decide on what you really want.

Do you want to give your relationship another chance? Or do you think there's no point in trying anymore? If you still don't have a definite answer, give yourself more time deciding.

Never be pressured to hastily decide on what you should do. If he's sincere with trying to make it up to you, he'll patiently wait and give you all the time you need to arrive at a decision.

2. Decide if you still want to be in a relationship or not.

If you no longer want to try again with him, then directly tell him that you want to officially end things with him.

Meanwhile, if you think the two of you can move past the cheating problem, then make sure that you're fully determined to give him another chance.

3. Be absolutely clear if you're breaking up with him.

Tell him directly if you have really decided to end it with him. Do not just leave a message or ask a friend to say it for you. If it's more comfortable for you, you can also disconnect from him entirely by unfollowing him or unfriending him on social media.

4. Choose to forgive him so you can free yourself of the burden of hating him.

Whether you choose to end things with him for good or give the relationship another chance, make sure to truly forgive him for his actions. Know that you're not doing it for him, but for the sake of freeing yourself of hate towards him.

5. If you choose to begin again with him, do your best to focus on the future you're building together.

Try your best day by day to look past his mistakes and focus on the bigger picture, the future you want to spend together. Work together on building trust in the relationship again, despite how hard it may be.

6. Choose to trust him again.

Choosing to continue the relationship means that you also decide to give him your trust again. You don't have to do it all at once. Little by little, restore your faith in him by openly communicating your needs and expectations with each other.

Takeaway

If you've been feeling a little suspicious and worried about the fidelity of your partner lately, it's best to not simply think of yourself just being paranoid. Your fears are valid, even if he tells you you're crazy for even suspecting him of infidelity.

IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU and is being faithful to you, he would try his best to prove there's no reason to be worried at all. A cheating man would do so otherwise. And if he does, that's the moment you get to decide to leave. No woman should ever put up with a cheater.

FAQ