Let me guess - you’re here because a guy got in your head by saying a bunch of romantic nonsense, like “he thinks about you,” but you don’t actually know how he feels about you.
We’ve all been there, trust me. Sometimes talking to a man can be a bit like listening to someone speak a different language. You have absolutely no idea what he means and absolutely no idea what he’s saying.
Here is a hint: a man would never, ever call, text, or even dare to tell female friends that “I’ve been thinking about you and just decided to tell you.” A statement like this is obviously a very powerful and meaningful feeling to express to a woman, whether verbal, in text, or in a message.
Related: When a Guy Calls You Cute
- Is he really thinking about me?
- First of all, maybe he’s genuinely thinking about you.
- He could be trying to find out how you feel about him.
- He just wants to hook up.
- He might be trying to make you fall harder.
- He might be yearning for a connection or some attention from you.
- If this is an ex, he might want to get back together with you.
- Guys don’t just say “I’m thinking of you” to any woman
- Every guy and circumstance is different
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Is he really thinking about me?
At this point, you might already be considering that he’s lying to you in a subtle attempt to get into your pants. Rest assured when I tell you that while this may be a possibility, you’re probably wrong. That’s an absolute worst-case scenario, and there are tons of other explanations.
More on this topic: How to Know if He Thinks About You
Not all men are as shallow as that, no matter how many of these men you might have encountered. I know guys can be a bit sleezy sometimes but they actually have feelings buried in there too. (As hard as they might make it to believe.) If a guy you like tells you that he thinks of you, take it as a positive sign that he likes you.
Let’s look at all the different possibilities of what it actually means when he says he is thinking about you. And for your own peace of mind, he’s probably telling the truth when he says this. It’s the “why” he’s telling you that you’ve got to watch out for!
First of all, maybe he’s genuinely thinking about you.
Have you considered that this person might actually just be thinking about you rather than the possibility that he wants something from you or is trying to get into your head?
He could just be thinking about you in as innocent a manner as any, which is actually kind of sweet if you think about it. If this is the case, it might mean he wants more than what you currently have or he just wants you to know it. Men can be romantic and nice sometimes, though I know it might be hard to believe.
I might even go as far as to say he has feelings for you, if we’re going to get ahead of ourselves! This is absolutely the best-case scenario and potentially the most likely one. Most men don’t really like to show vulnerability, so if he’s saying he’s thinking about you, he probably really is.
Remember, guys aren’t monsters! I know they can act like it sometimes but most of the damage they cause is unintentional, and truth be told, only happens because they’re not always the biggest thinkers when it comes to a woman. Nine times out of ten, when a guy says something sweet to you, he actually means it.
Here are the common signs he likes you
- When he playfully hits or touches you
- He acts like you
- He is always around
- He is constantly looking at you
- He is nervous around you
And here is a detailed guide on How to find out if a guy likes you.
He could be trying to find out how you feel about him.
I can’t say men are known for being particularly straightforward with how they feel, can I? That would be far too easy!
He might be saying he’s thinking about you to try and figure out the way you’re really feeling about him. I know, men and their mind games...You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them.
Instead of directly asking you, which he might be too afraid to do, he could be laying something down to see what you pick back up. Perhaps he wants to know how seriously you feel about him before he takes things any further and shows too much vulnerability.
Consider that the reason he’s not being straightforward with you is that he might just be afraid of getting hurt.
If he says he’s thinking about you and you reciprocate the sentiment or turn around and say something even sweeter back, he has a pretty good understanding of how you feel about him.
This allows him to find out without him having to have directly ask you. Now the balls back in his court and he can decide how to progress with your relationship from there.
If this is the case and he is trying to see how you feel about him, you can be pretty confident in the fact that he probably does genuinely have some sort of feelings for you. Wanting to know how you feel means he feels something too!
Think about it - if he were just after sex or a quick fling, he probably wouldn’t care how you feel about him. He’d just say whatever to get in your pants rather than fuss about with the drama.
Which leads us to point three...
He just wants to hook up.
There’s also the dreaded possibility that he is after that one thing and that one thing only - sex. Guys can be fickle at times and are often ruled by their libido. This can, at times, make them ditch their morals, unfortunately for us girls.
If sex is what he’s after, then you’ll find this out sooner rather than later. At the moment he’ll say and tell you everything he thinks you want to hear but he’ll drop the facade after some time. You will see the obvious signs. Either he’ll get bored or he’ll get what he wants and will move on.
If you think that this might be what he’s after, don’t automatically jump to that conclusion. You might be wrong and cause the relationship to implode or he might just end up thinking you’re crazy. Trust me, you don’t want that. Read the situation as best as you can and don’t outright confront him. Doing so could cause further issues as it could put him on the defense.
Instead, hold out and see how things progress on their own. Don’t let your guard down too quickly or else you might get hurt! Keep yourself on your toes so you can read the situation freely without letting your own emotions get in the way.
Biggest signs he just wants sex:
- You can meet him only on his terms.
- He always gets sexual.
- His compliments are all about your looks.
- He connects with you only in the evenings.
- You almost never meet during the day.
- He isn’t spending too much money on you.
- He hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends.
- You met him on Tinder.
Lastly, don’t stress yourself out with this possibility. As previously mentioned, you’ll know sooner rather than later so it’s not worth the stress lines. If he is after just sex, he’ll probably get bored quickly if he’s not getting any. He also won’t wait around if he doesn’t think it’s being put on the table soon, he’ll move onto the next poor woman. Just thank God she’s no longer you.
Related: Bold pick up lines to say to a guy
He might be trying to make you fall harder.
He could possibly be telling you sweet nothings and filling you with romantic ideas to make you swoon even harder. Compliments galore would definitely make a woman fall for a guy!
Anyway, if he really is trying to make you fall harder for him, it could be both a good and a bad thing. First of all, trying to make you fall harder could be because of the dreaded last possibility we talked about.
I know I said he’ll probably get bored if he’s not getting any sex but there are some guys out there who just love the idea of a chase. They might even get off to the idea of making you fall for them and then breaking your heart.
Thankfully not many men are like this, there’s just a bad bunch that need to hurt others to feel significant or want the confidence boost.
The flip side of this scenario is that he wants you to fall harder for him because he’s already fallen that hard for you.
Related: True signs he loves you
Queue awww’s! In this instance, he just genuinely wants you to know he’s thinking about you because it will make you feel good and he also wants you to know that he has romantic feelings towards you. Do I hear wedding bells?
Just kidding, but if you are genuinely into him and you think he’s genuinely into you, shoot your shot. This is the year of us ladies being fearless so go get what you want and get it now!
Key signs he is in love with you
- He looks at you in a special way.
- He introduces you to his friends and family.
- He treats you as if you are significant to him.
- He shows true admiration for you.
- He is always available for you.
- He is eager to impress you.
- He reveals his vulnerable side to you.
- He always listens to you.
He might be yearning for a connection or some attention from you.
People naturally need to be around others and build connections with them and feel lonely if they don’t. If this guy is feeling lonely, he might try and build a connection with you regardless of whether he has romantic feelings for you or not. Pay attention to the signs.
This means he will inevitably end up hurting you. I can’t really blame anyone for needing a bit of human connection, but more often than not, someone gets hurt when those feelings are acted on impulsively.
People are complex, and if this is the case, this person probably doesn’t even really know what he wants or that he doesn’t actually want a deeper connection with you. He might tell you he wants something long-term or that he only wants to be with you. You have to remember that he’s acting on a brief desire for attention, so what he says might not be what he truly means.
Unfortunately, if what he wants changes, what he feels will change too.
Be careful and tread with caution. He’s not going to intentionally hurt you but keep your mind and heart open to the possibility that he might.
If this is an ex, he might want to get back together with you.
This one is super situation-specific, so you’re going to have to do most of the figuring out on your own.
Related: Does my ex miss me - Signs
Here’s the best advice I can give you, though:
Just think back to how things ended between the two of you. Was it on good or bad terms? Why did the two of you call it quits in the first place? Do you even want to get back together with him? If so, is the relationship even redeemable?
Is he a special person in your life? Do you see any obvious signs of him changing?
These are just a few of many important questions you’re going to have to ask yourself.
People usually break up for a good reason but this doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship isn’t saveable in the future. If this is something you want too, it is the perfect time to have that conversation with him. The decision is yours.
Be cautious that if this is an ex and the two of you ended on bad terms. If he says he’s thinking about you all the time, that may be a sign that he’s just messing with you. He could very well just be after some familiar sex with you or he could very well be out to hurt you for revenge.
Again, evaluate your own situation and consider which possibility seems the most plausible. There must be an obvious sign, pay attention!
Strong signs you ex miss you and want to get back together
- He comes up with silly reasons to contact you.
- He’d like to meet and “catch up.”
- You can spot him everywhere you go.
- When you meet or talk to other guys, he becomes jealous.
- He attempts to make you envious.
- He is feeling nostalgic. He tells you that he misses you.
- When he’s drunk, he calls or texts you.
Related: How to Make Him Miss You Psychology
Guys don’t just say “I’m thinking of you” to any woman
Guys don’t tell every woman out there that they miss them. Especially not people they’re just looking to be friends with. So whatever the reason he’s saying it to you, he’s looking for something a bit more than just friendship. You can bet he’s either looking for a romantic connection or some sort of sexual relationship.
The best thing you can do in this situation is just talk to him to find out what you both want and to see whether your desires line up.
Don’t be scared to come across as needy or worry that you might push him away. By approaching the conversation with maturity and honesty, you’re totally entitled to ask what he wants from you. If a guy is genuinely worth the time of day, he won’t be scared off by the possibility of commitment or the mere thought of communication.
Men love a happy woman, and they relish the opportunity to be the source of a woman’s happiness.
Every guy and circumstance is different
This is just general advice because every situation and every guy is different. I can’t speak for everyone so I’m just going off of my own experience.
You need to evaluate your own current relationship with him before you can find out what he means. Read the circumstance of how he said it. Did he see something that made him think of you? Did he wake up thinking about you? The context behind how he said it is important because it will help you deduce what he really means.
Talk to him and see how he feels. You shouldn’t be afraid to be direct with a guy - you have your own needs that deserve to be met! Before you speak to him though, make a decision specifically what you want out of the situation. Do you want romance, friendship, or just sex? Decide which before you take action.
Whoever this person is, he deserves honesty and transparency as much as you do. You’re just as capable of hurting him as he is of you, depending on the situation. However you approach the situation, good luck, and remember that you deserve to get exactly what you want! If he’s not game, somebody else will be.
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Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.