Before we dive into how to trigger the hero instinct in your man, first, it's important that you understand what the hero instinct really is.
What is the Hero Instinct
Hero instinct is a common statement nowadays since James Bauer first introduced it in his famous dating book His Secret Obsession.
The hero instinct is a driving force in human beings to help others and make the world a better place. In short, the hero instincts in men are deeds or ways that help to bring out the masculinity and ego in them. It's the men's need to feel needed.
Every man wants to be a hero. They want to save a "damsel in distress", and they want their woman's eyes shining with admiration as she sees them do it.
This trait has been passed from generation to generation, and it's not hard to see why this innate drive exists. If our ancestors were incapable of rescuing the females, they died out early on because there would have been no offspring as males without this "hero instinct" wouldn't be around to procreate.
Men love their egos. It's in their nature. We all know this, but it seems that the world continues to forget how important a man feels when he is needed, or his masculinity is wanted and celebrated.
So, as a woman, if you want your man to be the best man that he could be, you have to find ways of honoring his hero instincts. Let him be your hero!
This could be due to how you interact with him or how you show him being in your life is so important. Men love their egos being rubbed and women who bring out their masculine side.
If you want your man to love and be there for you all the time, you need to understand him so you can determine ways of triggering his hero instinct.
As a result of his best-selling book, 'The Hero Instinct', James Bauer has risen to one of the world’s leading experts in relationships.
How to trigger a man's hero instinct
Here are the top tips for activating your man's hero instinct:
Ask for help
Although men love independent women; who have their lives figured out and can do a lot for themselves, they also need women who need and show that they need them in their lives. A man feels superior and masculine when a woman calls him for help, regardless of how small it is. It makes him feel like a leader and of great use in your life. So, the next time your car breaks or you suspect it has an issue, don't hesitate to call your man for help.
He is not a mechanic, yes, but his little technical knowledge about cars can go a long way in helping you. If he cannot solve the problem, don't be in a rush to tell him:" let me call my mechanic for help" no, this may rub him the wrong way and think you see him as if he has no ideas. Instead, ask him what you should do, and if he knows someone, he trusts that you can solve the problem with your car.
Do you have an issue with your bulb or pipe in the bathroom? Call him and ask if he could come and help fix it. The help you ask for from your man does not have to be financially or emotionally based.
Everyone likes being appreciated for what we do for others. It acts as a motivation to do more incredible things and makes us see the impacts we have made in others' lives. So, no matter what your man does for you, show him and tell him how much it meant to you. Please don't wait for him to do great things such as buying your house, sponsoring your tuition or paying your rent to show him you appreciate.
Small gestures like buying you a bouquet or coming to see you when you are sick are enough. Showing him how much you appreciate whatever he does help him understand you value his efforts and what he does for you.
Uplift him and boost his confidence
The worst thing you could do to a man is looking down on him or belittle him, especially in front of his friends or other people. Men are pretty sensitive about how the public views them. So, if you try to show the weak side to other people or tell him that, it will crush his ego and self-esteem. Besides, it is women's job to uplift and motivate their men to be better men in society.
So, even if you see a weakness in your man, don't bring it up in a way that shows he is not a man or he is a loser. For example, if your man failed to secure a tender that he had been preparing for, don't tell him he failed because he was not good enough or was not qualified for the job. Encourage him and tell him to wait for his term since that deal was not meant for him.
You can also encourage him to apply for other tenders and try out because his luck could be in other fields. Giving him such encouraging ideas helps him feel you see his efforts and do great in life. Another thing is don't be the one to bring down your man in front of his friends. Always show a positive side of him when around other people, and let him know he is the best.
Let him know he makes you happy
Imagine dating someone for a long time and not telling you how happy they are with you? This definitely will crush you and make you feel like you are not good enough. Most men may have a hard time asking their women if they make them happy and prefer showing them. For example, your man may be the kind of guy who likes to surprise you by asking you for dinner dates, vacations or buying you gifts and so on.
Men do all these things and more as a way of making their women happy and wanting them to know that they are willing to do anything or go the extra mile to see them smile and content. Therefore, the least a woman can do to assure the man that he is a hero in her life and is the best she has ever had is by showing and telling him how happy he makes her. You should regularly tell your man how much more comfortable you are now that you have him.
If you argue, text or call him and initiate a reunion if the misconception was not primary or did not wrong you intentionally. Tell him how much you miss having him around and how much you are lonely when the two of you are not in good times.
Let your man be
Another thing to do to trigger your man's heroic instincts is to allow him to step out of his plate. Men love their freedom to do the things that they enjoy doing. If a man is in a relationship, he will need a woman who understands that they both have other relationships outside of their actual relationship, and she should respect him. Every man needs peace of mind and a woman who is respectful and submissive to an extent.
By submissive, we don't mean you should be or act like his doormat! No, learn to listen to him and reason with him where necessary. Give your man his space and let him know that you understand he is the man in the relationship, and you respect that. If he enjoys soccer, going hiking with his boys or date night out with his friends, don't nag him or keep tabs on every move he makes.
This will always give him self-doubt so that he feels you don't believe in his decision making. Give your man his peace of mind, and he will give you heaven on earth.
Celebrate his wins
Even if they seem like small wins to him, be the one to show him he is doing well and winning great in life. This brings out the ego and heroic feeling in a man as it shows you notice he is working on himself. If he got a sponsorship to further studies related to his career by his company, send him a congratulatory letter to appreciate his hard work. You can also ask to take him on a particular date to celebrate that milestone he has made in life.
Support him while around his peers
If you want your man's hero instincts to be triggered, validate him when you are around his peers. They don't know how he is far from how they relate to him. Therefore, revealing a part of him that shows he is a hero in your life and how great he is will boost his ego. So, whenever you are around his friends, ensure to treat your man with respect and compliment him too. If his friends tease him and say he is not a serious guy, be the one to shut them down by expressing how a great man is, and he cannot compare to any.
How about you challenge him?
Heroes love challenges so they can show their heroic side and prove people wrong. So, has your man complained about weight gain? You can challenge him to lose a few pounds within a given time, and rest assured he will gladly take up the challenge to prove to you he can achieve the weight loss goal.
These are the top best ways that, as a woman, you can trigger the hero instincts in your man. Showing your man that he is the only one and a crucial part of your life will help boost his ego and masculinity. Understand what makes your man happy and what he does not like.
If he needs space, give it to him and do not nag him about small things that do not make sense in your relationship. Above all that, let the man be the leader in your relationship and treat him with kindness and respect. All these will lead to a long term and smoother relationship between you two.
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Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.