Whether you're here to learn how to make him miss you, get him back after a breakup, or make him love you, you've come to the right place!
Does he miss me after the break up? <-- find out here
Let's say you follow all my advice and your man will miss you.
Do you think he's will come back to you right away? Is it enough for a man to miss you? Because unfortunately, the answer to these questions is no.
Don't get me wrong. If you want to win your man back, it's important to make him miss you. But just that alone won't be enough. You need to understand the psychology behind making a man miss you.
Think of it as a puzzle. To get your man back, make him miss you, or fall in love, you have to put each piece of the puzzle in the right place.
By making him miss you, you are only putting one piece in its place. That's why it's important to take every piece of advice I give you to heart, follow it, and act consistently.
If you follow this strategy, you will be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together in the end.
The "Make Him Miss You" Strategy
I summarized the strategy in four main points:
- No Contact Rule
- Social media tactics
- The "Frank Sinatra" effect
- Jealousy tactics
1. The No Contact Rule
Applying the No Contact Rule is undoubtedly one of the most successful strategies to make him miss you.
As they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." How true!
Not too long ago I did a study on whether there was a correlation between people successfully getting back their love and successfully applying the No Contact Rule.
Based on the results, the No Contact Rule contributed to 74% of the success stories, but I think that number is even higher because a lot of the feedback I got didn't reveal every detail.
So we already know the No Contact Rule is vital, but we don't know exactly how it makes him miss you.
What Is The No Contact Rule
It's a waiting game. You can't contact your guy, send him messages, or communicate via Facebook, email, or any other social media for a certain period of time. If he wants to contact you during this period, you can't react.
The No contact period has three main goals:
- You have the opportunity to calm down emotionally.
- You have the opportunity to gain self-awareness and increase your self-confidence.
- It increases the chances of your guy miss you.
Sounds simple, doesn't it? Well, honestly, it's not.
Following the No Contact Rule is one of the hardest things in the world, but if you learn to apply it properly, you can really make him longing for you again.
Time beautifies memories
The biggest mistake people make after a break up is begging. They're begging for a second chance, which is not only pitiful but terribly annoying.
Just put yourself in his shoes. Would you be happy to be harassed all the time? Would you find it attractive if someone begged you to take it back while you don't even feel anything towards him? If someone wanted to make you do things you didn't want to do?
I have a feeling you don't. And why do we even have to talk about this now? Because you can't miss something you see every day.
Let's say you have a favorite movie. You love the story, it makes you feel good, you like the emotions it awakens in you. It's so good that you've seen it more than once, and you feel like you'll never get tired of it.
However, you only think about it say twice a year. Then you'll remember it, and you'll miss it, because you haven't seen it in a long time.
But let's say you want to watch it every day. Do you think you'd be bored to death on the last day? There's a good chance that not only will your favorite movie get annoying, but maybe you'll hate it even more.
By not giving him time to miss you, you're playing almost every chance you have. Remember, time makes memories beautiful. Also, men tend to lose interest in women who always easily available for them.
Give him some space. Men like their space for a while, but they will miss you if you are not around. It's also a good chance for a little girl time.
Related: Turn On Tips
The No Contact Rule makes you more attractive
Have you ever heard the saying that people always want what they can't have?
Men always want what they think belongs to them. Taking something away from them ( e.g. becoming unavailable to them) only motivates them to try to get it.
In the world of relationship psychology, we call this reactance. An American psychologist named Jack Brehm invented the concept in 1966. According to him, people have a range of "free behaviors", from which they can choose whatever they want.
Free behaviors are varying in importance, as some serve for our survival and therefore of critical importance. This freedom helps the individual to create his identity. Threatening this freedom leads to illicit behavior becoming much more attractive to the individual.
So if you're applying the No Contact Rule, you're signaling that he can't reach you or talk to you. You deny him his freedom to be with you.
If we base it on psychological resistance theory, it will give him the belief that he wants to get what he was banned from. Just give him the space to miss you, and he definitely will.
Leave him craving for more! Make him feel like you are the catch!
And that brings us to another theory that I really like to use.
My theory is: the more a woman makes the man wait, and the harder he's going to have to work to get the woman, the more he'll appreciate it when they're together. Men love to work hard for a thriving relationship. And what else would our goal be if not to have a long-lasting, strong, and happy relationship?
The No Contact Rule gives you the perfect opportunity for your guy to make a serious effort to get in touch!
2. Social media tactics
Now let's take it to the next level with social media tactics. Social media offers an excellent opportunity to make him miss you even more.
It's no secret that we all like to linger on profiles of people we're interested in, and that's more true for an ex-boyfriend. There's a very good chance that we'll look at our ex-partner's profile from time to time, even if we initiated the break up.
And if that's true, then why wouldn't we be prepared for this?
Let's use all the interfaces at our disposal creatively to show that we still have the values (or even more) he found attractive once!
I will show you how to do all of this correctly so he won't be able to get you out of his head when he sees your new photos!
Related: How To Find Out if He Likes You
How to perfect your social media profile
I'm sure your man follows you on some social media platform, so it's important to display photos of you that are eye-catching. After all, men are more visual than women.
Here are the two best ways to pique his interest on social media:
- Changing your profile picture
- "I'm so happy" pictures
The profile picture change
Find a picture of yourself (or get it done!) where you look like you've just come from a beauty magazine. Yes, that means you're going to have to hire a professional photographer.
It may get you out of your comfort zone but believe me; it will be great for you! Not only because you're making an eye-catching, beautiful photo, but also because it can boost your confidence in the process.
Let's make his heart jump when he sees your new photo. Let's make him realize that you were his ideal girl all along.
The "I'm so happy" picture
I have a question for you: what do you think your ex boyfriend thinks about how you handle a break up? He probably thinks you're like every woman staring at yourself in self-pity and depression while you're stuffing yourself with sweets all day.
Now imagine him going on Facebook and running into a picture of you looking liberated and happy. He may be happy that you're not suffering, but he's almost guaranteed to find it strange...
He will be wondering about why you feel so good, or why can't he be there with you.
How can you achieve all this in practice? Quite simply, just upload a photo of yourself where you're clearly having fun and feeling happy.
As soon as he sees this, it's guaranteed that a thousand thoughts will run through his mind, and he'll start questioning the whole relationship. Maybe he will miss you instantly.
And that's when what's key to this tactical move happens; jealousy. Because I'm sure he'll attribute your happiness to a new partner, or he'll simply feel like missing out on something good.
Anyway, the point is, you plant the seed of jealousy in him, which can grow fruitful later.
3. The Frank Sinatra Effect
One of my favorite quotes comes from Frank Sinatra:
The best revenge is massive success.
And what does that have to do with whether your guy misses you or not?
To answer that, let me tell you a story.
Since my job is my passion, it is very important for me always to be prepared and aware of relationship and love trends. What works and what doesn't.
That's why I pay attention to questions women ask me and the comments they write on my articles. And my favorites are undoubtedly the success stories!
Not just because I'm happy for them, but because I can learn a lot from them.
One of the biggest lessons was that often those who got over their guy and continued to live their lives happily are the ones who achieved the greatest development and came back together.
It's like their love had suddenly woken up from a long dream and saw the true value in them, and he was often the one who fought for the relationship! Men love to fight for the one they love.
I can only imagine what's on your mind right now... "So you're telling me that the only way I can get him is if I just don't want him?"
Well, almost. Think back to the psychological resistance theory. By moving past the breakup and no longer looking for your ex, you're actually saying, "I'm not going to be yours. You've lost the freedom of choice because you can't choose me."
Based on our theory, your man is going to want you more than ever before. And that's where the Frank Sinatra effect comes in.
I want you to move on by not actually moving on. I want you to build yourself a life (or love life) where your ex isn't a part of it, but he's well aware of that.
Let's see how you can do all this!
Using the Frank Sinatra effect to make him miss you even more.
I particularly like this part, because everything here is under your control.
When you're working on making him miss you, or getting your man back, the first step is to accept that you don't control some things. However, you have much more control in making him miss you.
The Frank Sinatra effect tactics:
- Tactic 1 - Get in shape
- Tactic 2 - Say after me: I don't care about him!
Tactic 1 - Get in shape
Nothing is as attractive as a person who pays attention to her appearance and has high standards towards herself. Being fit is attractive.
It will make him admire you and help you be more confident in yourself and your next romantic relationship.
And how effective is this tactic?
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, a guy had a big crush on me. At that time of my life I always wanted to be with someone I couldn't have, plus he had some excess weight too, so I avoided him.
I know, I was kind of superficial...
Time passed, and a year and a half later, we ran into each other again. I admit, at first, I just walked past him because I didn't recognize him. He lost weight, dressed completely differently, and radiated confidence.
I had a friend with me, so we didn't talk for long. We quickly parted ways. My friend stared at me in shock because she couldn't understand what I didn't like about him.
I explained to her that he used to look different, and I'd definitely like to meet him now. My opinion about him instantly changed right there. I was longing after this person.
I did everything I could to set up a date, which, I admit, wasn't that hard because I knew he liked me once. We agreed to meet in a restaurant, and then we'd go for a walk.
There was only one problem with this. He didn't show up. So I was the one let down.
That's when I realized that this was probably a punishment for my earlier superficiality. Life is just like that.
Tactics 2 - Say after me: I don't care about him!
This tactic is primarily a mental attitude, a mindset. During your no-contact period (when it's also very important to have the Frank Sinatra effect on!), try not to think about your man. Focus only on things that really matter: you and your life.
One of the biggest mistakes people make during the program is that they're obsessed with thinking about their guy.
To move on (without actually moving on), you mustn't think too much about your man. Focus on what you're doing right now. Don't be afraid to be a single woman for a while.
To get the most out of the Frank Sinatra effect, you definitely need to master the following principles.
We can divide life into three significant areas:
There is a balance point where all three meet. If you can find it and master it, you'll almost certainly be irresistible and ready for a man to fall in love in you.
Men are naturally drawn to a woman who finds joy in her life.
Believe me, if you work on yourself consistently to find the balance, all the puzzle pieces will fall into place. Your love life will be amazing.
Related: Women Insecurities
Create your own unique self, be an independent woman. Men love independent women with great personality and big heart.
It's important to remember that your relationship might be over, a door is closed, and rebuilding something like that can take a long time. Don't think about anything else right now, don't push or rush anything; just focus on yourself and work on balancing your health, well-being, and relationship.
And always remember: after the breakup you have two choices: either it dominates your life, or you take control of it.
4. Jealousy Tactics
Some relationship experts say it's not a good idea to make your man jealous, but I disagree with them. If you have the opportunity to awaken deeper feelings in him, then it's definitely worth a try. It can lead the way to love.
However, you must do it the right way!
Obviously, this method won't be as effective if all you do is upload three photos on Facebook of you kissing three different people. Don't ever do that thing.
Making men jealous is an art. You have to take refined steps, but at the same time, you have to be smart to get his attention. A lot of times women choose this way but fail because of the absence of goal setting.
Let's look at a few examples of this:
Example 1 - Movie with a "friend"
Send him a message suggesting a good movie that you "saw with a friend" earlier. Don't tell him who that friend was, especially if she was a woman.
It's on his fantasy to imagine a romantic movie with a mysterious stranger or just a simple friendly getaway. I'm sure he'll be very curious. Men are just as curious as women.
Example 2 - "Was it you who I saw?"
This one is a little riskier but a surefire way to make men jealous. Write him a message asking if it was him you saw in a particular place, because if he was that guy, he looked terrific.
Basically, you're saying that you confused him for someone you found very attractive. I know, I know it's risky, but it's worth it, believe me. Men will go crazy.
More ways to make a man miss you
Here are even more ways if you really want him to miss you like crazy.
Be the one who ends the conversation
Once you've made your man wait, he'll get in touch with you sooner or later if he truly likes you. Make sure always to put down the phone first and always let him send the last text. It might be a little tricky because men tend to speak less than us, women.
The most important thing is to make your man keep missing you. Since you have finished the conversation, he will feel the need to contact you first and continue the conversation.
Find a signature fragrance that will remind him of you
Have you ever tasted a certain smell that reminded you of a person or place? This is because there is a strong relation between our senses and memory.
This is why if you want him to miss you, you should wear the same perfume every time you meet him. Next time your boyfriend smells that certain smell, you will pop into his mind.
You can also spray your perfume on your guy's belongings so he can smell it even if you're not together.
Spend time with your friends
Go and spend some time with your friends, then share your adventure with your guy. Make sure to let him know how much fun you had.
I can almost guarantee you he won't want to miss the next time when you go out with your friends. Or maybe it would make him jealous and make him realize how much he misses you.
Leave little stuff behind
If you had ever randomly found an item that belongs to a special person, you might have already experienced the memory rush it causes.
Make that happen to your boyfriend too. Leave little things like your hair clip or earrings in his bag, house, or car. He will surely remember you when he will find them.
The key to make him miss you at deeper levels
I want you to understand something. People are emotional, so superficial attention-grabbing tactics will only work for a while.
Men and women both want to experience an intimate relationship with a loved one, which requires deep trust and emotional connection.
It's not good enough to look good, you have to work consistently to earn the other's attention and trust, and once you've got that, you can think about the relationship again.
If the listed tactics worked and you are making contact, it is very important to have the most positive face-to-face meeting experience for both of you. You mustn't get too confident and think that he is ready for a relationship right away.
No, unfortunately, that's not how it works for men, and besides, right now, I want you to focus on something deeper than that.
Make your primary goal to build a deep emotional connection when you meet. Spend quality time with each other, send time to bond. Talk about interesting things, be confident, be cheerful, and most importantly, be smart about it.
You want your guy to feel like he's never got attention like this in his life before. Listen to his words, his voice, notice all his body language, and make him feel that you are genuinely present.
If you can give him such an experience, it's worth more than thousands of any other tactics because ultimately, our goal is to have a deep, balanced relationship with someone you care about!
How do you make him miss you instantly?
I recommend using the "Social media tactics" described above or "leaving little things behind" for instant results. But there are many other things you need to know if you want permanent results.
Can silence make a man miss you?
It can, totally, but it's not really going to do it on its own. Read my tips above on how to make a man miss you.
What to say to him to make him miss you?
You can make him miss you if you don't speak to him too often. Don't initiate any conversations; let him be the one to do that instead. Men love the chase. You are the catch!
How do you know if a man misses you?
If a man misses you he will try to talk to you, see you, and date you. He will ask questions and will be curious about you overall.
- Why is he ignoring me
- Signs he wants to have sex with you
- How to Turn a Guy on Over Text Without Being Obvious
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.