If you want to let your guy know that you're mad at him through text, your emotions need to come across as well as your words. For example, you can reply with short messages, or perhaps you can reply after an hour or so instead of after a minute, the way you usually do.
It is important to let him know that you're mad, so that he won't be thinking that he got away with whatever he did. You can't just let things slide, and if you're mad at him, he probably did something wrong.
However, you need to avoid sending angry text messages that would make things worse and cause more problems than it already has.
So here are some things you can do when you're mad at your guy, and you want him to know about it over text.
TEXT BACK WITH SHORT REPLIES
A cold answer like this is especially effective if you're the kind of person who writes long replies or sending loads of messages usually. So when he gets your 'okay' or 'later' text, he will definitely know right off the bat that either somethings up or something's wrong. You can even use abbreviations that show no emotions and zero interest, such as 'idk', 'nvm', etc.
However, try not to do this for long or all the time. If you do, it will lose its punch. It'll feel like a habit of yours that he can easily dismiss because you do it a lot.
You should avoid showing any sign of anger in your texts; they shouldn't look too harsh. Try to keep them simple yet direct. You don't have to write out every single thought you had while being pissed off.
TEXT BACK AFTER SOME TIME
If you're someone who typically replies within an hour, and you start giving it five or six hours before you respond, he will understand that something is definitely off.
Delayed follow-up messages work really well in letting guys know how mad you feel without making them think they have gotten away with anything. Even a patient person might get annoyed by these kinds of delayed responses from their partner.
You can even live dangerously and try to skip your regular good morning text. This way, you can let him know that you're not okay and that something is definitely wrong. All in all, a little silent treatment will work wonders if you are in a healthy relationship.
Unreturned text messages are the next level if you want to go further. It can reflect the weight of anger you feel. But don't get too carried away by it.
USE EMOJIS OR ALL CAPS TO EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS
If your short and slow replies don't quite do the trick, try to send him one emoji to let him know how you really feel. You can start with an 'eye roll' emoji or perhaps a 'sad' emoji. You can even capitalize some words in your text for emphasis.
However, always remember that your goal is not to fight with him over text. You're only letting him know that you're not okay and that you need to talk. So try not to come off too angry BY USING ALL CAPS in your text messages or by sending him the 'angry' emoji.
BE GRAMMATICAL IN YOUR REPLIES
If short, uninterested texts don't work, try to send him grammatically correct long replies complete with correct spelling and punctuation. It gives off a very distant tone, academic even.
If you don't usually do this, he will have to ask you why your replies are weird. This way, you can let him know that he did something wrong and that it made you mad, but you're going to have to table it for now and talk about it later. Be calm and rational.
THINGS YOU NEED TO DO WHEN YOU'RE MAD AT YOUR BOYFRIEND
GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO COOL OFF
It's always good to give yourself some time to work off most of the mad before you confront him. Because if you don't, you could say some harsh things that, once said, you can never take back, and you will find yourself in a broken relationship. Especially if you're felt particularly angry at the moment.
Of course, this doesn't mean that you will give yourself enough time to let it go. No. If you let things go a lot, it gives him the message that you're willing to be treated wrongly and that he's going to get no objections about his bad attitude.
Cooling off before a confrontation gives enough time to be objective instead of emotional. You can solve the issue a lot more quickly if you're thinking instead of just running on fumes. So perhaps you could just text him that you need to talk later or something. That way, he'll know that something's up. At the same time, you have enough time to gather your thoughts and arrange your argument. It's a win-win situation.
It's also not a bad idea to get some sleep before talking to your boyfriend. Your brain works better when you're well-rested. So don't stay awake late at night trying to figure out ways to fix your problems. Go to bed early and wake up refreshed.
DON'T FIGHT OVER TEXT
Try to keep it together. Never engage in a fight over text. Texting is not the best avenue for proper communication in an honest relationship. It's quick and efficient, but it's impersonal, too. If you want to fight, argue, or talk things out, do it in person. That way, you can see each other's faces, gestures, and eyes.
Fighting over text means that you're too angry and that you're too impatient to start the fight. This doesn't give you enough time to cool off or rationalize. This means you'll probably send him angry text messages you wouldn't have sent if you were thinking correctly. And it'll be a lot harder to take them back since there's a record of your conversation thread.
He could even take a screenshot to remember your fight or maybe use it as a weapon against you the next time you have an argument.
Texting is a type of modern communication, but it shouldn't replace face-to-face conversations. In fact, texting should only supplement those conversations. Don't make it the main type of communication between two people who love one another.
BE CLEAR ON WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY
Be clear about your arguments. Try not to be too emotional. Don't include his previous offenses, which you have already resolved unless they are directly connected with the most current cause of your fight.
This is why all-important talks should be done in person. You cannot express everything that you want to unless you write an essay. And you cannot do that via text. The very nature of a text contradicts such elaborate arguments.
The secret of long-term relationships lies in being able to communicate effectively without having to resort to texts.
Once you have laid it all out in your head, you can text him the time and place so you can talk personally.
KEEP IT NEUTRAL
Try to be non-reactive and non-confrontational in your text. If you keep it neutral like this, it implies that you're mature and rational. You're open for a proper talk, instead of just a shouting match. This will also be less likely to put him on defense.
Also, try to use 'I' instead of 'you. 'You' seems a little too accusatory. If you keep to the 'I' pronoun, you're letting him know about you and about how you felt about what he said or did.
Don't accuse him and put his back up over text. Try to be diplomatic and try not to vent over text. If you want to vent, do it in person. Always keep your text messages neutral.
HERE ARE SOME SAMPLE TEXTS YOU CAN SEND YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU'RE MAD AT HIM
Reassure Him That You Love Him.
"You know I love you, but what you did really hurt me. When can we discuss it?"
This shows that you care about him and that you don't want to lose him because of something stupid. It reassures him that you still love him despite whatever happened.
Take your message to the next level.
"I don't think I can go on with this thing hanging over us. Are you free later so we can talk it out?"
Instead of sending the usual "we need to talk" text message, try rephrasing it into something more assertive. It shows that you're ready to move forward and resolve things together.
USE HUMOR (IF YOU CAN)
"When are you available for a big-ass, throw-breakable-things-in-the-wall fight which will eventually lead to lots of make-up sex and a stronger bond?"
Humor helps diffuse tension. Humorous texts help break down barriers and build trust. It shows that you're relaxed enough to joke about the situation, but you need to get to the bottom of it as well.
"What you did earlier before we left for work really hurt me and pissed me off at the same time. I'm sure we can resolve this if we talk. When can we talk?"
This way, you will let him know your feelings clearly and concisely. He knows exactly where you stand now. Also, by saying when you'll talk, you give him some sort of deadline.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.