People sometimes let go of their rational minds in favor of their emotions. Having an affair with a married man, for example, doesn't sound like the best decision. Since it's not meant to last, once the relationship is over, how does one get over it?
Does it somehow feel easier since you don't expect longevity? Or is it somehow worse because the feelings you've developed are conflicting, complicated, and unmanageable?
Let's explore this situation together and find out some ways on how to get over a married man.
Unfollow Him On Social Media
One of the hang-ups in your relationship is probably the fact that you can't post his picture anywhere on your social media accounts. After all, you don't have a lot of freedom when it comes to him.
However, if you love him (and are a little obsessed with him), you're probably following him on Instagram, Facebook, etc. Not just him, mind you. You're most likely following his wife, his kids, and even his dog's account. You want to be updated in every aspect of his life that doesn't include you.
However, once you've broken up, it's all around wiser to unfollow him and everyone connected to him. You'll want a clean break from your affair partner. It's easier to move on from a person if you don't see his face every time you go online. Or worse, a picture of him with his wife and family. Don't give a chance to hurt yourself any more than you have to. Your feelings are already bruised.
Delete His Number
Stop hovering your thumb over the delete button on your list of contacts. Just do it. It wouldn't be good for you to save his number. You're only going to be tempted to text him or call him. It would be altogether wiser to take away the temptation.
You can even block his number so that no matter how many texts he sends you about getting back together, you won't be able to read them. Even if he calls you, you won't know.
Once you get on the healing wagon, it's better to take out all temptations to avoid you sliding back into your old patterns. If you really want to move on, you'll have to do things even if it hurts, and you can not afford to give him any chance to come back.
Bring Back Your Rational Mind
You may have allowed your emotions to take over, which is why you ended up in a not-so-healthy relationship with a married man. Once you break it off, however, you need to rationalize your situation. Stop allowing your emotions to make all your choices for you, and start thinking. A reality check is in order.
It's not your fault that you fell for him. You are not a loose woman, so you shouldn't blame yourself either. You could even be both in love with a capital L, but it wouldn't matter. You're the third wheel in the relationship, the so-called other woman, and everyone knows that's not healthy.
Also, try to think about it like this- if he can cheat on his wife with you, what's stopping him from cheating on you? Men, who live dual lives, can't be trusted.
Get Out Into The World
Staying in your sweatpants and eating a gallon of ice cream is only good for the short term. Once this initial break-up phase is done, try to go back out into the world again. You can hang out with your friends or meet new people.
If you stay home, you'll only end up crying over him and remembering all the times you spent together. You'll probably drown in what-ifs and such. And this is not healthy behavior.
Surround yourself with valuable people and your family, and try to occupy your mind with thoughts that are more worthy of thinking about.
Now is probably the best time to work on yourself. Improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-love. Due to your breakup, all these things have probably taken a hit. You can even use this time to improve professionally and make the most out of this situation.
You can take courses or put yourself on the fast track at work. Take your mind off of your heartbreak and your married ex, and try to use it for self-improvement. Channel your emotions into productive work.
Talk To Someone
If you have friends whom you can rely on, try to talk it out with them. It's always better and healthier to talk about it rather than to keep it in. If you don't want it to be your friend, you can even seek professional help.
Break-ups are tough. It's considered an emotional shock. Women can't just walk away from an affair with a married man without a scratch. So if you find yourself having a tough time coping, go ahead and talk to someone you trust.
Learn From Your Experience
There is no shame in making a mistake. However, if you make the same mistake again, that's when the shame begins. Try to learn from your experience. You already know that being in a relationship with a married man is not ideal, to say the least.
Related: Why men date more than one woman
You barely walked away with your heart intact. You've lost your self-respect along the way. It would entirely be beneficial if you avoid married men in the future, no matter how charismatic and attractive they are.
Take Up A Hobby
In an effort to mix up your routine, try to take up a hobby. You can try learning a new language, or perhaps a musical instrument. If that's too heavy, you can even try knitting. You can do whatever it takes to get your mind off him.
Aside from the satisfaction of learning something new, this will also help you keep his memories from lingering in your mind. It's very cleansing.
It's the perfect time for a little soul-searching. Book a flight to wherever you want to go. And do it alone. Travelling is one of the best ways to find yourself and cure your soul.
So stop hesitating and go on an adventure. Discover new places, meet lots of people, and heal yourself. This is one of the surest ways to get back the confidence you lost from your heartbreak. It's about time you had a chance at happiness.
You can get over a married man you love by choosing to end things with him once and for all. Then, give yourself enough time to heal and cry over him. Once that's done, you have to force yourself to completely delete him from your life so that you can focus on other, more important things, such as loving yourself. This is an important part of the healing process.
Now is probably the best time to take time off work. This is why it is best to not date anyone from work- it makes things more sticky and complicated. However, since it's already done, it would be best if you can get a time off or get another job altogether. Getting a new job is a tough decision, but it's a lot better than ignoring him in the hallway or in the elevator.
If you want to get over being used by a married man, do your best to break the cycle. After all, the first step to solving a problem is knowing the problem. You already know that he's using you, so do your best to get yourself out of the situation. Break up with him for good, and try to move on.
Allow yourself some time to hurt and cry. Break-ups aren't easy, even with a normal and healthy relationship. They're even more difficult with married guys. Make sure it's completely over by deleting any trace of him from your life. It's your decision. Then, talk it out with someone and give yourself time to heal.
If you want your current relationship with a married guy to last, take it slow, and be careful. It's best to guard your heart and to enter it with realistic expectations. Try not to think long-term. He's married. No matter how much he professes to love you, he's still cheating on his wife with you. It's hard to form a strong relationship until both parties are single again.
Give him your attention, but not too much of it. Only enough to keep him wanting more. Make him miss you, and try to be adventurous. He's probably with you because you're very different from his wife or they have a toxic relationship. Compliment him, and be supportive of him without being too needy and clingy. He doesn't want another commitment while he's still married. He wants affection without strings.
If he's acting like a clingy boyfriend more than a married guy, he's probably in love with you. He would be around more and want your company more than he wants his wife's. He will text and call you at random times every day. He will probably tell you he will divorce his wife and marry you. He will most likely try to be the person you can see yourself in a happy relationship with in the future.
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