You might be feeling silly and awkward right now- typing “Signs you are the other woman” in your search bar, thinking whether searching on the Internet will help confirm your suspicion.
But ladies! Don’t be.
You might be already feeling a little off about him and you just can’t shake it out of your mind. You have got to know whether he is who he says he is and he’s not just playing with you.
You don’t really want to stay with a guy who’s probably taken or married, right? This is up to you to find out and I’m here to help you see the red flags and warning signs.
Related: Why Am I Always the Other Woman
8 Signs That You Are the Other Woman
1. Woman’s intuition.
No. You're not paranoid. The unfamiliar smell of sweet perfume lingering on his shirt or the frequent missed calls are the giveaways. The unknown strands of hair that are stuck in his passenger seat don't help either!
If you have ever been in this situation, your suspicion is justified. This is probably the reason of how you came about this article. Let me tell you, this is your woman's intuition working!
Related: 8 Signs He Loves The Other Woman
2. He only sees you when it’s convenient for him.
You've been dreaming of a partner who is down for all your crazy rendezvous and one who prefers to spend time with you even if that means laying around the couch doing nothing. But what did you get? A man who couldn't even pick up a phone call from you. And when you invite him over, he's just always busy.
Okay. Maybe he just has a demanding job or maybe he was indeed occupied. But why is it always him who calls the shots in where and when you guys can hang out? Why does he prefer to see you late at night? Or worse, after doing the 'deed', he mysteriously became busy?
You’ve got to ask yourself this, “are we dating or are we in a different arrangement I didn’t know?”
3. He can’t stand being photographed with you.
Taking you out to date became a rare event so of course, you'd be ecstatic, right? Who cares if he took you to another town to hang out? A date is a date, period. Such precious moments need to be remembered so you want to take a picture with him. But who could have known that he'll freak out?
He might say that he's not photogenic or just hates having his photos taken entirely. But you saw his phone lock screen and wallpaper- it's his face.
Have you ever thought that maybe, he just doesn’t want to be photographed with you, fearing that you’ll post the pictures on social media? Who would want their infidelity proven?
4. He never invites you to important events.
It could be a celebration for his promotion, his birthday party, or even his admission to a hospital for treatment. He just doesn't want to invite you. You guys are dating so how come he's treating you like you're his secret? Like you're not meant to be seen with him in public? Don't you think it's shady? Girl, think about it.
5. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family.
It’s okay if you have not met any of his friends and family yet if your relationship is just recent and new. But if you guys have been together for a couple of months or longer and you still haven’t met anyone significant in your partner’s life, this is a bright red flag for you to be concerned about.
Try putting yourself in the shoes of someone who’s married or in another relationship. Do you think it’s possible to introduce their ‘side chick’ to their family and friends when they know he’s already taken? Oh no, absolutely not.
6. You don’t know his address.
If you’re still looking for an excuse for your man (or is he really yours, though?) even though he checked all the previous signs, this sign will become a hard pill to swallow.
He will not tell you his address because he is afraid that you might come over and see the extra toothbrush, couple mugs, framed photos, makeup, and other traces of a woman's touch.
He would not bother to hide all those things just to accommodate you and take all your suspicions away. That's a hassle on his part when he knows after your short visit, his main partner will go home anyway.
7. Elusive to topics about the future with you.
You know a man is serious about your relationship when he doesn’t shy away from talking about your future together. In fact, some would initiate! They’d say their preferences and they will be willing to compromise if it clashes with yours. But a man who doesn’t take you seriously will walk out in fright.
8. He doesn’t like to talk about his personal life.
Forget about the topics about the future when he doesn’t even want to talk about himself. Dating is all about getting to know each other. It’s okay if it will take him a longer time to talk about his traumas and fears but if he doesn’t even share anything at all, you need to evaluate your situation.
Related: He got a girlfriend but wants you
So what should you do if you are the other woman?
If you recognize these signs above and he is cheating on his partner with you, it’s best to end things with him as soon as possible. This way he won't hurt you or his partner any more than necessary or continue leading both of you on.
The sooner you get out now before things progress too far into feelings territory, the better off everyone will be! Trust me, it's not worth all the drama and heartache when he's already proven himself untrustworthy. You deserve someone who takes care of you, respects and appreciates you.
Related: Ways To Get Over a Married Man
Now that you know the signs you are the other woman and realized that you could relate to each one of them, you need to decide what’s going to be your next move.
Remember ladies, it's going to be hard. The breakup could be nasty but it's important to know your place in the relationship. Be glad that you have figured this out now rather than later.
Every woman deserves to be treated with respect and no one should forget their principles for a man who could disregard other people’s feelings for his selfishness.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.