Men are naturally territorial. They sometimes can't help feeling jealous, especially when you're with some other guy. It wouldn't matter that you're not doing anything wrong or that you're only talking. If he's possessive, he would feel this ugly emotion regardless.
- IS HE JEALOUS?
- 1. HE GETS ANNOYED WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE
- 2. HE PLAYS HARD TO GET
- 3. HE'S PARANOID
- 4. HE CRASHES YOUR OUTINGS
- 5. HE DOESN'T LIKE OTHERS GIVING YOU COMPLIMENTS
- 6. HE HATES YOUR FRIENDS
- 7. HE'S A SOCIAL MEDIA STALKER
- 8. HE WANTS TO DECIDE FOR YOU
- 9. HE MAKES FUN OF YOUR HOBBIES
- 10. HE WANTS TO LOWER YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
- 11. HE WANTS TO KNOW ALL YOUR LOGIN INFORMATION
- 12. HE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS
- 13. HE SHOWS OFF BY ACTING TOUGH
- 14. HE COMES WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO
- 15. HE WANTS YOU TO FEEL GUILTY
- 16. HE DOESN'T TEXT YOU ANYMORE
- 17. HE GETS ANNOYED AND PARANOID WHEN YOU DON'T REPLY
- 18. HE SENDS YOU A MILLION TEXTS WHENEVER YOU GO OUT
- 19. HE WANTS YOU TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING
- 20. HE BLOWS UP YOUR PHONE
- 21. HE GIVES YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT
- 22. HE ACTS DIFFERENTLY
- 23. HE ONE-UPS EVERYONE ELSE
- 24. HE ACTS RUDELY TOWARDS YOUR MALE FRIENDS
- 25. HE BECOMES PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
- 26. HE SUDDENLY BECOMES SWEET
IS HE JEALOUS?
You can tell if he's jealous by his actions and body language. His reactions will include being annoyed when you talk about someone else, playing hard to get, getting paranoid, showing up whenever you're out with friends, keeping tabs on you, getting upset when others give you compliments, hating on your friends, stalking your social media, etc.
Whatever the case, it is important to spot these signs early on. Trust me, you don't want to ignore this big red flag and carry on pretending that everything's fine.
If you want to know when a guy is jealous, here are 26 signs to look out for:
1. HE GETS ANNOYED WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE
If he had reacted a lot more strongly and negatively than warranted when you mentioned a male colleague or a guy friend, then he's probably jealous. His reaction will probably run from ignoring you every time you talk about them, grimace, frown, or cluck his teeth in disapproval.
If you pay attention, his body language, in addition to his facial expression, will definitely indicate that he is jealous and annoyed by the amount of attention you give to these other guys. Or perhaps it is because you seem excited whenever you mention their names. He could even escalate and feel jealous when you talk about female colleagues. He will probably feel this way towards anyone who takes your attention off of him.
2. HE PLAYS HARD TO GET
If he starts acting strangely for no apparent reason right after you talked to a guy friend, then he's probably jealous. If he does this, it means that he wants you to chase him around and prove your love for him on a regular basis.
He won't want to talk to you about it. Instead, he will do something counterproductive and childish like this. He will probably even act like he's over you just so you can attempt to win him over. Essentially, he will want you to prove that you care about him.
3. HE'S PARANOID
Has he tried to stop you from spending time away from him? Maybe he became prematurely jealous, showing off his paranoid side. You haven't even left yet, and he was already angry.
The thought of you being away from him makes him paranoid. He will be very distrustful. Every time you say, think or do something, he will think that you are being unfaithful to him. Or perhaps he will believe that you're considering being unfaithful to him, even when it doesn't seem like that at all.
4. HE CRASHES YOUR OUTINGS
Has he shown up to a group outing or a work dinner just to make sure that you won't flirt with someone else? Or perhaps he's shown up to check on you or keep an eye on you. He will also most likely put a tracking device on your phone if he thinks he could get away with it.
If this is the case, then you are dealing with a very jealous and controlling individual. He doesn't trust you to behave properly (even when he has no cause for concern), which is why he wants to watch you make your every move.
5. HE DOESN'T LIKE OTHERS GIVING YOU COMPLIMENTS
If he is jealous, he won't like it when other guys compliment you. Did he get upset when someone told you you looked gorgeous with your new hair? Or perhaps one of your friends complimented you on your weight loss and gym commitment, and he deliberately misunderstood and walked out.
If he does this, he's probably scared that someone will take you away from him one compliment at a time. He will also tell you that everyone who compliments you wants to get into your pants. He has trust issues, which he really needs to work on.
6. HE HATES YOUR FRIENDS
If he hates your friends and badmouths them even when they haven't really met officially, it means he's jealous of them. He probably wants you to get rid of them all or else, sever your relationship with them. This is because he wants to isolate you. He also needs your undivided time and attention.
More than likely, he wants you to be dependent on him. That way, you will feel more alone than usual.
7. HE'S A SOCIAL MEDIA STALKER
If he is jealous, he's probably on your profile more often than you are. He will be updated about your posts, the number of likes you got for a single photo, and the admiring comments and DMs you received from one picture.
If he reads a compliment somewhere in there, this will make him automatically think that the commenter was your secret boyfriend and that you're thinking about leaving him for good. If he sees you reply with a thank you, he'll probably go crazy with jealousy.
Related: Complicated relationship status
8. HE WANTS TO DECIDE FOR YOU
It is acceptable to want to share the decision-making process, especially for things that concern you both as a couple, such as redecorating your apartment and such. What's not acceptable is him wanting to decide for you about things that are none of his business.
Some examples of this are him telling you to only wear pants from now on, deciding your meals for you, controlling how much you spend every payday, telling you to drop your master's degree classes or quit your job, and so on.
9. HE MAKES FUN OF YOUR HOBBIES
Making jokes at each other's expense is okay, especially if you guys don't mean them and are only doing it for fun. However, if he maliciously makes fun of things you like or the hobbies that you enjoy, that's different. It's an ugly thing to do.
He's probably threatened by your hobby, which isn't an excuse for him to turn mean. If you have a hobby that involves other people, he is probably jealous of them. Or he thinks you will spend less time with him. Or perhaps, he's just being spiteful.
10. HE WANTS TO LOWER YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
This is something that people with serious issues do to undermine someone else. If he does this to you by calling you names and making you feel like crap, he's probably the psychotic kind of jealous.
Most abusers do this too. In fact, this is one of their go-to moves. He's likely trying to isolate you by making you feel alone. He adds to this by telling you that no one else will love you but him. He will probably want you to feel thankful towards him and wary about strangers.
11. HE WANTS TO KNOW ALL YOUR LOGIN INFORMATION
Being in a comfortable and secure relationship without secrets is one thing. Asking for your log-in information so that he can stalk your social media accounts is another thing entirely. If he is jealous, he probably also checks your phone when he thinks you're not looking. He wants to know about everyone who attempts to contact you.
If he really loves you, he should be able to trust you more. So set your boundaries, and never give in. Otherwise, you're in for a world of hurt.
12. HE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS
He wants you to feel jealous by talking to other girls and sometimes even overtly flirting with them in front of you. He doesn't respect you enough to want to protect you from being hurt. He's probably doing this on purpose to hurt you.
If you confront him about his behavior, he will probably deflect by telling you that you did the same when you talked to your guy friend the other day. Or maybe he'll tell you to back off and suck it up. He likely thinks that he's allowed to do these things even when you're not.
13. HE SHOWS OFF BY ACTING TOUGH
You've probably covered your face in shame whenever he swaggered into a room looking for a fight. He does this because he thinks he's strong and because he wants to warn off other guys from you or scare away his "opponents".
The truth is, that chip on his shoulder is actually of his own making. No one's attempting to steal you from him. He just acts tough because he's scared. He's probably a very insecure man who wants to inspire fear so he won't be afraid.
14. HE COMES WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO
While this might seem romantic to some, it actually isn't. When he is jealous, he doesn't want to come with you just to be with you, per se. He only does it so he could keep an eye on you. In short, he doesn't trust you not to cheat on him given the right opportunity.
It's like he's walking a dog on a very short leash. In this scenario, you're the dog.
15. HE WANTS YOU TO FEEL GUILTY
His constant jealousy has probably beaten you down into submission. His constant nagging- which you found funny and ridiculous the first time you heard them, probably feels like gospel by now.
So much so that you're likely feeling guilty for the most innocent things. Perhaps you've begun to avoid talking to men so they won't be hurt by your betrayal. When you can't avoid it, you probably feel guilty for engaging in conversation with another human being- just because he thinks it's wrong.
16. HE DOESN'T TEXT YOU ANYMORE
He probably does this a lot, especially if you're a texting couple. He lays down so many difficult and ridiculous rules about behavior in front of other guys. When you inevitably disappoint him by making a mistake, he will be upset.
His upset will take the form of silence. In this scenario, it would be relatively easy to elicit a response. He will just stop texting you. Since you're used to his texts, his radio silence will bother you more than you let on. You'll probably have to send him three-paragraph apologetic texts to get him to talk to you again.
17. HE GETS ANNOYED AND PARANOID WHEN YOU DON'T REPLY
Whenever you forget or neglect to reply to his texts, he won't be apologetic. His emotions will probably range from annoyed to downright angry- about as far from apologetic as possible. It's quite unfair, yes.
This is because if he's a jealous guy, he will probably be thinking that you're too busy flirting with another guy and cheating on him to reply to his texts. It sounds insane and demented, but he's paranoid, after all.
18. HE SENDS YOU A MILLION TEXTS WHENEVER YOU GO OUT
Whenever you go out without him, it will feel like a nightmare to him. He will probably send you a million things to compensate and keep things in balance.
If a guy is jealous, he will bombard you with texts like, "Where are you," "Are you drinking," "What are you doing," "Who are you with," "Who else is there," etc, somewhat normal to you. He does this because he has major trust issues. He literally needs to check up on you constantly to soothe his paranoid mind.
Related: Is he texting me because he's bored
19. HE WANTS YOU TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING
You've probably noticed how he ferrets out information from you. Maybe he did it subtly before. The longer you carry on, the more overt his information gathering will be.
He will probably stop asking you about your day. Instead, he will start asking you rapid-fire questions like who you were with, where you went, what you did, etc. If your boyfriend wants you to report to him like this, then he's one jealous guy.
20. HE BLOWS UP YOUR PHONE
If he picks a fight whenever you go out, this means that he wants you to give him your complete attention. In his mind, he's probably thinking that you can't flirt with anyone or cheat on him if you're otherwise engaged in a texting match with him.
This is his way of ensuring that your attention will not wander from him even when you're not together. Keeping you occupied this way will ruin your night, yes, but maybe that's one of his intentions too.
21. HE GIVES YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT
If he's coming from an insecure stance, he may ignore you when he feels jealous or upset. You probably went out for drinks with a few friends, and when you came back, he's suddenly not talking to you. Men like this are often sullen and grumpy because they don't know how to process their emotions.
So when he gives you the silent treatment, he does this to let you know that you did something that made him upset, and he wants you to do something about it.
22. HE ACTS DIFFERENTLY
Some guys who don't feel at all secure in your relationship or in their masculinity will want to imitate whoever they think you like. So if you've noticed that he's all of a sudden developed this deep, growly voice, you should know that he thinks you're into your colleague.
Or maybe he's suddenly become Robert Downey Jr.'s character, Iron Man. You woke up to him swaggering about how he's a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. That's probably because he's worried that you'd want someone who is like him. It sounds childish, but some guys do this because they are jealous.
23. HE ONE-UPS EVERYONE ELSE
If he's constantly trying to one-up other guys to get your attention, it's probably because he's jealous. He could be trying to impress you by insisting on paying the bill whenever you go out, or by buying you expensive gifts.
Men have this competitive streak that's a mile-wide. They're complicated creatures which means that they probably want to give you a present, and at the same time, one-up all of your other potential suitors.
24. HE ACTS RUDELY TOWARDS YOUR MALE FRIENDS
A lot of women have guy friends nowadays. If you do and hang out with them sometimes, it could get tricky if you have a jealous suitor or boyfriend. He's probably not going to be all that thrilled that you have other guys who are close to you.
So if you've noticed some snide remarks or mean comments from your guy towards your friends, it's probably a good idea to talk to him. After all, this kind of juvenile behavior is just so high school. Sure, he probably does it to protect your relationship, but seeing that it only annoys you instead, he should cease and desist.
25. HE BECOMES PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
If he suddenly becomes aloof and quiet, right after he overtly flirted with you, it's probably because he's jealous. This kind of passive-aggressive behavior is actually more common than you think. After all, it's easy to smile widely while giving you a double-edged compliment and then fade into the background. He's probably thinking that it sure beats hanging around you while you're flirting with other guys.
26. HE SUDDENLY BECOMES SWEET
Maybe he's masking his jealousy with over-the-top and suspect sweetness. You'll know he's jealous because he's not normally a very sweet person. You know he's the kind of guy who usually just grunts as a reply. So when he transforms into this fairy dripping in sweetness, it should definitely make you suspect that something is going on. After all, acting out of character is definitely a sign that he's jealous.
Jealousy is a normal human emotion that occurs in relationships because we don't want to lose the person who's important to us. It happens for many reasons: they feel insecure or threatened; lack of self-confidence; their partner has been unfaithful; they have been cheated on in the past; their ex-girlfriend/boyfriend comes back into their life; they've had bad experiences with women before. The list goes on.
You will know if a guy is jealous but hiding it whenever he gets upset when you talk about someone else, plays hard to get, gets paranoid when you're not together, shows up to your parties and gatherings, gets upset when you get compliments from other people, hates on your friends, stalks your social media, makes your decisions for you, etc.
You will know if a guy is jealous through texting whenever he stops texting you to let you know he's upset, freaks out if you don't respond, texts you a lot when you go out, wants you to tell him everything, blows up your phone, etc.
If he's an insecure and immature guy, yes, he is probably jealous. More mature and self-confident guys will probably just raise an eyebrow and that's it. The latter kind of guy trusts you and respects you enough to let you make conversation with other people, including guys. The former type of guy seems like someone who wouldn't want you to enjoy talking to other people that aren't him.
It depends on the context. Sometimes, when mature men get jealous, it is probably because they have a very good reason. Maybe it's not you whom he doesn't trust- maybe it's the guy. If this is the case, then he is probably protecting you or trying to, in any case. There are also times when he feels jealous because you unwittingly gave him a reason to be.
The fact that he's jealous without reason makes him possessive. If he acts all paranoid, restrictive, unreasonably jealous, obsessive, and insecure, he's probably possessive. On the other hand, if he's acting like a jealous boyfriend because of a perfectly good reason, then he's probably just normal jealous.