Lack of responsibility, a happy, carefree outlook on life - these are the characteristics of men who simply refuse to grow up and act like a child. Whether they are in their early twenties, forties or sixties, they continue to behave like adolescents, often making life miserable for their partners and their environment.
Men without responsibility
Men with a childlike spirit are usually very entertaining, and life with them seems like a lot of laughter. We are slowly discovering that this is not entirely true. This type of man is always trying to deflect responsibility, likes to blame others for his mistakes.
In time, we all grow up, sooner or later. But growing up takes effort. The first step is to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions, and this involves not passing on our responsibilities to others and not looking for excuses to justify our behavior and mistakes. Some men do not want to go down this long and bumpy road and often get stuck at certain stages.
How to recognize a childish man?
A childish man is an adult in age and a child in behavior. Often his partner or his parents take care of all his troubles, such as finding him a job, paying his bills, taking the burden of all the housework off his shoulders, squeezing the last shred of independence out of him.
The infantile man looks confident, but deep down he is vulnerable and shy. At a gathering, he can immediately impress an audience; he is sparkling, conquering and captivating. The rest of the company seems insignificant in comparison. Inwardly, this man is insecure, indecisive, often afraid of not being loved enough, and hides behind a mask of confidence and cheerfulness.
For him, life is all fun and games. He fantasizes about fabulous businesses, impossible plans and love affairs to hide his inability to grow up. His only task is to avoid obligations and obstacles. That's why marriage and starting a family are dragged out as long as possible.
6 signs that your man is still very immature
You can easily tell if your partner is childish by his behavior and habits.
Unfortunately, just because someone looks very masculine on the outside doesn't mean they are fully grown up in every way. There are many men (and women too, of course) who, although well past adulthood, are still very childish in their behavior and attitudes.
If you are dealing with such a partner, it is better to realize this as early as possible, so that you know what to expect, how to deal with it and make the necessary steps, and decide after a few weeks if you still want a long-term relationship. Here are some things to watch out for to find out.
1. He is avoiding serious topics
If his previous relationships, family, or any other serious matters come up, does he immediately change the subject or settle for a joke and move on quickly? This is one of the earliest warning signs that a man is immature. In this case, he is unable to take problems seriously and is unable or unwilling to talk about them. This can also be a serious problem later on when relationship difficulties arise, as it makes it almost impossible to talk about them.
2. He is acting carelessly
Immature men tend not to think through their actions or consider the consequences. This can take all sorts of forms: spending a large amount of money unnecessarily when they could not afford to. Hurting their partner badly and only later realizing the pain they have caused. Of course, they regret it later, but they never feel the weight of their actions beforehand.
3. He promises everything
It's also common for them to make big plans, promising exciting activities but never delivering. Immature people like to throw around big words, but only to impress their partner - but they don't really mean them at all, and often forget them the next day. That's why they are terribly hard to believe.
4. Serious things make him panic
When it comes to future plans or any kind of commitment, the immature man immediately panics. He gets embarrassed, deflects the subject and does his best not to get involved in serious matters, because he is terrified of them and does not feel ready for such changes at all. He is afraid or doesn't want to grow up fully.
5. He thinks only of himself
Selfishness can indicate not only narcissism or a sociopathic personality, but also childishness. It can manifest itself in almost every area from the beginning of a relationship: on dates, in activities or even in bed. He thinks only of himself, no matter what the other person wants or what is good for him.
6. He is far from being independent
He can't do anything on his own, needs help with everything, and prefers others to solve difficult and problematic issues for him. Perhaps he is still living with his parents, even though he has no financial obstacles to afford rent or his own apartment. These may also be signs of childishness and immaturity, so it is worth paying attention to them, as they may cause problems in the future.
What can you do if your man is childish?
A man with childish behavior often has to experience the consequences of his actions first hand to feel that he needs to change his behavior. Often only a psychologist can help. In this case, it is worth starting with couples or group therapy, as the man's partner or parents may also be contributing to his irresponsible behavior.
The best solution is to let the infantile man face reality and take responsibility for his actions. As ruthless as it may seem, we should not do his tasks for him. If he doesn't pay his bills (it's not just one or two cases, of course), don't do it for him; if he falls asleep repeatedly, don't wake him up. It probably won't happen next time. If, for example, he complains that his job doesn't want to promote him, instead of feeling sorry for him, ask him what he wants to do about it. At the same time, support and help him, and encourage him to improve by relying on his positive qualities.
Why Do Men Act Like Children When In Love?
Men act like children in love for various reasons. Sometimes that's a positive thing. When we're in love, we can take our masks of social norms off and just be ourselves. We all have the child inside who represents the carefree time in our lives for most of us. We remember the times we were allowed to be children, and if your love feels secure enough to treat you that way, then it's a great thing. Everyone should have the freedom to be a little silly and childish in love if they want.
Related: Does He Really Love Me?
Why would a grown man act like a child?
A grown man will behave like a child because he is disappointed with his life as an adult. Becoming an adult isn't what he imagined to be. He fantasizes about simpler days when life was meant to be fun, so he goes back in time to a happier time in his youth.
What makes a man child?
A man child, in the most basic sense, is an adolescent male who don't want to grow up. That doesn't necessarily mean he's living at home with his parents, though given how he functions in the real world, he certainly should, but rather that he doesn't have his life together.
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Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.
I have a 42 year old man/child who doesn't want or think anything is wrong with the way he lives and had been living. He actually thinks everything he does is perfect and everyone else is wrong. (Narcissist) please help I need out but I have a 3 year old involved and he's already threatened to make my life miserable to start.
I would get real help if I were in your place: https://www.thehotline.org/
You are absolutely correct on all points. I just said ‘get lost’ to a 63 year old man. Yes, 63, he has no plans to get his own place. He moved across the country recently to help babysit his grandchild. He's retired. That is admirable, but I babysit my grandchild as well, however, I have my own place!! I’m 52, why wouldn’t I? Long story short, he says the plan was to help his daughter with her child, and getting his own place is not in the plans. Well, if he thought he was gonna be staying with me and always over my place, the answer is Hell no !
He invited me over to his daughter’s house! My goodness! I NEVER invited him over after 2 months of dating. He is a senior citizen who is living like a twenty year old. Good riddance!!