It's not easy to start a conversation with a guy, especially if he's someone you like (crush). You will most likely be too affected by your nerves. Or maybe your scrambled pulse messes with your ability to be logical.
This is why I have created this guide on how to start a conversation with guys. It should help you get over the nervousness and make you feel confident enough to approach him.
For example, you can start by asking him a question and go from there. You can also ask for a recommendation. If that doesn't do it, you can always ask him about himself. He should be able to expand on the topic. Once he does, use it as a springboard to get him talking and asking you questions, too.
How to start a conversation with a guy you like
Ask Him A Question
If you see him at a random party, say hi and ask him why he's there. Make sure to keep it casual, though. You don't want to come off as too interested. You definitely don't want to give him stalker vibes.
For instance, just go over to where he's at and ask him how he knows the host. If he tells you he's friends with the owner of the house, say cool.
Out of sheer politeness, he will most definitely ask you the same. You can then introduce each other and go from there. If he doesn't, it won't be weird if you volunteer the information and then say "See you around" and walk away.
Related: How to flirt with a guy you like
Ask For His Recommendation
If you want a conversation started, you can ask him for a recommendation. This is one of the go-to ways to get a man talking. Make sure you're asking him about something he knows a lot about.
If he's into comics, ask him if it's better to buy DC comics or Marvel comics. If he's into punk rock bands, ask him what he thinks about Brendon Urie or Panic! At The Disco. If he's a fiction reader, ask him to recommend a book for you.
This way, he can talk about something he feels very passionate about, which means that he will not run out of things to say. You can also get into it with him and offer him your opinion about his suggestions.
Talk About Your Surroundings
If you find yourself in a crowded bar with him, you can casually comment about how packed it is. You'll probably need to shout it to his ear. Once you do, you can even suggest getting out of there to find a quieter place to talk.
If you're in the park, you can comment about the fresh air, the trees, the number of joggers, etc. This is a good way to go about starting a conversation since it's a literal common ground (no pun intended).
If you want to talk to him, you can try complimenting him. There's no need to gush or act like a fan. If you can keep it cool and maybe tell him about how good he looks in his casual outfit, this will make his day. You can follow it up by asking him where he got his shirt and go from there.
As you know, guys don't get a lot of compliments. They're more used to giving compliments. This makes them receptive to anyone who praises them.
Bring Up The Book He's Reading
Needless to say, this only works if he's reading a book or if you're at a bookstore together. Some readers also don't like to be interrupted when they're reading. However, if you do this right, you should be able to pull it off.
If he's reading Game of Thrones, you can get his attention by telling him Winter is Coming. If you're in a bookstore and he's browsing through the horror/suspense genre, you can recommend some authors to him or even ask him who his favorite is.
Ask Him For A Small Favor
You can also ask him to tell you the time or to give you directions to where you want to go. This is one of the most casual ways to open a conversation, especially if you're shy.
Once he gives you the directions, and it seems as though he doesn't want to leave you yet, you can even introduce yourself and tell him why you're going there. You can also ask him to accompany you there if he's not busy.
Talk About The Weather
This is a classic for a reason. Talking about the weather, especially if it's unusual, can be an excellent springboard for a conversation.
If it's raining while it's sunny, and you find yourself together outside the library, you can casually say, "It seems like the sky is woman," and then glance up at him. If he looks quizzical, take your chance and continue by saying, "She just can't make up her mind". For a pick-up line, it's kinda weak, but it's lame in a good way.
Talk About His Pet
If you see him in the park walking his dog, you can take that as a sign from above that you have to talk to him. Puppies and dogs are excellent conversation starters. In fact, some guys walk their pets around parks and use them to talk to women.
So you can come over and get him started talking about his adorable golden retriever. Ask him about the dog's name, how old it is, and so on. You can do this while playing with his pet. So you get to play with a dog, as well as start a conversation with this guy that you like. The next time you see him, you can even ask about his pet. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Talk About His Tattoo
It's rare to bump into a guy with no tattoo nowadays. Most of the time, people choose to get tattoos of symbols that mean something to them. So if you ask him about his tattoo and about what it means to him, this is an excellent way to start a conversation with him.
Tell Him Who He Looks Like
You can also try to throw him overt glances, and then when he finally asks you 'What?', you can then tell him how he looks like someone you know.
If he's particularly handsome, you can also tell him that he looks like Chris Evans, or someone equally attractive and popular. Even if he's good-looking, he will probably laugh deprecatingly. Maybe he'll say he is or that he's a lot more attractive than Captain America. Either way, you'll get him talking.
You can also take the most straightforward way and just introduce yourself. You can tell him your name and ask him for his. You can even shake hands. If you both feel something from that small contact, you can tell him how you've been wanting to talk to him for a while.
Once you have his interest, you can joke around with confidence- maybe talk about stuff, all the while making lingering eye contact. This is a bit forward, but it's another classic that only a confident girl can pull off.
How To Start A Conversation With A Guy Over Text
Texting can make things easier. Aside from the lack of physical presence, which is probably intimidating, you can also take your time and think through your answers before you send your reply.
Related: How Guys Text When They Like You
But how does one start a conversation with a guy over text? Well, you can lead with confidence. It doesn't matter if it's fake. He won't be able to tell over text. You can also try to be unique and engaging, as well as curious. If you ask him open-ended questions, he will surely take that as a sign that you're interested.
Here are some more ways on how to start a conversation with a guy over text.
Lead With Confidence
Contrary to popular opinion, texting a guy first is okay. There is no written rule that forbids you from sending him a text. However, you should also make sure that you don't go overboard. Try not to be too enthusiastic, desperate, or aggressive.
Try not to text him more than once. Wait for him to reply. If he doesn't, there's nothing wrong with that. If he does, good. Don't ruin your confident text message with a whiny and insecure follow-up text. Give him space, and give him a challenge he cannot refuse.
Be Original And Engaging
Instead of just messaging him 'Hey', or 'What's up?', like everyone else in the world, try to text him something a lot more unique. Your goal is to stand out. You can't do this by texting him a generic greeting and hoping for the best.
You can, instead, think of something that you both have in common- like books, movies, or sports, and then text him a one-liner like "I feel a disturbance in the force," or by saying, "You know nothing, Jon Snow". This way, you'll get his attention, and he will be more than tempted to reply rather than ignore you.
Ask Him Open-Ended Questions
If you do this, you don't get the risk of getting short, taciturn replies like 'K', or a noncommittal "Ah". So don't just ask him about his day, because chances are he'll just say fine, and that's it. Get him talking by asking him open-ended questions about things that he likes to talk about. Get him to open up about himself to you.
Odds are, he won't want to text you once he's comfortable enough. He will want to meet you in person to talk instead since it's tiring to send long messages after a while.
Find A Common Ground
Once you get him talking about stuff he cares about, you will eventually find a shared interest. You could find yourself wanting to talk to him about John Green novels or Stephen King horror short stories. You could even ask him to recommend to you some books you haven't read yet.
If it's not books, maybe it's movies, TV series, or the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You could even find yourself sharing a macabre fascination with murder documentaries on Netflix. Once you find common ground, you should be able to talk comfortably around each other without any awkwardness.
Make A Pop-Culture Reference
Sometimes, it's a lot easier to connect with people than you think. This is because pop culture is alive no matter where we are in the world. Since we share this one thing with our fellowmen, it's not difficult to make one pop-culture reference and have your guy give you his opinion about it.
For instance, you can text him how he is the "King of the world", but only if he stands on the prow of a luxury ship that will eventually sink in the North Atlantic Ocean.
Send Him A Meme Or A Funny Gif
Since you're living in 2022, you may as well act like a GenZ and get into the meme world. Sending him a meme or a funny GIF will definitely get his attention and start your conversation going. Especially if the meme or GIF is about a shared interest.
However, you have to remember that the meme or GIF is only a conversation starter. It's not going to be able to sustain your conversation for long.
According to recent studies, emojis are used by people who have the most successful dating lives. It's a very good ice breaker, as well as an excellent flirting tool. For example, if you want to start a conversation with him about his day, you can ask him to send three emojis that best encapsulate his day so far.
You can also ask him what he thinks of you, but using only five emojis. This way, you can break the ice and avoid the awkwardness of looking for a topic for conversation.
Pick Up Where You Left Off
If you want, you can also refer to a previous topic you've had or something he's mentioned before in your text thread or in person. This lends a certain continuity to your conversation. It makes you feel like nothing else has happened ever since you parted ways.
However, try to make sure to not overuse a topic. He's probably not going to appreciate you asking him to recommend a Stephen King book when you already asked him that before. It makes it too obvious that you've run out of things to say. Try to keep track of your conversation.
Mention Something From His Online Profiles
If he has a dating account or a social media account, this could be a gold mine for excellent conversation starters. You can even try to make fun of some of the things he's mentioned in there.
For example, you can tease him about how he said he liked to listen to classical music when you already know that he prefers to listen to rock bands. You can also ask him about where he was in his profile picture. Afterward, you can casually mention how you like to hike as well, and this could be your shared interest.
Keep It Brief
Try to make your texts look like texts. Don't send him a three-paragraph essay about why you like Tony Stark over Captain America. Unless he's really into you, he's not going to find that cute or attractive.
Instead, keep your messages short. This way, you have a lot more opportunities for playful and witty banter.
Know When To End Your Conversations
Always try to end conversations first. This will make you appear a lot cooler than you actually are. Just because you started the conversation first doesn't mean you're going to be there until it dies a natural death.
If you strategically end it first, he will think that you're not a pushover. He will also wonder about how to keep you interested enough to still reply. Finally, it will leave him wanting more of your company.
Related: I want to message him so bad
Have A Reason Or A Point For Texting Him
If it's the first time you're texting the guy, it would be best if you have an excellent reason for starting the conversation. Otherwise, your text thread will die before it's even alive- and all your chemistry and imagined banter will only live in your head.
Having a point will make you more secure in your control over the conversation. It will also help keep the awkwardness to a bare minimum, as well as keep the conversation fresh. If you have an excellent excuse for starting the conversation with him, it will help you avoid it losing its momentum and fizzling out. Also, you won't appear too obvious.
Text Him at The Right Time
You don't know his schedule, so of course, you don't know how busy he is. However, using the regular person's hours, you should avoid texting him during office hours. You don't want him to be annoyed about how you've interrupted his work.
Also, try to avoid texting him late at night. He may be a light sleeper and will not appreciate you waking him up with a Star Wars reference.
Be Playful And Flirty
Make sure that he knows exactly that you're into him. However, while doing this, you should also avoid looking too desperate or aggressive. So how exactly are you going to accomplish walking the line like this?
Simple. Try not to appear over-eager. Even though you reply to him in an overtly flirty fashion, try not to reply in half a second. Instead, wait for a bit. Make him anticipate your replies. In short, don't make it too easy on him. Guys love a challenge. Make him work for it.
Related: How to turn a guy on through text
How To Start A Conversation With A Guy Online - Examples
You can also use any one of these examples below if you want to start a conversation with a guy online:
- Big spoon or little spoon? Asking for a friend…
- Do you find it sexy when girls make the first move, or shall I wait for you to do it?
- I had a dream about you last night…
- If you're planning on making a move, I just want you to know that now would be a very good time for it.
- I've been binge-watching a series on Netflix, but you're still hotter than the bottom of my laptop.
What Should I Text A Guy To Start A Conversation?
If you want to start a conversation over text with a guy, you can text him an open-ended question or ask him for a recommendation. That way, you will be sure that he will reply with something more than a yes or no.
How Do You Start A Conversation With Your Crush
You can start a conversation with your crush by complimenting him. You can also bring up a shared experience or even a shared interest. If you both like movies over books, you should talk about that.
How Do You Make A Conversation Interesting With A Guy
Ask him about something you know he's interested in. You can also ask him to recommend a book, a movie, or a song, depending on his interest. If you want to keep him talking, ask about him.
How Do You Keep A Conversation Going With A Guy Over Text
One of the surest ways to keep a conversation going with a guy over text is to keep him interested. If you're unique and original in your approach to texting, this should be no problem. You can also ask him questions about things that he likes.
How Do You Start A Conversation With A Guy In Person
You can always use the direct approach and introduce yourself. You can also ask him for directions, and at the same time, keep your eye contact game strong. If you prefer, you can also talk about the weather.
How To Start A Conversation Over Text
If you want to start a conversation over text, be original. Try to stand out by using a fresh approach. You can do this by sending him a pop-culture reference line or meme that you're sure he will get, instead of just saying, "What's up?".
How To Start A Conversation With A Guy On Tinder
You can start a conversation with a guy on tinder by asking questions, giving compliments, joking, sending GIFs and memes that will catch his interest, talking about a shared interest, etc.
How To Start A Conversation With A Guy Over Snapchat
You can start a conversation with a guy over Snapchat by replying to their Snapchat story. You can also send him an article, use the low time limit, send a 'group' message, and of course, the classic direct approach.
How To Start A Conversation With A Guy On Instagram
You can start a conversation with a guy on Instagram by asking him about his posts, sending him related posts and asking him questions, complimenting him on his photos and feed, and making sure to double-tap on his posts before sliding into his DMs.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.