For some people, love is instantaneous. They meet a person and all of a sudden, they're in love. But it's not always like this for most of us. In fact, a lot of people become confused about how they feel. So you ask: do I like him, or am I just feeling lonely?
Luckily, there are telltale signs of whether or not you really like him. For example, you are thinking about him a lot, you like him not just for his looks, you feel comfortable around him, you are jealous when he talks to other girls, and so on.
If you want to stop feeling confused about your emotions, step up and read on so that you can find out how you really feel about him.
- Do I Like Him Or The Idea Of Him?
- Physical Attraction vs Liking The Person
- Do I Like Him? Why Are You Asking This?
- Do You Let Him Protect You?
- Write Down Your Thoughts
- Does It Feel Natural To Be With Him?
- How Much Do You Know About Him?
- Are You Settling?
- How Often Do You Think About Him?
- Are You Making An Effort?
- Can You Imagine Your Life Without Him?
- Have You Had These Feelings For Long?
- Have You Been Confused For Long?
- What Do Your Friends Say?
- Are You Still Hung Up Over Your Ex?
- Do You Ask For His Help?
- Can You Picture A Future With Him?
- Do You Feel Jealous When You Think About Him Being With Someone Else?
- Are You Interested In Getting To Know Him?
- Are You Putting Yourself Out There For Him?
- Are You Being Pressured To Like Him?
- Have You Moved On?
- Do You See Him A Lot?
- Are You Looking For Signs That He Likes You?
- Are You Just Comfortable?
- Are You Still Looking At Other Potential Boyfriends?
- Do You Want To Impress His Friends?
- Have You Had Deep Conversations?
- Are You Interested In Playing Games?
- Have You Considered Making The First Move?
- Do You Ignore Red Flags?
- How Do I Know If I Like Him Like That?
- How Do You Know If You Secretly Like Him?
- Do I Love Him, Or Am I Just Lonely?
Do I Like Him Or The Idea Of Him?
If you find yourself wanting to sweep a lot of things under the rug so you don't have to think about them, then you just like the idea of him. This is because he looks perfect on the outside, and this makes you think he will make the perfect boyfriend. So you're essentially sold on the idea of him, instead of the real him.
Physical Attraction vs Liking The Person
Liking someone can easily be confused with liking his face and body. If you find someone physically attractive, you're probably thinking that you like him. But this is not the case. Liking a person has to do with his personality, attitude, behavior, and sense of self. It's not just physical attraction. You find him cute because of the physical attraction and then ignore his flaws.
So if you really want to know whether you like him as a person, subtract his looks from the equation. If you decide that you like him despite his looks, then you know that you like him for sure.
Do I Like Him? Why Are You Asking This?
Before you can successfully indulge in your feelings, you have to know yourself to some extent. If your emotions are confusing you and making you ask so many questions, then it's probably time to answer some of them, so you'll know for sure that you like him.
Where do you think those questions are coming from? Why would you ask "do I like him"? Have you had a bad relationship experience in the past? Are you thinking that any relationship you start will always turn out exactly like all the others in the past? Or perhaps you're selling yourself the wrong story. It could even be that you're worried about being proven wrong when everything turns out great.
Do You Let Him Protect You?
All men have an intrinsic protective instinct. This means that they're always going to want to protect you and make you safe. Your safety is going to be his top priority. For example, he helps you cross the road or put his arm around you whenever he thinks you need it.
Some of these things are annoying to most women. However, if the right guy does this for you, you're probably going to allow it. So if you're wondering whether or not you really like him, the fact that you're letting him protect you should be a dead giveaway. Think about it this way, if another man you don't care for does all those things, will you let him? Probably not.
Write Down Your Thoughts
If it was just feelings and emotions, you're probably going to figure things out sooner. It's your thoughts that are confusing you. Perhaps it's time to list things down.
You can start by listing down all the things you like about him. Then maybe start another list about everything that makes him special and different from everyone else you know. You can even list down the things he does that make your heart skip a beat. Write all these down to get them out of your head. Perhaps only then can you make proper sense of them.
Related: 100 reasons why I love you
Does It Feel Natural To Be With Him?
The first few times you're with him, you probably feel giddy and not so much like yourself. But that's the attraction of talking. It wears off eventually. Once it does, how do you feel whenever you're together?
Does it feel boring- like you don't know what the hell you're doing there? Or perhaps it feels awkward- like you don't have any idea what to talk about next.
However, if you feel natural, you've pretty much hit the jackpot. You have to feel natural, at home, safe, secure, as well as a calm connection whenever you're with him. You should feel like you can be yourself when you're with him.
How Much Do You Know About Him?
Perhaps you're confused about how you're feeling, which is why you want to list down all the things that you know about him. That's when you get stumped, and you realize that you really don't know much about him.
If you want to like a person, you have to be able to accept everything about him. How can you accept the things you don't know? You should know about his work, his family, friends, co-workers, etc. In addition to that, listen to how they talk about him in town. Does he have a reputation for being a womanizer? Do they call him a bad boy?
Are You Settling?
This is one of the most important questions you need to answer. Maybe you don't actually like him. Perhaps you're just settling because you're lonely. You could be thinking that you'll probably not find anyone else at this point and that you might as well go for it with this guy.
Don't. Instead, ask yourself if you only think of him whenever you're alone or if he fills your thoughts even when you're out with a crowd. If it's the former, then yes, perhaps you're lonely and bored, and you want him to give you excitement. However, if it's the latter, it means you really like him. After all, even though you're busy and you have a lot going on in life, you still think about him.
How Often Do You Think About Him?
Have you thought of him, even in passing, for the whole week? If not, then I don't know why you're even wondering about your feelings. If you, however, think about him 24/7, then it's possible you really like this guy.
Do you think about him when you wake up or before you go to sleep? Do you find yourself seeing him and comparing him with all the other guys you encounter every day? Do you wait by your phone in anticipation of his reply? Is he the first person you think to call if you're upset or when you're feeling happy?
If it's a yes, then you definitely like him.
Are You Making An Effort?
Do you go out of your way for him? Do you do things for him that you normally do for other people? Or perhaps you're finding yourself mentally giving him a pass for all the things you find annoying in other people. Or maybe you're making time for him by shifting your schedule to fit his.
Making this big effort should clue you in that you really like this guy. You should, however, take note of his behavior. Does he make the same effort, or do you find yourself constantly adjusting to his personality? Because while it's okay, and even good, to show him how much you like him by your effort, it's not good if he doesn't reciprocate.
Can You Imagine Your Life Without Him?
In the short amount of time you've shared together, has he somehow managed to take over your world in a good way? Perhaps you're slowly getting used to having him around so that you subconsciously reach out to him even in your sleep. Maybe he makes you so happy that your day doesn't feel complete if you can't see him.
If he's made such an impact in your life and you can't imagine how your life will be without him, then yes, you really do like him. On the other hand, if you feel like he's not making any difference and that you're better off alone, then he's not the one for you.
Have You Had These Feelings For Long?
Time spells out the difference between an ordinary crush and infatuation. While a crush fizzles out eventually, your infatuation can eventually lead to love. This is because your crush is only based on physical attraction. On the other hand, your infatuation is based on other things besides, such as his kindness, gentleness, strength, etc.
So if you've felt this way for a long time, then yes, you truly like him.
Have You Been Confused For Long?
However, if it's taking you a long time to figure out how you really feel, then perhaps you already know how you're feeling. If you're doubting yourself and your own emotions so much that you find yourself mulling over things for a year, then you're not as into him as you'd like.
This is because if you find yourself at a standstill feeling no sense of urgency whatsoever, then it means that however you're feeling, it's not intense enough to warrant action. A huge part of yourself is probably holding you back because it knows it's not worth it.
What Do Your Friends Say?
The people who are close enough to you, and at the same time, outside of your potential relationship with him, should be able to tell you what's going on. Friends are very observant. They also know you a good deal, sometimes even better than you know yourself.
They should be able to notice how oddly you're behaving around this guy. They can sometimes even tell when you're into a guy and when you're just flirting for fun. In addition, they can also better see any chemistry you may share with your guy.
So ask them what they think and then take their observations under advisement. But don't let them make your choice for you. After all, you're the one who will potentially enter a relationship, not them.
Are You Still Hung Up Over Your Ex?
If you're still thinking about your ex and your breakup, then you probably don't like him that much. No matter how great a guy he is, and how wonderfully you suit each other, if you find yourself thinking more about your ex than him, you should get over your previous relationship first.
Related: Why don't I like him
Do You Ask For His Help?
Asking for his help is not as simple as it appears. It triggers his hero instinct and makes him feel needed. So if you ask him for help, when you could have called a friend, it means you like him. Deep down, you want him to know that you need him.
Can You Picture A Future With Him?
A relationship doesn't stay the same forever. If you're a grown-up, it's natural to imagine your future 10 or 20 years from now. If you can see him in your future, maybe even bouncing a kid or two on his knees, then yes, you do like him. However, even if he ticks all the boxes, if you can't see yourself with him in your picture of the future, then you don't like him as well as you'd hoped.
Do You Feel Jealous When You Think About Him Being With Someone Else?
Do you find yourself jealous at the thought of him being with other people? Perhaps you even get annoyed just thinking about him flirting with someone else. If so, then yes, you do like him. It's even possible that you'll get more than a little heartbroken if he suddenly tells you that he's found someone else.
Are You Interested In Getting To Know Him?
Are you interested in getting to know the real him? Do you find yourself getting curious about his family, friends, and even his job? Do you want to know even the tiniest detail about him? Do you want him to tell you about his heartbreaks, his hopes, dreams, and passions? If you do, then yes, you really like this guy.
Are You Putting Yourself Out There For Him?
You know how it feels to have your heart broken. You even know how it feels when someone you love betrays you. Yet you find yourself willing to put yourself out there for this guy. You don't care about what has happened to you before. This means that you choose to fall in love with him.
Are You Being Pressured To Like Him?
Are your friends pushing you towards liking this person? Do you find yourself only thinking about him whenever your friends keep hyping him up and then promptly forget about him after? If so, then you're susceptible to suggestions. You don't really like him, you just think you have to like him because of your friends.
Have You Moved On?
Are you only considering being with this guy because he looks like someone from your past that you haven't really moved on from? Or perhaps, you're thinking of him as a replacement for someone else. If so, then you don't like the guy.
Do You See Him A Lot?
Have you interacted with him a lot? Because you can't trust your feelings after a couple of phone calls and one date. You need to actually see him a lot before you can fully make up your mind about him.
Are You Looking For Signs That He Likes You?
When you like someone, you're going to constantly search for signs that he feels the same way. So if you find yourself recalling all the details of your interaction- everything he said, including his body language- in order to figure out his feelings, then yes, you like him.
Are You Just Comfortable?
Of course, you want someone that you're comfortable with. However, there's a difference between wanting someone with whom you can be yourself and choosing the safe, comfortable option because you don't want to take risks.
Are You Still Looking At Other Potential Boyfriends?
Do you still consider other potential boyfriends? Do you still have dating apps on your phone? Do you still say yes to blind dates? Because if that's so, then you really don't like him. Perhaps you just like his attention, but he's not the one for you.
Do You Want To Impress His Friends?
If you find yourself wanting to make a good impression on his family and friends, this means that you really like him. If you didn't, you wouldn't be too worried, because you don't care how they'll see you. But if you do like him, you know that whatever they say about you can potentially change his mind, which is why you're worried.
Have You Had Deep Conversations?
You can't really like a guy unless you know him deep down. You can't just know about his favorite color or favorite food.
You have to also know about his stance on marriage, possible traumas, father issues, secret passions, and emotional vulnerabilities. Maybe he still acts like a child, and you can't trust him. You can only know about these things if you have in-depth conversations.
Are You Interested In Playing Games?
If you're tempted to use the rules of the love game on him, such as replying only after a couple of days, then it means you don't seriously like him. Perhaps you're bored, and you think he wants to play, too. If you really liked him, you'd want to be with him without playing games.
Have You Considered Making The First Move?
If you have, then yes, you do like him. Even if you don't follow up on it, it doesn't matter. Just the fact that you've been thinking about making the first move makes him a viable candidate for you. It means you really like him, and you can't wait around for him to make a move.
Do You Ignore Red Flags?
Ignoring red flags doesn't mean that you like the guy. On the contrary, it means that you haven't taken to heart his attitude and behavior. It's probably because you're thinking it'll be safer to sweep things under the rug. But it's not. If you really liked him, you'll call him out on some of his more unpleasant behaviors. Then, you'll decide if it's something you can live with.
How Do I Know If I Like Him Like That?
You'll know that you like him like that if you find yourself getting jealous whenever he talks about or is out with someone else. Or maybe you're thinking about him before you sleep and first thing in the morning when you wake up. Perhaps you're even making an effort and putting yourself out there.
How Do You Know If You Secretly Like Him?
You will know if you secretly like him if you can't help yourself from getting jealous or annoyed at the thought of him being with someone else. Perhaps you're even imagining life with him in the future, with two children. You probably think about him a lot and want to call him whenever you're upset or happy.
Do I Love Him, Or Am I Just Lonely?
If you find yourself thinking about him even when you're busy with your job, going out with your friends, and essentially living your life, then yes, you do like him. However, if you only think about him whenever you're sad and alone, then yes, you're just lonely.