Nobody in this world is perfect. Sometimes, one may not be aware of the discomfort they cause others. Whether they do it on purpose or not, it is wise to make themself aware of which traits can be toxic and avoid developing them.
A toxic person is someone whose thoughts, words, and actions harm one’s self and others. No one would love to spend time with a toxic person.
It’s easy to tell when another person is being toxic or not, yet few people realize their own toxic qualities.
Here are 30 common toxic traits to look out for to avoid toxic people in your life or prevent from becoming one yourself.
Manipulation is a toxic trait because it includes exploiting others for the other person’s benefit. Unfortunately, only a few people recognize this early on in relationships since the person being manipulated is typically oblivious to the fact that he or she is being manipulated.
This is the first on the list of toxic traits since this is the most common for a lot of people. A lot of people associate this with romantic relationships, but it can exist in other types of relationships, like with friends and family.
Another popular toxic trait is the habit of lying. While it is necessary to tell a lie sometimes, it becomes toxic if a person uses it with total disregard for the other person’s trust.
Whenever faced with a bad situation, you have the option of either being spiteful about it or opting to be understood instead. Whichever you choose is tolerable unless it results in a downright heartless and malicious act.
There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing one’s self sometimes, especially if it is at the cost of preserving one’s welfare. On the other hand, always putting one’s interest over the welfare of another is just a selfish act that, if left unchecked, will eventually turn into toxic behavior.
Another toxic trait you may usually encounter in today’s world is a person’s feeling of entitlement. Believe it or not, there are people out there who feel as if they are entitled to all the good things in life even though they did nothing to deserve it.
In romantic relationships, cheating is an obvious red flag as it is an attempt to deceive the other person into believing a pretense of love and commitment.
When a person cheats, it mentally scars the person that was cheated on, as well as the person who cheated, since, in some instances, they will grow to believe that they deserve less because they have cheated in the past.
Arrogance is a common downfall of people, especially when it comes to relationships. This is the belief that a person is superior to another, and it usually leads to negative behaviors like pulling other people down or refusing to hear other people’s constructive criticism.
- Overly competitive
Competition is good, but being overly competitive all the time is destructive. Overly competitive people are too focused on getting ahead of others without any regard for their feelings and welfare.
Being jealous all the time is deadly, especially when feelings of jealousy turn to feelings of resentment over another person. Instead of spending one’s energy on bettering one’s self, it is wasted on envious thoughts about coveting someone’s possession.
Fault-finders are one of the worst people to be around with. They are quick to point out your mistakes but would be blind to their own. This negative trait particularly turns toxic when they insist on blaming other people for their wrongdoings.
Sometimes, it can’t be helped to hold a grudge over someone who has wronged you in the past. However, the normal thing to do is gradually letting go of it. Vengeful people fail to do this because they allow themselves to be consumed by grudges.
There are instances in life when it is necessary to conceal how a person feels because that would reap the most benefit for most people. However, putting up a front that you are someone who cares a lot about other people is unacceptable because you deceive yourself and others.
Another toxic trait of people is their unwillingness to conform when the occasion calls for it. There’s nobly holding on to your principles, and there’s simply being downright stubborn.
Criticism is good, but you should only be so kind as to give one when the other person warrants it. Judgmental people take pleasure in giving unwarranted opinions to other people because it makes them feel a sense of validation.
Self-pity is never a healthy habit to develop, especially if you have gone through a lot of undesirable experiences in life. It gives people the mindset of allowing one’s self to be victimized over and over again.
People with attention-seeking tendencies are the ones you should always try to avoid, especially in relationships, because attention-seekers often place high expectations of their partner and would constantly nag at them for not giving them enough time.
Taking other people’s council into consideration is a good habit when it comes to improving one’s self, but overly depending on other people’s opinion of you just so you feel better is toxic.
- Overly dramatic
People who enjoy drama in life can be hard to deal with, especially in the context of a romantic relationship. A simple argument can turn into your worst nightmare when you disagree with an overly dramatic person.
- Constantly Self-comparing
Constantly self-comparing is a form of jealous behavior, and it could either boost your self-confidence to the point of arrogance or cause it to spiral down so much that you lose your will to try.
Negative thinkers are toxic and infectious. This self-limiting mindset forces an individual to shy away from the possibilities of enjoying life in general.
Similar to a person who needs other people’s validation, people pleasers or bootlickers fail to grasp their true worth because they are too preoccupied with pleasing others in hopes that they will like them back.
Life is not perfect, and it is not meant to be lived perfectly. Believing otherwise is simply setting yourself on the path of frustration where you repeatedly question your self-worth in the face of imperfection.
- Easily offended
It is inevitable that in your everyday life, you come across people who may seem like they got annoyed or displeased at something you did. While it's okay to take accountability for your conscious misgivings, it is never a good habit to always take such anger and negative emotions personally.
- Chained to the past
Be it in a relationship or a friendship, it is not healthy to dwell too much on the past, especially if there are a lot of things that you should be grateful for in the present. Letting yourself be chained to the past, especially the tragic parts of it, only helps your negative emotions to fester like a disease.
- Anxious about the future
Caging one’s self in the past is toxic, and worrying about the future more often than healthy is also a toxic trait. While every single one of us is uncertain of what the future holds, being anxious about it loses our chance to live in the present moment.
By worrying too much about what is to happen, we deprive ourselves of the chance to be grateful for the gift of the present. It also turns us into a ticking time bomb that gets more destructive with each passing second of thinking about what the future holds, and in the process, you let yourself get consumed by fear.
- Over-dependence on technology
In our age today, technology plays a huge role in how a lot of people spend their daily life. While it certainly does a lot to make multiple tasks more easily accomplished, there is also the downside of developing an unhealthy dependence on it.
Overusing technology, such as being addicted to gaming or using social networking sites daily, is a toxic trait that should be kept in check as it may lead to more serious problems that may harm a person.
- Neglectful of personal welfare
Often, when dealing with toxic traits, a lot of people only recognize obvious external behavior like arrogance, selfishness, and fault-finding.
It is also important to recognize that traits such as consciously neglecting care for one’s self are also toxic traits that must be avoided.
This is usually the case in a romantic relationship where people seem to have a twisted idea of love as something that must be enduring and tolerated. While this may be true for some aspects, it should not be prioritized over one’s self-care.
Related: Is my relationship toxic
- Overly reserved
There are overly outspoken people, and there are those on the other side of the spectrum who would still give no opinion on a specific matter at all, even if it's a life-and-death situation. These kinds of people made a habit of keeping their opinions only to themselves and refusing the chance to speak out and tell other people what they have to say.
They are usually the ones who just choose to go with the flow, even to the point of tolerating instances when people treat them with disregard for their emotions.
- Constantly gloomy
No one should deny anyone their right to mourn or grieve over a loss or a period of grief. But that also goes to say that you should not rob yourself of the chance to recover from such pain. Just as pain demands to be felt, it also demands to be released.
Failure to free yourself of such an emotional burden is like chaining yourself to the darkest corner of your existence. It eventually transforms into self-destructive behavior that harms you and those around you.
- Resisting change
Starting something entirely new is scary, but it should never prevent you from embracing the possibility of experiencing something new that life has to offer. There is always the burden of uncertainty that you are letting yourself experience either the beautiful or ugly side of life.
However, this makes life fulfilling, and as you insist on staying in your comfort zone, you lose your chance to grow and adapt to constant changes.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.