You might be wondering, "Why is my boyfriend so rude to me?" and you're not alone. You want to fix this problem but don't know how? I'm here to help!
In this blog post we'll discuss reasons why your partner might be rude and ways for you to handle it.
It's not easy dealing with someone who is disrespectful or mean so let me walk you through some options for handling these situations in a way that leaves everyone feeling respected, heard, and cared about.
Related: My boyfriend talks to me rudely
Why is my boyfriend rude? - 11 reasons
A lot of things are possible...
"My boyfriend is rude and says things without even thinking about my feelings."
"Why doesn't he notice it when I'm upset?"
"I hate it when he flirts with other girls like it's nothing to me."
Does any of these ring a bell?
Sadly, men can be rude to their partners or spouses. It's not always intentional, but it still doesn't feel good when they are.
If you want to get to the bottom of why he's being all mean, check out these 11 possible reasons!
1. He's not serious about the relationship.
If you feel like he doesn't care about your feelings at all, there's a huge chance he's not planning on taking you seriously. Remember ladies, actions always speak louder than words. No matter how many times he tells you the relationship is serious and means everything to him, only his actions can verify if it's true.
2. You're misunderstanding his words.
Perhaps, he's not a rude boyfriend. He just doesn't know how to say what he means. Just because your boyfriend says you look okay doesn't mean that his standards of beauty are low. Sometimes, guys don’t have the best way with words and end up saying things that seem worse than what they really meant.
3. You two are entirely different people.
Do you two disagree all the time? If your basic principles and point of view in life don't match, it can be a challenge for both of you to get along. So him being rude or mean is no surprise! You both need to get your principles straight and see if they fit before taking things to the next level.
4. He's playing with you.
Does your boyfriend love to be unpredictable and play mind games with you? Then maybe, just maybe, he has bad boy potentials and only wants to play with your feelings to boost his ego. Guys like these are mostly too young to be in serious relationships.
5. He thinks you're clingy and is annoyed with it.
It's true that every guy needs his space every once in a while. It could be that he doesn't like it when you're around him all the time, so he acts rude to make you get off. However, if this isn't the case and you know that your feelings are valid, you should think twice about dating a man who makes you feel bad about yourself.
6. He likes someone else.
Oops, this is a hard pill to swallow. Your boyfriend being habitually rude to you may also mean that he's thinking of being with someone else. Maybe he's not necessarily cheating on you but he is acting like a coward. He's trying to annoy you into breaking up with him, instead of him telling you how he really feels.
7. You have a bad habit of letting his rudeness pass.
Has he been rude to you many unreasonable times and you just disregard them on purpose? It's easy for most men to think that what they're doing is fine as long as you don't protest. You should communicate your feelings better and let your partner know if he upsets you with the things he says or does.
8. He has a bad character.
No two people have the same childhood experience, not even siblings. And you're well aware that it plays a huge part in building a person's character. Perhaps he wasn't raised in a loving home and thus developed a not-so-good character as an adult. People like these need time to heal and mature first, and they're not always worth the wait.
9. He lacks the right manners to deal with women or people in general.
Quite similar to what's mentioned above, maybe your boyfriend thinks it's okay to be rude to women because it's what he was programmed to think as a child. You can't change a person overnight, especially if it took him years to develop his undue manners towards women or even people in general.
10. He wants to get even.
Maybe your boyfriend is feeling a bit bitter and wants to get back at you for something. It could be that he feels like you're the one who's been rude or mean to him in the past, so now it's his turn to do the same thing. Again, the best thing you can do is to clearly communicate your feelings. Of course, admitting your mistakes can also go a long way.
11. He has personal issues he needs to deal with.
Are you aware of how things are going on at his home? At work? With his friends? If you’re thinking, “my boyfriend is rude because of me,” perhaps it isn’t about you at all. You need to check out what is happening to him when you’re not around. He can be battling an addiction or wants more care and attention from his parents.
How to handle a rude boyfriend?
As a general rule, here are 6 ways to handle a rude boyfriend:
1. Communicate your feelings.
The best thing to do when your partner hurts you or does something that makes you feel bad is to let him know. Explain to him why his words or actions upset you. When you do that, you’re giving him the chance to avoid doing it again. It's not about being mean, it's only making sure that everyone feels heard.
If you are ever in a public place when that happens, wait until you are alone together. Men can be bad at reading women’s body language. It’s best to help them understand how you feel by telling them exactly how you feel.
2. Help him determine when you’re upset.
If you’ve been in a few relationships with men, you’ll know that they are really bad at figuring out whether you’re mad or not. It’s never usually their intention to neglect your feelings! To work things out, you can help him know how you behave when you’re upset.
For example, some women cross their arms and slam things on the counter when they’re offended. Others frown and talk back roughly. Some just simply turn silent for a long while. Informing your partner of these non-verbal signs will keep them from second-guessing.
3. Stand up to it.
Being gentle isn’t always the best way to let your boyfriend know he’s being rude. Especially when it has become a habit and it doesn’t seem like he’s willing to change, call him out on his bad behavior. For example, if he’s being mean to you in front of your friends, you can tell him upfront. He may or may not find it okay, but it can be better than letting such type of behavior pass.
4. Help him deal with his unnecessary behavior.
You can determine if a guy is being sincere about wanting to adjust his behavior towards you. If that is the case, and he’s having trouble changing his words or actions, you can help him out. For example, if you find it rude when he says your hair looks “awful,” you can tell him to use a different word and say it in a more constructive tone.
5. Seek professional help for you and your boyfriend.
A lot of us are dealing with psychological or behavioral issues without knowing it. Make sure to watch for changes in your partner's behavior. If you notice that the way he acts doesn't change, or even gets worse, there may be some serious issues with your relationship that require professional help.
6. Call it quits.
If things don’t go the way it’s comfortable to you, it may be a sign to prioritize your welfare and call the relationship quits. This one is the hardest among the other options, but it can be the best thing to do.
Wrapping it up
Remember ladies, a relationship is meant to make you feel loved and secure, not stressed out and clueless.
Unless you see a sincere desire to change, a relationship may not be worth the time and love you are putting into saving it.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.
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