There are a lot of possible reasons why guys might not like a girl. You may think it's because of your looks, but there is more to the story than that. There could be many other factors at play here, and you need to know what they are so you can work on them to attract your future boyfriend.
Here are the 17 most likely reasons why guys might don't like you:
- You Have a Bad Attitude
- You Are a Drama Queen
- Insufficient Physical Chemistry
- You're Very Shy
- You Are Too Self-Centered
- You Don't Talk to Guys
- You Have Commitment Issues
- You Are Overly Talkative
- You Are a Poor Listener
- You Have Trust Issues
- You Intimidate Guys with Your Presence
- It's Hard to Cooperate with You
- You Are Too Hesitant
- Because You're Too Needy
- You Are Pushing Too Hard
- Your Expectations Are Too High
- You Are Acting Aggressively, Directly- or Indirectly
Related: Why Won't Guys Approach Me
Fixing Your Looks
So yes, it is time to look in front of the mirror and figure out what's going on. I take it you are interested in getting a guy, and a happy ever after, since you're reading this article.
What do you see when you look in front of the mirror?
A strong, independent woman? Okay, I'll take that.
But, what else do you see, surface-wise? Do you see those bushy eyebrows? Or that rough skin? What about those dark circles under your eyes?
Aha! So you do see it? Now, what do you think about it? Seeing as you haven't done anything about them. Maybe you're the kind of girl who says, "My true love wouldn't care what I look like," and you'd be right.
But then again, love is not instantaneous. Attraction is. Love takes time, a lot of work, and yes, a lot of accepting the other person's weirdness and quirks. But we're talking about attraction here. After all, you have to catch a guy's attention before you both can do the love work.
Related: Manifesting a Boyfriend
How will you get a guy to even look at you if you're looking none too fresh and smelling a little ripe? Even strong independent women need to take care of themselves first. Another thing, do you want a guy who looks like he hasn't showered for a while?
Girl, you can't want a hot and handsome stranger who looks like a walking advertisement for Hugo Boss if you can't even take care of yourself. Don't put the men in such high standards that you refuse to work under yourself.
Work on yourself. Don't do anything too drastic, like going under the knife. THAT IS NOT NECESSARY. Just make yourself look as nice as you can with good grooming and regular showers. Maybe throw in a little light make-up every now and then. Invest in that body cream- pamper yourself! This isn't just for the guys, you know. It's mostly for you, too.
Here's the thing, people are more attracted to happy people. If you are happy, it will show. And yes, guys will like you more. You may even have to reject a few. You glow when you're happy. And you will be a lot happier if you love yourself, and it shows.
Related: Shooting your shot with a guy
Fixing Your Attitude
Okay, so you're a lady boss. You take no lip and tolerate no stupidity. This is good. This shows that you are confident about your intelligence and skills, and this is always appreciated. We need more women like you.
The question is, how do you treat people who don't quite live up to your expectations? Do you throw them bodily out of the room? Or do you cut them down to the quick and make them feel like nothing?
You see, this is the kind of attitude we see on screen, and we think, "What a badass!". But to apply this in real life? I don't believe that's a good idea. You might want to think about finding another way to cut through.
Have you seen the recent statistics on depression, anxiety, and suicide? Do you want to be another reason for the increase of such numbers?
No. It is one thing to ream someone for not doing a proper job, but to call them stupid and other deeply personal insulting names? That's hardly necessary. It will probably make you feel better, but then you will feel like such an (excuse the French) jerk because of your behavior after a while.
Related: Guide to flirting with guys
And if you do feel remorse, imagine how the other person is feeling. And then ask yourself this, "Would you want to be on the other end of your tirade?" Maybe you'll justify your actions by saying something like you won't be stupid enough to make the same mistake.
Good for you. Maybe you haven't noticed, but everyone is different. Now ask yourself this, "Do you want to befriend such a person?"
No. And if nobody wants to befriend you, not one guy will want to be near you.
Don't get me wrong, it is good to know your goals and to be confident. But no one likes a bully. And take away your brilliant mind and inner strength. That's exactly what you've become.
You can be strong without being a jerk, you know. The difference is how you treat people. Not your equals, or betters. But people who don't quite live up to your expectations.
Contrary to popular opinion, being nice and kind is not overrated. It is always preferable.
No, I am not saying you can't be angry, especially when warranted. You can. Just don't be toxic or harmful.
Am I telling you to mellow down? No. Please, by all means, exercise your right to be a strong, independent woman. And if guys are afraid of your strength, mind, and independence, they won't interest you anyway.
Be a fearsome woman who treats people kindly, and reserve your scary face for people who actually deserve it. Strength has its appeal, but no one you want will be attracted by aggression and an unkind attitude.
Having An Opinion And An Open-Mind
This is the 21st Century, and yes, women are allowed to have opinions. Now, take note that not all men appreciate women who have their own minds. Which is fine. You don't want those kinds of men anyway.
Having an opinion is good. But to put blinders on, to reject any other opinion that doesn't jive with yours? That's juvenile. And frankly, a little disquieting.
Don't be too set on your ways that you miss some of the finer things in life. Be open-minded. Heck, be open- to new ideas, new people, new experiences. Yes, safe is comfortable. And it is always nice to be comfortable.
But nice is too tame, yes? For someone who wants to live, I think it's time to be a little more adventurous. Experience life. Make life happen. Don't just live to survive. Be free. Be cautious. Be happy. Be angry. Be content. Be curious! Be a complex human being.
Guys who are worth your time will be attracted to your energy. They won't want a listless female who works and comes home to sleep, only to repeat the same cycle the next day.
Have adventures. Meet new people. Take breaks! Laugh out loud! Don't let life slide. Enjoy yourself. Once you do, people will enjoy you, too.
What do you really need to do to get guys to like you? Let's boil it down to this: "People, not just guys, won't like you if you don't even like yourself."
That's it. That's the truth. You could be wandering around aimlessly, asking yourself, "Why don't guys like me?" when all along you've been asking the wrong question. I think the best question to ask is, "Why don't I like me?"
You see, we go through life wanting and craving attention and praise from other people, and we fail to realize how important it is to love ourselves first.
No, don't be selfish. You don't want to be too selfless and giving, either. Cut yourself some slack, and learn how to walk the thin line in between. And learn how to keep your balance.
Self-love is the key to happiness. If you have this, your self-respect and self-esteem will be unassailable. And even if you don't get a guy and a happy ever after, it won't matter because you like yourself and really enjoy your own company.
How do I know? Chalk it up to experience, wisdom that comes with age, and people-watching. You learn a lot by observing people. And by overthinking in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, instead of counting sheeps.
You should try it sometime if you don't want to take my word for it. Go to the park, and watch people. Close your eyes for ten seconds, and then open them without any specific direction in mind. Now, tell me, where did your eyes land? To the miserable wretch in the corner? Or to the happiest person you can find?
A happy person's smile is like the brightest star- attractive, sure, but painful to see for any length of time, especially if you're a sad person. But you can't keep your eyes off it. No matter how much you try to move your sight away, it will always be drawn back to happiness.
So, remember, before you go on needing love from someone else, try to apply a little tender loving care to yourself and see how far that's going to take you. Self-love is the best kind of love, and only you can give it to yourself.
Once you do, everything else will just fall into place. And you wouldn't need to worry about why guys don't like you anymore. It wouldn't matter. Because by then, you'll like yourself. And that will be the end of your doubts and frustrations.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.