Breakups are never easy. You've invested so much time and energy into building a relationship with someone else, only to find out that they're no longer interested in you.
While breakups are painful, there's always hope. If you learn to recognize the signs that your ex will never come back, then you can start looking forward to the next chapter in your life.
Related: Signs your ex is missing you after the breakup
The good news is that you can actually predict whether or not your ex will ever come back. In this article, I'm sharing the top signs that your ex will probably never come back.
Here are the signs he will never come back:
He Finds Someone New
This is one of the most obvious signs he will never come back. I mean, if he has found someone new, then it makes sense that he won't be thinking about you anymore, wouldn't it?
Sometimes, after we break up, we torture ourselves by looking for some signs that our partner actually regrets breaking up with us and wants to get back together. So we stalk their social media accounts and try to fool ourselves that they really want to come back.
Related: These are the signs when your ex is pretending to be over you
However, in our delusion, we fail to see all the signs that he has indeed moved on. A new girl clears up the fog of tenacity from our bloodshot eyes quickly enough. And depending on how we look at it, the new girl could be a blessing in disguise or a boyfriend-thief that we would curse until the end of our lives.
Food for thought: If the new girl never entered the picture, would you be able to move on?
He Returns Your Stuff
This is one of the signs we can use to figure out if our partners still think about us or not. Naturally, after a breakup, a guy will want to clean their place out of any reminder that we were ever in their life. That is if he really is ready to move on.
However, if he is stalling, even after you've called him up about returning your stuff, that means he's either really busy, or he wants to keep your things. Or maybe you're reading too much into this.
However, if he calls first and sets a time and date so he can return all of your things, it clearly means he wants you gone. They obviously, desperately want to move on. And they couldn't when they could still see the things that remind them of us. So they clear them out.
And when they leave the stuff on our doorstep to avoid an encounter, potential discussion, and possible tears, then it's really final- the relationship is toast.
Related: How to recover after coming on too strong
He Never Calls Or Texts
Sometimes after a breakup, both parties maintain open communication. Some attempt to, at least, stay friends, while some want to keep the line open for a possible comeback. This is inadvisable.
Staying friends after a breakup is a myth. No one can stay friends with an ex. Unless, of course, you didn't love each other enough for that love to turn into resentment and possible hate.
The only reason you could have for maintaining your communication is that you both think you can still work it out. So if he's not answering your texts or calls, or if he isn't calling you at all, period, then it's time to call it quits. You will hurt no one but yourself if you hold on to that connection that is tenuous, at best, toxic, at most.
And, it would hurt a lot more if you try to call them up, and they'll answer with a "Who is this?", instead of not answering at all. When your number gets deleted, it really is time to hightail it out of there.
Related: When you want to text him so bad, but you shouldn't
He's Not Jealous
What does it mean if he's not jealous, even after you've gone out of your way to make it seem like you've successfully moved on with another guy? Or maybe you've gone temporarily insane and have been trying to gather signs that he is still into you, and you rope another guy into it, but then he doesn't react.
Well, it could be that he is a very good actor who just wants to save face, so he doesn't show his jealousy. A much simpler explanation though, is he doesn't care about you enough anymore, and his feelings for you have changed from love and tenderness to apathy, which hurts and stings, at the same time.
The idea of an ex not being jealous post-break-up can be a difficult pill to swallow. It's hard enough that we are going through an emotional rollercoaster, but to have to accept that he doesn't care anymore hurts like hell. However, for our sake, we have to.
He Deletes Your Pictures
We all know that it can be really hard to get over an ex. And the worst part is, they don't have to do anything for us to feel that pain. They also don't have to say a word for us to miss them and wonder what they're up to. It's just one of those things we're left with after a breakup- the feeling that we'll never be happy again until we see them.
So we go to our social media and look at our happy pictures together. Which makes us somehow better, but also oddly worse. We try to shake it off, but it doesn't go away. And then we see that little tag with the Instagram handle, and we are overcome with this powerful urge to stalk him.
And since we have no self-control whatsoever when it comes to our ex, we do it. We go to his profile and look for our faces, only to discover that it's not there anymore. It's gone. He's deleted us from his social media account. And, most probably, from his life as well.
Frankly speaking, there's no coming back from that. No one deletes pictures and numbers if they think there's even the tiniest bit of possibility that the relationship can be fixed.
So if he has deleted your pictures, don't hold on to that hope that you'll reconcile, and try to find your way again, but this time, without him in your life.
He Suggests Staying Friends
For some, this is a sure sign of getting back together. To others, it's just another manipulation tactic to make the person want things they can't have.
If we are ever in a situation where an ex wants to stay friends after a breakup, then chances are, they've already moved on and found their new love interest elsewhere. They don't really want to stay friends with us. Instead, they want to be friends with the person who's filling up that spot in their life- and for some reason, maybe because they think it will make them feel better about leaving.
Another reason they may want to remain friends because it's much easier to hang on and stay in touch with someone who doesn't have any expectations of them than to take the risk of meeting somebody new that might be more than they can handle.
And because when you're friends, it's not as scary to hang out with somebody with the possibility of being rejected- because rejection does happen! That fear of getting hurt is much less intense if the other person isn't someone who has been there for us in a romantic way. We know that this friendship won't end in a breakup. Because it already did.
He Avoids You
Naturally, an ex would want to avoid you after a breakup, especially if he initiated it. Besides, a lady always knows when an ex avoids seeing her. Especially an ex whom she was never really friends with. But now that it's over and the dust has settled a bit from their breakup, there is this awkwardness between them. And so he avoids her, and she pretends to not notice this or comment about it.
The thing is, she knows he's guilty about the whole breakup. And they have mutual friends with whom they are still in contact. So it can't be avoided that sometimes they see each other in social events, and even casual dinners. The tension is almost unbearable. And maybe it's just on her part, but they look away at the same time before anything else could happen.
Related: The signs when he doesn't want a relationship with you
Or maybe she knows that he's avoiding her, but she also knows that it isn't because of some sort of guilt or anything. He just needs to process what happened as much as she does, maybe more so since this was his first serious relationship too.
Maybe it felt nice when they were together, and it felt bad when they ended things. But the way he avoids her now is like a confirmation that she's right--that this was good for them as much as it's not. It hurts to have him avoid her in person, but there's too much water under the bridge.
He Tells You To Move On
When an ex tells a lady to move on, it can be confusing. It could mean that he's ready for new relationships and is trying to let go of any lingering feelings. But if this guy just got out of a relationship, there are many other reasons why he might say move on to an ex. He may feel guilty about what happened between them and wants her to be okay, so he doesn't feel so shitty anymore.
Or it could be that he feels certain that she's not the one for him, but he doesn't want to hurt her by telling her what's really going on. But it could never be a sign that his feelings are stronger than he expected them to be, and it has made him question whether he wants to try again. Because he won't want to try again- not if he's told her to move on.
When he tells her to move on, this really means that he doesn't want the relationship anymore, and he wants her to think the same way. Perhaps he feels as if she's holding on to him and to the relationship when all he wants to do is let go. And when he lets go, he wants her to do the same, to make it a clean break.
When an ex says to move on, it is one of the clearest signs that he really wants things to be over. There's no coming back after this.
He Cares, But Not For You
This is one of those things that is immediately apparent, even before the breakup happens. A lady notices all the subtle and not-so-subtle things he does to show he doesn't care about her anymore. And even though it hurts her, she will also have to face the fact that a breakup looms on the horizon.
Once they break up, and he shows her absolutely no residual love or care, (perhaps it is because the breakup was particularly painful for both parties), it means he's ready to move on. Maybe he's ready to love and care about other people. Or perhaps the breakup drained him, and he'd like to take a break from caring.
Either way, if he couldn't summon enough energy to care about her posting a picture with some other guy, that's a sure sign he's had enough. Or maybe she sent him a drunk text, and he left it on seen. That's harsh. But sometimes, even when the truth is harsh, it doesn't make it any less true.
He Says "It's Not You, It's Me
When a guy uses this cliched line, that is a sure sign that he really wants to dump the girl, but he doesn't know how to let her down easily. Yes, he does care about her feelings, but not enough to be honest and explain how he really feels.
Maybe he doesn't have the guts to tell her that she's not the kind of girl he's looking for, or maybe he doesn't want to bother explaining at all. Either way, no matter how much she wants to believe his explanation about him not being good enough for her, it doesn't change the fact that he is breaking up with her.
The truth is, a lot more ladies prefer this cliched letdown rather than get a real, ugly, and personal one. This way, it's a lot more impersonal. Sometimes, we like to escape reality rather than face the truth. And yes, at times, that's okay. However, a breakup where you really have a proper conversation, and maybe fight, with the other party is necessary to make it as clean a break as possible.
And when he tops it off with a "You deserve better" line, which means 'Bye,' in boy-speak, you should just let him go. And don't go holding your breath for a reconciliation, either. I assure you, it won't happen.
He Trusts Everyone But You
What does it mean if an ex doesn't trust us anymore after breaking up? Well, for one, he might not be ready to move on positively. It is also highly possible that the ex feels betrayed by the lady somehow, which makes it difficult for him to trust the people around him.
Which is probably why he doesn't want to be around her anymore. Trust that is lost is something we cannot regain with just a snap of our fingers. Once it's gone, it's gone forever. And while some couples are willing to work on rebuilding it, it's not a walk in the park, and nothing will ever be the same again.
It's not uncommon for a man to be insecure and feel like he can't trust his ex-girlfriend after they break up. That way, if you start talking to him again or invite him over, it will make sense why he doesn't want anything more than friendship with you.
However, sometimes the lack of trust isn't about your relationship with him. It's about his relationship with himself. He may not trust that he can get over what had happened to him a long time ago (before you came into the picture) and move on to find a new girlfriend.
You Gotta Move On
So if he is showing signs of not wanting you back, it's time to move on and maybe find someone who does. It may feel like the end of your world right now, but take solace in knowing that there are plenty more guys out there who could be more suited for you once you're ready to wade back in!
Remember that you deserve all the best things life has to offer. Don't let him keep affecting your happiness forever. After all, he's not letting you or your breakup mess up his life.
And if it looks like you've tried everything and he still doesn't want to be with you, it's time for you to let him go. We know that this might not come easy but we also know that there's someone out there who will treat you better than he did. So take a deep breath and enjoy the next chapter in your life!
If you know deep down in your heart that he's not on the same page as you, it may be time to move on. It sounds harsh, but if he doesn't want what you want, then there is nothing more for you to do than try and get over him.
You have to move on. He is not coming back, and it's time for you to let him go so that he can find someone who will love him unconditionally. It might be difficult, but the sooner you do this, the better off both of you will be. Give yourself some space and really think about what kind of relationship you want next, if any, at all.
You deserve to be happy. Don't let yourself get stuck in a cycle of constantly looking for it and never finding it because you're not going to have the energy or mental capacity for anything else. Learn how to move on by filling your heart with kindness instead of bitterness. Find new hobbies that will help distract you while allowing time for self-care activities like sleep, exercise, and meditation. Set boundaries so that your future relationships are healthy ones without any baggage weighing them down.
At the end of the day, you're going to have a better life if you learn how to love yourself enough to move on. It may not be easy at first, but it will become easier until eventually there is no pain left in your heart or mind. So don't stay stuck where you are right now. Let go of what hurts so that someday soon, all that's left is happiness.
There are a lot of reasons why a couple breaks up. It could be as simple as falling out of love or as cold as infidelity. Or maybe it's a lot more complicated than either. No matter the reason, the break is done. Sometimes it's a clean break. However, sometimes it does get messy.
And then there's always that chance that you both can make it work again if you so want. Sometimes, a guy can walk out on a girl and then come back after a couple of days, crawling and begging to be taken back.
This happens a lot, making it hard to move on immediately after a breakup. We are, subconsciously, waiting to see if our ex will come crawling back or if they'll walk away without even a backward glance.
This is why we must know the signs he will never come back. So we can put our lives back in order and move on after a couple of days (maybe more) of pity-party.
When you are reading this article, you are probably going through a tough time in your life. It is always difficult when the one we love (or loved) leaves and doesn't come back to us.
It can be very confusing for people who have never been there before, but it will get easier with time if you know what to look for. Hopefully now you know if you should wait for him to come back or not.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.
Leave a Reply