The excitement never fades whenever you are in the phase of starting a new romantic relationship with someone you like.
You suddenly want to know everything about this person– what they like to eat, their dream travel destination, biggest fears, and greatest hopes in life.
This is where the 21 questions game comes in handy.
Asking the right questions can help the two of you build a strong foundation in the initial stage of your relationship. It can also provide insights as to what to expect from each other, personal boundaries, dreams and aspirations, and most of all, plans for the future.
For more interesting questions, you may also want to check out these questions to ask on the second date, and third date questions, or how well do you know me questions.
Here are 21 questions to get to know each other on a deeper level.
1. What's the reason that caused you to cry recently?
This is a good question to ask if you want to know each other more personally. Whatever the person's answer to this question gives you an idea about the things that makes them vulnerable.
Just make sure to ask this compassionately because you want to avoid sounding as if you find their vulnerability funny.
Related: Heart touching love letters to make him cry
2. What's your greatest motivation in life?
This is another mushy question to ask, and it may be important to take note of their answer should the relationship transform into a more serious level.
Awareness of each other's motivations in life can help a relationship grow in mutual care and support.
3. What's something you want to do before you die?
By asking this question, they may give you an adventurous and daring answer, and depending on it, you can have an idea about what they greatly desire in life.
If the relationship gets more serious, this may also be a good thing to take note of as it may be a future shared experience.
4. What's the latest song you have sung to yourself or another person?
Whether the other person may have a gift for singing or not, music is always something anyone can enjoy. Ask what's the latest song stuck in their head.
You can also opt to ask what's the last song they sang to someone else.
5. What is your definition of friendship?
You will be able to get to know a person by how they give meaning to friendships.
By asking this question, you'll know if the person you're planning to get serious with is someone who values friends and are capable of maintaining a healthy one throughout the years.
6. How would you describe your relationship with your mom?
Many people believe that how a person treats their mom is also how they treat others. So, if you want to know how they treat people, you can always ask them to tell you about their relationship with their mother.
Related: Relationship questions game
7. Among your family members, whose death would be the most difficult to bear? Why?
In case you decide to ask this question, make sure to ask it in a kind manner as it may be too personal for some people. How they answer this question tells about the things they fear most in life.
8. What is your idea of a great retirement?
This may be decades ahead in the future, but it is fun to ask your guy about what they plan to do once they retire.
Their answer may include spending their retirement days with a special someone on a tropical beach or traveling across Europe.
9. What's one place in the world that is at the top of your travel bucket list?
Sometimes, you can tell a person's ultimate desire by how they answer this question. It may be a distant place or a place they once spent time in during childhood.
Whatever their answer may be, you will surely get to know what place they want to go to the most and whether they would love to take you along with them on that travel.
10. Do you believe that God or a supreme being exists?
Make sure you ask this question so that you know if you are on the same page or not when it comes to religion. This may be something you might want to ask early on if you mind much about what their answer will be.
11. What is something you're good at?
Maybe they have a hidden talent or something he's good at that they would be open to sharing with you. This is one good way to break the ice between the two of you and will help you appreciate the other person more.
12. Who is the closest person to you outside of the family?
Aside from family, you can also ask them who they are closest to when it comes to people outside of the family.
You can further ask about how their relationship with this person and the fondest memories they have of that person.
13. Have you ever tested positive for STD?
This may seem like an offending person, but let them know that you do not mean any offense as you simply just want to know.
Moreover, you can ask when was the last time they underwent testing, and the two of you can disclose to each other your answer to this question.
14. Do you still have unfinished business with your previous relationship?
If you want to take your relationship with them to the next level, you have to make sure that you have asked this question before that. Ask if their ex is still in the picture, and ask if there's a chance that the two of them will ever get back.
Asking this will help you be certain in deciding whether to pursue the relationship or not.
15. Do you plan to have kids in the future?
This may be too deep for a 21 questions game, but there's no harm in asking it. Before asking this question, make sure that you think it's appropriate and that you will not seem like a creepy person asking it.
It's important to know whether the two of you have similar plans for the future, especially when it comes to becoming a parent.
16. What is your definition of cheating in a relationship?
Red flags may be difficult to spot in the initial stages of the relationship, but the way they answer this question tells a lot about their thoughts about red flags in the relationship or whether they have a few.
17. What would you do today if you knew you were to die tomorrow?
This fearless question will surely yield a fearless answer, and you'll know a lot about what they truly value in life based on the answer.
18. What are you most grateful for in life?
If you want to get to know their character, then this is one of the questions you need to ask.
Having this deep and personal question encourages the other person to let down their walls and expose a vulnerable side of them to a significant other.
19. What are your thoughts about Valentine's day celebration?
To some people, Valentine's day celebrations are so overrated, while some look forward to spending that time of the year with the ones they love.
Hearing their answer to this question will give you an idea of what to expect for Valentine's day or other similarly related celebrations in the relationship.
20. In your opinion, should One stand by Their Partner no matter what?
Speaking of expectations, this is also a good question to ask in the initial stages of dating. Do they think that a person should not be too tolerant of their partner, or do they think that the perfect partner for them is a "ride or die" type?
Ask this question to know if you are on the same page.
21. Are you in for a serious relationship?
It is always good to ask this question early on in the talking stage because it will provide a clear picture of whether there is hope for a serious relationship in the future or not.
You have to know if the other person is expecting to take the relationship to the next level or if they are just looking for a casual fling.
Takeaway
All you have to do is ask whenever you need to know something. Communicating is an essential part of any relationship, and both parties should always be open to taking turns in expressing their desires and listening to what the other person has to say.
Asking the 21 questions is a great way to get to know each other better on a more profound and personal level. There's always something to ask and many things to get to know about your partner. Making this a habit will surely build a stronger and healthier relationship.
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