Feeling like your husband’s love has faded away? This guide will help you figure out if he’s really fallen out of love with you and what you should do about it.
While marriage can bring joy and companionship into your life, it can also be challenging when feelings change and the initial excitement and interest fades.
If you question your husband's love for you, keep reading to find out the 26 signs your husband isn’t in love with you anymore. The more you identify with these signs, the stronger the indication that he may not be in love with you as he once was.
He doesn’t show affection
When someone stops being affectionate, it can signify that they’re falling out of love.
It’s important to look out for things like if your partner stops doing little things for you, such as making you coffee in the morning, saying “I love you”, or buying you flowers.
If you notice that your partner is no longer affectionate towards you, it’s worth having a deeper conversation with him as it’s one of the obvious signs his love is fading.
He doesn’t initiate physical contact
Another tell-tale sign your husband could be losing love is that the physical intimacy in your marriage suddenly dries up.
Your husband no longer seems interested in being intimate with you, and when you do manage to get him in bed, it’s because you initiated it, and it lacks any real emotional connection.
He spends more time away from home
You may notice that your husband is always making excuses to be away from home or you. He may retreat into work or hobbies, which can also be a sign that something is wrong.
If he starts to overwork, spend more time with hobbies or engage in activities that decrease the time spent together, it could be a sign that he’s finding more pleasure in other activities or people.
He rarely does anything you ask him to do
When things are going well in a marriage, couples are always willing to help each other out and take care of things together.
But if your husband doesn’t love you anymore, he might not want to do the things you ask him to do.
He might grumble or make excuses when you ask him to help you with something. Even if he does help, it might not be as often or as willingly as before.
He acts selfishly
When someone starts to care less about their partner’s feelings, they may put their own wants and needs first without considering how it affects the other person.
If your husband isn’t in love with you anymore, he might start to do things that make him happy, regardless of how it makes you feel.
He might become less willing to compromise and make decisions that only benefit him. For example, choosing where to eat, where to go, or what to do is based on his preferences, not yours.
He doesn’t ask about your life
You and your partner used to talk a lot about your days and what was happening in your lives.
But somewhere along the line, he doesn’t seem interested in hearing about your day, work, friends, or family.
You’ve tried to keep the conversation going, but he doesn’t even respond or ask about your life.
He doesn’t listen
When you try to talk to him, it’s like you’re talking to a brick wall. Even if it’s about something important, like taking care of the kids or fixing the leaky roof, he’s just not really listening.
He might give you a grunt or nod, but you can tell his mind is somewhere else.
He avoids spending time with you
When a couple is in love, they usually enjoy going on dates and spending quality time together.
But when you notice that your husband is constantly making excuses to avoid date nights, it’s a sign that he might not have the same interest in spending time with you as before.
Sure, he might reluctantly take you out on special occasions, but even then, it feels like he’s not putting much effort into it.
He doesn’t give you compliments
It’s common for men to compliment a woman they love when she dresses up or looks nice.
Your husband doesn’t seem to notice or compliment you anymore, even when you make an effort to look good for him, and you can’t even remember the last time he said anything nice about you.
When the compliments gradually or suddenly stop, it could be a sign that your husband might not be feeling the same way about you as he used to.
He gets annoyed by small things
It’s normal for all of us to snap at our loved ones occasionally, but if this happens more frequently, it could indicate deeper issues in your marriage.
For example, you may have noticed that your husband gets annoyed quickly, even with small things, or raises his voice and says mean things to you.
He criticizes you more often
When someone no longer feels love for their partner, they may start nitpicking and finding issues with even small things.
Your husband may have unrealistic expectations and blame you for not meeting them, like commenting on your appearance and accusing you of not taking care of yourself.
This kind of behavior could indicate that he’s falling out of love.
He talks badly about you
It’s normal to talk to your friends or family about your partner sometimes, but when your husband starts talking badly about you in front of others, especially when you’re there to hear it, it’s crossing a line.
Even if he sometimes tries to brush it off as joking, it’s a sign that your husband doesn’t love you and respect you anymore.
He’s nicer to other people than he is toward you
if your husband treats other people better than he treats you, it’s a clear sign that he doesn’t love you as much as he did before.
He may ignore you but still hands out compliments and attention to other people. He may not be attentive when you talk to him but still shows interest when other people do.
If there’s a big difference in how he treats you compared to others, he might not value you or the marriage as before.
He’s never satisfied
Even if you go above and beyond to make your husband happy, it seems like he’s never satisfied, no matter what you do. You don’t even get a nice ‘thank you’ as he always finds something to complain about.
Taking you for granted is definitely not a good sign of a loving and healthy marriage.
He doesn’t make plans for your future together
Remember when you used to dream about your future together? You’d talk about starting a family, moving to a nicer place, and all the vacations you’d take. But those conversations don’t happen anymore.
It could be that your husband doesn’t see a long-term future with you. Even if he does, he doesn’t think anything will change or get better.
He doesn’t respect you
Disrespect is always a sign of a bad marriage.
Maybe he goes out for drinks with his friends without telling you when he’ll be home, tells you lies all the time, or spend money without your knowledge.
All of these small actions mean that he doesn’t respect you. And when there’s no respect, there’s no love. It’s as simple as that.
He regularly forgets important dates
Your husband forgets important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, work events, and hospital appointments. It doesn’t even matter if you put it on the calendar, he’ll still forget.
This isn’t a sign of a good marriage; it means that he doesn’t put much value on the dates and events that are important to you.
He uses your kids to hurt you
If you have kids together, your husband might try to become their favorite parent by putting you down and doing things to hurt your relationship with them.
Trying to turn your children against you is a big red flag in a relationship and shows that he doesn’t love or care about your feelings.
Related: 11 Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist
He’s flirtatious around other women
Your husband flirts with other women in front of you, and he doesn’t try to hide it.
Even if he doesn’t mean to hurt you, it’s an obvious sign that he has more interest in other women than in you and doesn’t love you as he used to.
He doesn’t care if you flirt with other men
If you occasionally try to make your husband jealous by flirting with other men, but he never reacts, it means his feelings for you have changed.
He no longer sees other men as a threat because he’s no longer in love with you.
He doesn’t communicate with you when you’re apart
At the beginning of your relationship, you used to talk and text all the time. But now, he doesn’t even answer your calls and takes a long time to reply to texts, if he even bothers at all.
It’s a clear sign that his feelings for you have changed and that he doesn’t think you’re as important as he used to.
He doesn’t miss you
When you’re not together, he tries not to talk to you, and when you’re back together, he doesn’t seem any happier to see you. It’s like you were never away.
People who are in love often can’t wait to reconnect and express how much they have missed each other, so it may be a sign that your husband has lost the emotional connection and he’s fallen out of love.
He avoids talking about the state of your relationship
He ignores you or changes the subject when you try to talk to him about the issues in your marriage.
If he doesn’t seem engaged or have any interest in saving the marriage, it’s a clear sign that he’s given up on the relationship and doesn’t see a future for the two of you.
He always blames you
If he agrees to talk about the problems in the marriage, he’ll likely put the blame on you.
It’s your fault for pushing him away, for changing, for wanting him to change, and for not trying hard enough. It feels like he’s blaming you for all your relationship problems.
But blaming you could be a sign that he hasn’t given up on the relationship yet, so maybe you still have a chance to save the marriage.
He doesn’t care about the state of the relationship
It seems like he’s not taking the time to ask about your thoughts and emotions about your relationship,
He’s more focused on himself and not showing much interest in your feelings, which could be a sign of loss of interest in you.
He doesn’t seek your support anymore
You may have noticed that your husband is dealing with all his difficulties alone and not turning to you for support or assistance.
He’s trying to figure everything out by himself rather than working with you as a team.
This behavior could be a sign that he’s lost the spark and connection that he once had with you.
What to Do to Save Your Marriage
Feeling like your husband has fallen out of love with you can be a devastating feeling, but you can still do the following in the hope of saving your marriage:
- Identify the source of your concerns: Know exactly what has changed in your relationship.
- Communicate with your husband: Have an open and honest conversation and carefully listen to his responses.
- Decide next steps: Once you have clarity on the situation of your marriage, discuss the next steps together.
- Seek professional help: A marriage therapist can help you work through your issues and find the best solutions to any problems you may be facing.
- Make time for each other: Even if it’s just a few minutes every day, it’s important to make time for each other to reconnect and build intimacy.
- Be willing to compromise: You’ll need to put aside your own wants and needs to find solutions that work for both of you.
- Be kind to yourself and your husband: Try to approach the situation with empathy and remember you’re both doing the best you can.
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Saving a marriage when one partner no longer feels the same way can be a difficult and emotionally challenging task, but it’s definitely not impossible.
It’s important to remember that it’s common for marriages to go through difficult times, and with the right approach and mindset, you can work through the issues and reignite the love and passion in the relationship.
It will take time, effort, and patience, but the outcome of a committed effort may lead to a happier and stronger marriage than before, which can be well worth the effort in the end.
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Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.