"I thought this guy likes me but now he ignores me. What do you think is going on? Is he just playing hard to get or does he not like me anymore?"
I know, it's so frustrating when you think someone likes you and then they completely stop talking to you.
It's hard to tell if he is playing games or not, but let's try to figure it out together!
It feels so good when you meet a guy, and everything feels right. You feel him, he feels you, but now it seems like he's changed overnight in ways that are hard to pinpoint.
Maybe he's a little busier? Or have you missed something?
You may not have the answers, but you know the vibe is definitely off. As confused as you feel, you may still be worried about coming off as pushy, so you don't make a fuss about it.
But as another day goes by, and another, and another, this feeling grows into worry and eventually some paranoia. This is when you are emotionally confronted with the pain of mixed signals and confusion.
Mixed signals and unanswered questions cause anxious thoughts to spread like wildfire in your mind.
One moment things were going well and then he ignores you without any explanation?
Why would he ignore you if he likes you?
First, you really need to know who you're dealing with here. Everyone has their reasons for everything they do or don't do, even though it may seem like you are the victim here. But that doesn't mean you have to endure the pain when someone suddenly disappears from your life.
When a guy suddenly ignores you, you deserve closure, and that's what makes it so hard to deal with. It's so hurtful that he left you without any answers or explanations. If you're looking for closure and the guy isn't giving it to you, this is the next best thing.
Understanding what might have gone wrong is a good way to get away from this miserable secret.
There could be many hard-to-accept reasons why he started ignoring you; here are a few:
1. Fear of commitment
This is a common and understandable problem. Bad feelings or unwanted sensations start to build up inside him, causing him to distance himself.
His biggest concern is getting hurt or even hurting you. Many past events lead to these kinds of thoughts and feelings. No one wakes up one morning and decides to deny love because it looks scary. Hurt emotions can be a tricky situation that allows a man to run away from something before getting more emotionally involved.
Less emotion, less risk of pain.
Related: Why does he act like a child?
If you're looking for clarity, approach him and ask him how he feels about the two of you. If his answer is still nothing, consider that your answer and move on.
2. He only wanted to get in your pants
One possibility can be that he used you to have sex, then once it didn't happen- or after it did, the interest was gone. Or, it's also possible he was lying about his feelings from the beginning and just wanted a one-night stand. It is not that uncommon for someone to say what they think will work in order to get into your pants.
It's not your fault, it's hard to know what someone is thinking or feeling. He's a liar and he'll do anything to get in your pants. Some guys are just players and are very hard to read. It's easy to see why a woman would be drawn to a smooth-talking, charming guy.
In order to find out if the charm is genuine, you must get to know him better and spend enough time together, building trust in him and solidifying attachments over time so that his true character can be revealed.
So, if you want to see if someone is a good man, you should try to get close to them. Spend time with them. This will help build trust and show their true character over time.
3. He cannot express himself
If a man is no longer attracted to you (this can be physical or non-physical), he may have a hard time expressing this honestly.
Sometimes two people don't fully connect on all levels. Depending on the person, this can be caused by anything from your pheromones to your sense of humor. This causes the mind to pull back before things get too serious or exhausting.
It doesn't mean people don't like you, but admitting something hurtful is obviously more likely to get you ignored than spoken out. Somehow, avoiding these uncomfortable situations is more easier for him than dealing with them.
It's also possible that he experienced infatuation and suddenly, the infatuation phase is over for him.
If you feel like he's suddenly disappeared, maybe worry a little about his safety, otherwise I'd start forgetting about the guy.
4. He has a secret Life
If a man you liked suddenly started ignoring you, you may be dealing with someone who needs to maintain his persona until he just can't anymore.
It could be lies, addictions, or conning. If someone is living a double life, it may allow him to truly believe and live in both of those double lives. He may enjoy his life with you, but it gets in the way of his other life or vice versa.
When conflict arises between these two lives, he doesn't want you to get between the lines; therefore, he will ignore you or stop talking to you altogether. This is done not only to avoid chaos, but also to keep these lives constantly separate.
Watch for strange patterns and suspicions that indicate if something malicious or unhealthy is going on.
Related: How does he feel when you ignore him
The most sinister of all reasons why a guy would ignore you is a personality disorder called narcissism, a type of empathy deficiency disorder.
This type of person would intentionally enjoy everything there is to give from you, only to leave you in pain and confusion.
Their whole motive for ignoring you is to manipulate your emotions in order to get a certain outcome that will benefit them. Narcissists are like vampires who seek out good-hearted people to destroy and suck them dry. It can be difficult to get rid of a narcissist.
So if he ignores you, consider yourself lucky, but make sure you don't give in to his devilish charms and get out of your life. If you have encountered a narcissist you may be confused by their many faces and personalities, beware of their manipulative methods, narcissists often use ignoring you as a tool to get their hands on you.
Read next: Psychology of ignoring someone
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