We have all been there, lying in bed and thinking about what if... What if I asked that guy out? Is that okay? What would he say? Would he laugh at me? Would he reject me?
It is a nerve-wracking thought because we are so used to being the ones who get asked out, but times have changed!
In fact, many guys love when women ask them out. They will feel special and excited because traditionally they have to make the first move.
So yes, it's absolutely okay to ask out a man as a woman!
If you're really feeling nervous about asking him out, consider this:
- He might say yes and then it could lead to something very good.
- Maybe he is "the one". But you will never know if you won't ask him out.
- If he says no, at least you'll know for sure that there's nothing going on with the two of you.
If you're in this situation you surely have a lot more questions, so let's answer them!
Yes, most guys are flattered when you ask them out. According to recent research, when women ask guys out 90% of the time, they really like it. They are honored that you're interested in them, and they think it's sweet when a woman makes the first move.
It is a good idea to ask him out when the two of you are in an environment where it feels comfortable and relaxed. For example, at a party or social event so that there's not too much pressure for either of you.
Here is a good idea to ask him out in a cute and playful way. First, ask him what his idea of the perfect date is. After he described it to you, say something like, "That sounds great. Let's make that happen right now!" If he likes you, he can't say no to that. After all, it was his idea, right?
Just remember that it's not the end of the world. There are plenty more fish in the sea! If a guy turns you down after you ask him out, then don't worry too much about it because rejection is just part of dating life. He may have just not been the right person for you. You can say something like this: "No problem, I'll see you around!"
Yes, it is absolutely fine to ask a guy out! The world has changed, and women have more power than ever. In the past, girls would always be asked out by guys, but times have changed, and now they are asking them out too. There is still some pressure from society about who has to make the first move, but women are standing up for themselves and asking guys out, too, more than ever.
There are some cases when you shouldn't ask a guy out, for example, if he has a girlfriend or wife. Or, if you have just broken up with someone, it is better to take some time and recover before you start dating again. Or, if he has made clear in the past that he doesn't want to date you, then don't be too persistent.
Related: How to tell a guy you like him
The answer to this is simple and complicated at the same time. It is simple in a way that it is tradition. It is how it has always been done. And since a lot of people have done it like that for thousands and thousands of years, it obviously means that yes, we should continue doing so. 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.'
But the truth is, this tradition is broken.
Actually, that's not accurate. It's not broken so much as medieval. It doesn't apply anymore in this day and age. And even though a lot of people still believe in this traditional gender role, that doesn't mean, and it shouldn't mean, that we should still do it.
However, our ancestors, grandparents, parents, aunties, and even the media, encourage us, ladies, to stay passive. We are told to sit still and look pretty and wait for the guys to notice us and ask us out. Like how they did it before. And how they show it in movies and such.
The media insidiously suggests that it is more romantic if the guy asks the lady out first. And when the roles get reversed, they say that the woman is too aggressive and that it is unattractive. And of course, since we don't want to be seen as unattractive, we behave and follow the unwritten rule.
Related: Guys who gave up on dating
This kind of thinking is outdated. It is the old way of doing things. It doesn't apply anymore in our day and age where we are all equals, women as well as men.
So if you have been thinking about it before, just do it! Be bold and be brave so that you don't have to regret it later.
Some guys believe that only they should make the first move. And these guys will not be open to a relationship with a bold woman who asks them out. They will find these girls off-putting. They are probably afraid of women who have brains and can use them to make decisions.
Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you
Now, some ladies may think that it would be better to stay passive, like a shy flower. That way she won't get rejected in that manner. But that is also not true. If no one approaches you to ask you out, even after hours, and days and weeks and months of sitting still and looking pretty, is that not also counted as some kind of rejection?
At least, the other way, you took control of the situation.
If he does say no, don't take the punch too hard in the gut. Sometimes, we ladies tend to overreact. Just remember, he's not rejecting us as a person, or as a friend. He's only rejecting us as a potential girlfriend. Which doesn't sound any better, but it is.
Think about it like this. Men have done this for thousands of years. Do you think they've never been rejected? Haven't you ever said no to anyone before? Did they drop dead when they got rejected? No. They felt bad, and then they moved on.
Just make sure you're emotionally ready for whatever happens. And also, try to not fall for cruel guys. I know, it can't be helped. Try anyway.
Wrapping it up
Now that you’ve read this article, it should be a little easier to make your move. Think about it like this, 'Yes, you want him and he may want you too'!
Dating can be scary but if there is someone out there who makes the butterflies come alive inside of you, then don't let fear hold you back from living life to its fullest potential. He might just say yes.
Don't wait for life to happen to you. Make life happen, and take charge! Be the captain of your ship.
And if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, there are plenty more fish in the sea!
Remember to try not to overthink things too much. Don't just bottle it up. Get that pint of ice cream and indulge in a crying jag. Plan your imaginary trip outside the country to avoid seeing your crush the next day. Whatever works.
If they reject your advances or don't want anything more than friendship with you, just remember that people are different and some will like what others won't.