Not liking a guy even though he does everything right and he looks perfectly okay in theory sometimes happens. And when it does, it can be confusing.
So why don't you like him?
It could be his physical appearance, personality, behavior, intelligence level, etc. He might be rude to you or doesn't respect you. Or maybe there isn't anything wrong with him at all! Maybe it's something else entirely that's related to you.
The answers can range from the simple to the complicated. Together, let's untangle your frustration and finally get to the core of the issue. So read on and find out why you don't like him despite his many good qualities.
He Doesn't Physically Attract You
Physical attraction is not something to make light of, especially when looking for a long term, committed relationship. No one falls in love with your personality at first sight. But there are also times when however much you want to like someone, you just can't. And this is in spite of their good looks and attractive physique.
When this happens, try not to panic. There's nothing wrong with you for not feeling anything for that guy. And even when everyone you know says differently, and you're the only one on the other side, try not to crack under stress. It just means you don't have any chemistry.
And it's not a sin to have no chemistry with someone. Perhaps it is because they give you sibling vibes or something equally innocent. You could be on the most romantic date with a guy like this, and you'll find your mind drifting off to the stove you probably didn't turn off.
There Is No Spark Between You
Physical attraction is one thing. But what if he's everything you want, personality-wise, but there's just nothing there? No spark, no electricity- nada. Even though he's kind, hard-working, adorable, and an all-around stand-up of a guy, you just can't feel anything but respect for him. Well, this is also possible. Highly frustrating, but possible.
So unless you're looking for a business partnership, a housemate, or perhaps a best friend, you don't have a chance of making it if there is no spark. Think about it like this, you'd need the spark to start the fire. Without the spark, what you have is just kindling. No matter how much you want the kindling to burn, it won't spontaneously combust with only the power of your will.
So even if he ticks all the boxes, if you don't feel any tingle or spark for the guy, you can just let him go. There's no point in forcing things. People in happy relationships say they both felt that magical spark from the beginning. It's not that you are a picky woman. It's just he is not the perfect guy you need.
You think you don't deserve good things like him
Some women think they don't deserve nice guys like him. They believe that they must settle for less than what they really want.
This insecurity is usually caused by past experiences of being mistreated by men who aren't worth your time. Or maybe they had bad luck with previous boyfriends. Whatever the reason may be, a woman in this situation can end up believing that she isn't worthy enough to attract such great people.
If you are thinking along those lines, then stop right now! He is with you because he likes you. Not because you are perfect. If you keep telling yourself that you are unworthy, you might as well stay single forever. So forget about being "worthy" and focus instead on becoming more confident.
He's Not Who He Appears To Be
There are times when a guy appears like he's all that and more, but we still get this tiny, niggling feeling that he's not what he looks like. Whenever we get hunches like this, we should listen to it. It's our woman's 6th sense telling us that some people are potentially dangerous to our peace of mind, and definitely not honest. Even a wonderful person can turn out to be a liar.
This is why no matter how much we want to like them, we can't. Our subconscious won't let us. Even when the guy doesn't do anything overtly offensive or particularly dishonest, we just can't help ourselves from waiting for the other shoe to drop.
We could be projecting, but it always pays to be safe. So if he creeps you out, and you constantly ask yourself why don't I like him, just walk away from the relationship, for your peace of mind, as much as his.
You Need Time To Heal Yourself
Perhaps it is because he treats you nicely that is the problem. Maybe you're not used to being treated like a lady, or you don't think you deserve to be treated decently. Coming from a toxic relationship where you were constantly belittled and abused, you may take time to heal yourself before getting into a strong relationship.
Since he's a genuinely good guy who treats everyone with respect and ladies (in particular) with chivalry, of course, you're turned off.
This is one of those cases where it's not the guy's fault. Issues like this don't just crop up without cause, either. Perhaps you're only a victim of your own experience and past relationship.
In any case, whenever this happens, the better the guy treats you, the more you want to run away. And no matter how much you want to like the guy (as he's obviously good for you), you just wouldn't be able to.
He could give you anything you want and everything you deserve, and you will still end up comparing him to this other guy who waved a million red flags when you were together. And the red flag bearer will obviously come out on top.
I Want To Like Him, But I Can't
Here's the real kicker- in situations like these, no matter how much you want to like him, you just can't. He could be the most romantic, handsome, chivalrous, and attractive person, and you will still have no reaction to his perfection.
Something just doesn't work right when you're together. There is no sizzle, let alone a spark. Whenever you are together, nothing clicks. You may feel that eating white bread and opening your fridge to check your supplies are more exciting.
But that's okay, you are not a crazy person. There is no use in getting frustrated. Frustration will get you nowhere. Forcing things will not make them so. You will only end up hurting one another eventually.
Maybe you could build a good friendship from this kind of experience. Especially if you both feel the same way.
If he somehow develops feelings for you, you could explain to him how things are on your end. Be careful with his heart, and try not to bruise it too much. He's a good guy, and neither of you is at fault.
If you want to give it a whirl, though, you can also do that. Just make sure that he knows what's up. Tell him everything instead of leaving him to figure things out on his own.
Chemistry is important in every romantic relationship, but so is mutual respect for each other. Try not to lose that while you're figuring things out, and you should be good.
I hope you got the answer to your question "Why don't I like him" and found some useful information here.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.