Love is unpredictable. It doesn't come to those who wait for it in breathless anticipation. It mostly comes to those who don't expect it. If you're one of those people who has longed for it for a long time, you're probably ready to call it quits.
But how does one stop looking for love?
It's actually not that hard. Instead of focusing all your energy on snagging a lifetime partner, try to focus on yourself first. Why don't you try loving yourself for once? Building self-esteem is one of the best things that you can do in this situation.
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Here are some in-depth insights on the many ways you can learn to love yourself and stop looking for love.
Sometimes, we get too caught up in the image that we want the world to see. Because of this, we fail to live our truth, and we're unable to look ourselves in the eye. This makes us forget our authentic selves.
If you live your life as your unfiltered self, however, it will make you appreciate your real selves more, as well as accept it. This will help you discover your true nature.
When you find love one day, your partner also deserves to know the real you instead of the polished version you present to the world.
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A big part of being yourself is learning how to open up. Being vulnerable in front of the people who matter to you can go a long way towards helping you gain your true self.
Open up about your thoughts, your fears, your loves, etc. This way, you can stop focusing on how to snap up a good lifetime partner and instead focus on being a good partner for yourself first. After all, people who know how to express themselves tend to be healthier and happier.
Lying has become one of the foundations of many relationships nowadays. They're usually not big lies- just little ones that barely get on anyone's radar. These small lies are usually uttered to impress potential partners.
Some of these could include saying that you're vegetarian even though you're the farthest from being one. You only said it because the other person claimed to be, and you wanted to impress them. You shouldn't. These lies fester. They don't make for a perfect foundation for a potential relationship.
Delete Your Dating Apps
You don't need to have those apps anymore. Remember that you want to stop looking for love. You can't succeed if you see potential "love" every time you go on Tinder. They will only serve as temptation. Unless you get rid of them, you won't have a chance.
Focus on yourself more. Don't give yourself time to miss your Tinder. Get a new hobby, and set your new priorities. It's time for some self-love.
Stop Fussing Over Your Appearance
Perfection is boring. It is also unattainable. So stop spending a couple of hours perfecting your eyebrow, putting a highlighter on your cheekbones, and dressing to the nines for your non-existent, potential partner.
While it is always important to keep yourself fit, healthy, and well-groomed, perfection is too tall an order. It will exhaust you, and it will eventually become toxic.
Instead, aim to be real. Sure, physical appearance is an important factor in attraction. However, it isn't the only one. It's more important to be real than to be perfect.
Spend Time With Yourself
Learn to love your own company. Spending time with yourself will help you develop self-love and engender self-discovery as well as independence. Learn how to be alone without feeling lonely. This is important for your future relationships.
Contrary to what people always say, you should never be totally dependent on another individual. You're partners, after all. You have individual selves, as well as separate lives. If you decide to share your lives, that's good. But not to the extent of being with each other all the time.
Don't Get Pressured
Don't go out unless you want to. It's high time for you to do things that you actually enjoy instead of forcing yourself to do something you hate. Don't get pressure or suckered into getting back on the wagon so early. You don't have to.
While it's true that you won't meet your potential husband while you're hiding in your apartment, it's also true that desperation is not attractive. Keep your cool. Love will come at the most unexpected time.
Related: Why do guys give up on dating
This is your time to work on a passion project or learn a new language. Do whatever it is you have been wanting to do for a long time. Keep yourself busy instead of anxious and depressed. Focus on self-improvement.
One way to improve yourself is to allow yourself to grow. Water your passion and make them bloom. When and if love finds you, they will find a well-rounded partner who is independent, as well as confident, and self-assured.
Wait For It
Wait for love to find you instead of looking for it. Hope for it, pray for it, and long for it, but don't go out in search of it. Good things come to those who wait.
Rather than spending all your time and energy finding someone, spend it on yourself instead. Love yourself, and allow yourself to grow. Spread your wings and fly. You can't really love someone if you don't love yourself. Plus, people who are confident and self-assured are far more attractive than insecure and desperate ones.
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Most people do. Love usually happens to the people who couldn't care less. These are usually the people who are independent and confident as well as strong, which makes them attractive. Their appeal challenges people. It's very effective.
You're probably thinking that your life will not start until you meet your "happily ever after". Perhaps you've lived with this misconception all your life. Or maybe you've heard all the usual questions about why you're still single, or unmarried, and such. You're probably feeling pressured.
Instead of focusing your energy on looking for a guy, use it to love yourself instead. Allow yourself some time for self-discovery and self-improvement. Stop actively thinking about guys. Instead, start thinking about you and what's good for you. Be a little selfish.
The only way to stop caring about finding love is to convince yourself that you need self-love more than romantic love. Tell yourself that you are more concerned about self-discovery and self-improvement, and stick to it.
Find a purpose. Don't make finding a partner your sole purpose in life. Make your life more meaningful by putting it ahead of everything else. You have to learn how to love yourself more than anyone else.