These days it's not unusual to date someone who lives at a certain distance from you. We have social media and modern dating apps to thank for that. The struggle of dating someone who lives an hour away (or more) from you will eventually hit you in the gut.
I'm pretty sure you're asking if you should even consider it a long-distance relationship. You may have even had other people telling you that you shouldn't think of it as an LDR. But hey, no one's judging you if you feel like a one-hour drive is too far away for you.
Hearing people say, "if you love him/her, then it shouldn't matter" can be cringey sometimes. Of course, IT MATTERS because staying in the relationship doesn't just depend on feelings alone. Sure, it's a major factor, but there are a LOT of things to consider too.
For starters, questions such as: Are you okay with dating someone an hour away? Would you be willing to travel for an hour just to see the person? How long is this setup going to last?
But before you can get to that, you have to weigh out the pros and cons of dating someone who lives an hour away from you.
Pros: For starters, maybe you're not fond of dating someone
who just lives down the road. You want someone who is at a considerable distance. If you prefer this, then the distance sure is a good thing.
The two of you can have each other's (huge) personal
space, and it lowers the chances of either of you getting too clingy with each other. It can also help you build a good foundation of trust in your partner.
Cons: Building trust can be challenging, especially at a
distance. Some people have a hard time trusting a person, especially if they don't see them regularly. Not being able to see the person you love when you want to can be so inconvenient.
If you're someone who prefers seeing your partner on a regular basis, then that setup won't really be good for you in the long run– that is unless you're willing to compromise.
Related: Guys fall in love when they miss you
Pros: Maybe you're used to driving or traveling a lot, and you naturally enjoy long drives down the road. Then surely, traveling for an hour just to meet with your partner won't be too taxing for you.
Cons: Traveling just to see the person can be such a hassle, especially if you rely on transit or public transportation just to get to places. Now, an hour's travel may not be that far. Still, it is understandable that it can be inconvenient for some, especially if their schedule doesn't allow it. This can both be physically and financially exhausting.
There will always be this question of who's traveling to who. The two of you might even end up counting the times you traveled the distance just to see the other person.
Meet-ups and Quick Dates
Cons: Let's face it. Dating someone who lives one/two/three hours away can be too demanding, especially when your relationship just began. You won't be able to have regular meet-ups compared to if the two of you are just living in close proximity.
Setting up dates can prove difficult, especially since the travel time is something to consider. In most instances, you might just resort to having virtual meet-ups, which isn't too bad. But of course, nothing can replace being face-to-face with your favorite person.
Pros: Having weekend meet-ups and dates can be something that works better for you and your partner's schedule. You may also end up planning more meaningful date plans compared to regular quick dates, since you seldom see each other in the entire week, and you want to make it special.
You are conditioned to make each moment together count more. If this works best for you and your partner, then surely this can help you build a better foundation for your relationship.
Related: 3 most important things in love
Tips to make the best out of dating someone who lives an hour away
- Have an open conversation about your expectations considering that you live an hour away from each other. It's always best to check first how you feel about your current setup, as well as your expectations, like how often you need to meet or who goes to who.
- Plan a compromise. If the two of you find yourselves in a spot over this matter, you should both agree to compromise for the sake of the relationship. If moving together or living closer is not among the options, you can always take turns in who travels the distance or get more creative at planning your weekly dates to make it more meaningful for both of you.
- Honestly and openly communicate with your partner every day. Living an hour away from each other means that you mostly rely on text messages or virtual communication to regularly check on the other person. Most couples who live far away from each other experience disagreements just because something isn't properly communicated.
Related: Wants and needs in a relationship
How far is too far for a relationship
It's clear that dating someone at a distance can have its pros and cons. We hear couples who live way farther distances from each other have their own fairy tale endings, and here's hoping you also get to have yours.
At the end of the day, the decision to make your relationship work is up to the both of you. Think of the person you love and the relationship you share with each other. If you think that the connection you share with her can survive the distance, then you should definitely put your best effort into making the relationship work.
If, however, dating someone who lives an hour away just makes you think of all the physical, emotional, and financial exhaustion, then you might as well just break it off. Neither of you wants to be in a relationship that brings more hardships than happiness, right?
Read next: How to lose feelings for a guy
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.