For some men, wearing a wedding ring means nothing. But how do you know if this guy is actually hitting on you or just being friendly?
Find out how to spot signs a married man is in love with you so you can act accordingly.
Telltale Signs a Married Man Is in Love with You
1. He compliments you a lot
When a married man compliments you often for your looks, attitude, dress sense, professional life, positive outlook, boundless energy, etc., it means that he is interested in you, and he's not shy about letting you know it.
These compliments might seem harmless in the beginning- something you can easily brush off. But if he really wants you, the compliments will become more and more direct, as well as often. This is because he wants you to notice him, and he does this by showering you with his attention and praise.
2. He talks to you all the time
A married man who wants you will want to talk to you all time- about anything. He would grasp on any topic, ranging from movies to politics, just to keep your conversation going and focus on him. He will probably be cheerful and pleasant all the time when initiating conversation with you. He will also let you know that talking with him makes his day better.
3. He makes an effort to see you
Even when he's busy, he will go out of his way to see you and talk to you. He will probably even accidentally bump into you in some of the places you're known to visit. There is no other reason he could be making this effort other than work. If you're not a coworker, and he still does this, you should know that he really wants you.
4. He acts differently around you
If you've known him for a while, you should be able to notice a difference in his behavior. This is one of the clear signs a married man is in love with you. Even though you know him to be a confident man, for example, you will notice him getting nervous and excited around you. Probably because he wants to make an impression, and they don't want to screw it up. He'll probably be anxious about your reaction to him as well.
5. He keeps tabs on your love life
He will constantly be interested in your love life too. He will probably want to find out anything he can about your dating history and current status. He will likely ask you if you're available or not. If you already have someone in your life, he will probably be jealous enough to talk negatively about that person.
6. He is complaining about his marriage
It can be one of the signs a married man is in love with you if he tells you about his married life. When he does, it is because he wants you to know how dissatisfied he is in his marriage. He could also want your sympathy and let you know that he is available despite his marriage.
He doesn't talk about his marriage
If he doesn't talk about his wife or married life at all, it is probably because he is overwhelmed with guilt about the whole thing. He could be trying his best to forget the fact that he's married just so he can be with you. He probably regrets being married.
7. He likes how you need him
Whenever you have a problem or difficulties, he will always go out of his way to help you out. He will also want to be by your side most of the time so that he can support you and help you as quickly as possible when you need it. This is because he likes how much you need him. You trigger his hero instinct, which makes him all the more attracted to you.
8. He tells you how compatible you are
It's one of the most straightforward signs a married man is in love with you if he tells you how much he likes you and how much you have in common with him. He could also bring up his wife in contrast and how little they have in common. He will also very likely try to get into the stuff you like to have another shared interest.
9. He makes jokes about liking you
If he does this, it means he really does like you, and he's not kidding. He's probably doing this to gauge your reaction to this possibility. If you seem like you're interested, he will definitely make a move. However, if you react badly, he can also just laugh it off and tell you how he's only joking.
10. His body language indicates his feelings
Since he's married, he's probably not going to be too verbal in his interest. This means that he will use his body language to tell you how much he wants you. This includes getting excited when you're near, leaning towards you when you talk, making intense eye contact and smiling at you, as well as brushing up against you and touching you. He also won't be able to help himself by looking for you in a crowd and asking your opinion about his wardrobe.
11. He's imitating your gestures
This is an unconscious imitation. He probably does this because he respects and admires you. You should be able to spot this whenever his energy level mirrors yours or he's speaking at a similar pace to you. Perhaps he's even starting to use similar words, slang, or even the same accent as yours. He could even be copying some of your mannerisms, like touching your hair or using your hands to gesture whenever you speak.
12. He gives his time to you
Even though his priority should be on his wife and family, he will carve out most of his time for you. He will probably give up his weekends and some weekdays for you. He will want to make sure that you're comfortable and happy whenever he does this. Even though he doesn't like to garden, he will get down on the dirt with you and help you weed the backyard.
13. He stays in contact with you regularly
He will probably want you to text or call him regularly. This is because he wants to get to know you better and let you know that he is a part of your life. He wants to know everything you're doing whenever you're not together. He finds you irresistible, and he will show you by sending you flowers, cakes, wines, and gifts. He will definitely go out of his way to make his presence known in your life.
14. He will listen to your opinions
He will listen to everything you have to say. He will give your opinions and wishes a priority. Whatever you say about marriage, cheating, and love, for example, he will take to heart. He will always try to be better and to rise above your estimation. Whenever he's in trouble, he will want to ask you for help or suggestions. This means that he wants you to know how important your voice is in your relationship.
15. He behaves like the perfect gentleman around you
Whenever you're around, he will act as the perfect gentleman. He will try his best to be charming, polite, and funny. He will basically try to impress you so that you'll see him as an interesting and unique person instead of a boring married man. So he'll put his best foot forward. This is also one of the clear signs a married man is in love with you.
16. You'll get a sense of his feelings
You'll have this gut feeling that he really wants you. You can keep fooling yourself by ignoring the feeling or convincing yourself that he's just being friendly, but it won't go away. Perhaps you're thinking about the possible complications a relationship with him will bring. In any case, you should accept the truth about his affection so that you can figure out what to do about it.
17. He wants to know about your plans for the future
He will probably ask you about your plans, especially if he's been hinting about leaving his wife for good. If you tell him you're planning on moving away, going abroad, or working in another city, he will be visibly crushed by your decision. He will also want to know whether or not he's a part of your future plans.
WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN A MARRIED MAN IS IN LOVE WITH ME
When a married man wants you, these are the things you should consider and all the different ways you can respond.
1. You can return his feelings
Dating a married man has a lot of potential challenges and complications. However, if you believe that he really loves you, that you can't live without him, and that he's completely worth all the trouble, then maybe you can choose to do this first option.
2. Let it go
Even if you feel something for him, if you don't think he's worth feeling guilty about for the rest of your life, you can do an Elsa and let your feelings go. Instead of dealing with a potentially complicated and dramatic situation, as well as a guilty conscience, you can let him go in favor of a better- and single- partner down the road.
3. Be straightforward and honest with him
If you notice him being overly solicitous and interested, tell him straight off that you are not interested in engaging in a relationship with a married man. Express your position clearly early on to stop him from flirting with you.
4. Focus on someone else
If you feel yourself beginning to fall for him- don't. Focus your attention on someone else instead- someone single and without baggage. You can try going through all the steps in getting over a break-up.
5. Look for flaws
Try to turn yourself off from him by listing down his flaws and by thinking about all the "cons" in taking it up with him. Focus on all the things you hate about him. Finally, realize that if he cheats on his wife, he will probably cheat on you in the future.
Related: Why do guys cheat
6. Cut him off
Prolonged contact with him is not healthy. If you have decided that you won't engage in a relationship with him, cut off all contact. Don't torture yourself or him further. Block him from your social media accounts your phone, and change your routine. This should give him a clear signal to back off.
7. Don't reply
Don't respond to his flirtations even though you find him completely charming. Keep it impersonal between the two of you. You can even try to turn him off by burping loudly or yawning while he's talking. That should put him off you.
8. Bring up his wife
Ask about his wife. Ask him to tell you where they met and if they have kids. You can even arrange to meet with his wife- if you know her- without telling her what's going on. It should make him nervous.
9. Don't ask for validation
You should know that you're worth it even without a married man's interest. You are beautiful, accomplished, and attractive. You should know even this without his interest. If you really want to be validated, look for it from friends, family, and single guys.
10. Make the right choice
List down the pros and cons of having a relationship with a married man. Consider all the reasons he could have for taking a liking to you. Know that however big and epic your love for each other is, it shouldn't justify all the pain you will cause his wife and family.
Related: Why am I the other woman
Whatever his reasons are for wanting you, make sure you think about the following before deciding to go for it:
- Getting in a relationship with a married man is like taking on a lot of drama and complications
- If you really love him, reciprocate the feelings but make sure you know what you're getting into
- If it makes you more than uncomfortable that he's married, make it clear to him from the beginning
- You are not obliged to return his love if you're not interested. Take a firm stand
WHY DOES A MARRIED MAN WANT ME?
It can be a bit confusing to suddenly find yourself as the object of love of a married man. If it happens, you will probably ask yourself a lot of questions, starting with the why and how. It's only natural to want to know. He's married, after all. How can this happen when he has a wife? Why does a married man want me, of all people?
HE SEARCHES FOR AN ESCAPE ROUTE
Men who suddenly find themselves attracted to the other woman are probably pressured and tired because of the sudden increase in the weight of their responsibilities. They end up searching for an escape route, which almost always ends up being another woman.
HE LOOKS FOR EMOTIONAL SATISFACTION
It could also be that they feel emotionally disconnected from their wives after some time has passed. This will make them want to look for emotional satisfaction elsewhere, so they end up in the arms of another woman.
YOU TRIGGER HIS HERO INSTINCT
Even if he's a married man, if you trigger his hero instinct and his wife doesn't, that's probably why he wants you despite his marriage. Men like to step up, provide, protect, and support the woman they care about. If his wife doesn't make him feel needed, and you do, then he'll probably choose to be with you even though he has a wife.
HE IS EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE
Another reason is perhaps when the marriage falls into a routine, and the wife fails to acknowledge the husband's efforts or give him love and attention. This will make him emotionally vulnerable. So when another woman shows them love and affection, something they've been starved with, they become helpless to it.
HE LIKES SEX TOO MUCH
It could also just be that some men are not satisfied sexually with their wives. They crave attention and satisfaction for their lust with another woman, or a lot of other women, for that matter, outside of their marriage.
HE CRAVES EXCITEMENT
Or perhaps he's craving excitement in his married life routine. Maybe he is the kind of guy who lives in the moment and doesn't care about the consequences of his cheating. Perhaps he wants something more for himself than what he is currently getting. He believes this to be a need that his wife cannot fulfill.
HE RESENTS HIS WIFE
Finally, he may be angry and frustrated with his wife for cheating on him and wants to get her back for it. Maybe he's feeling inferior because of her cheating, and doing it himself gives him a certain sense of power and control.
Related: Is My Boyfriend Cheating
Other reasons why a married man wants you
- You probably have some of the qualities that his wife doesn't have
- He thinks you're making him feel whole again
- He believes you're helping him have faith in love
- Your support during his rough times and phases was invaluable
- He is bored with his marriage, especially since the romance is gone
- He wants to be a completely different person from you
HOW TO KNOW WHEN A MARRIED MAN JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME
You will know when a married man just wants to have sex with you if he doesn't talk to you about his feelings and his marriage. He probably goes straight to the point, so to speak, whenever you hook up and then leave right after.
He also won't want to hang out with your friends or won't introduce you as a girlfriend to anyone. He won't want to discuss the future with you either. In fact, he will go out of his way to avoid talks about the future.
SHOULD I TELL HIS WIFE?
Now that you know most of the signs a married man is in love with you, you get to choose whether you tell his wife or not. There are many questions you need to answer and consider before you decide.
For one, if you do tell her, do you think she will believe you? You're a stranger, and if she never even suspected her husband of such behavior, then she probably won't believe you if you do tell him.
The other thing is: if she does believe you, what do you think her reaction will be? Chances are, she'll probably attack you or accuse you of seducing her husband. It would depend on her love for her husband, pride, and dependence.
On the other hand, if you don't tell her, can you live with yourself? You will probably feel guilty and uncomfortable about it for a long time. Even years after, you will probably think about it again and maybe even find yourself disappointed in yourself.
Then again, if you think about it, you should know that the cheating spouse has all the responsibility in coming clean.
However, you should also know that most of them don't want to admit their cheating and lying to their unknowing wives. Their ignorant wives will probably have to believe their husbands are loyal and faithful until the end.
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.