Sharing fantasies can be a healthy, pleasurable experience for any relationship. Being open to your partner about what excites you in the bedroom can enhance and make the bond between you stronger.
Cultivating fantasies within a relationship creates more trust and intimacy and more courage to talk about things that might otherwise embarrass you. Unfortunately, most couples don't talk about their intimate desires, which isn't necessarily bad.
However, exploring the idea of what pleases the two of you can open the door for more communication and closeness that might not otherwise be there.
If sharing imaginative details isn't your partner's cup of tea, receive it with gentle acceptance. There shouldn't be any reprimanding on either side.
On the flip side, if there is a fantasy that you would like to share, let your partner know, and if they're not into it, don't feel bad or get angry. Some people are embarrassed about these kinds of things.
On the other hand, if they are receptive to your thoughts, this could lead to a growing bond as you learn more about each other.
In relationships, we must learn to accept the idea that no opinion or thought is intrinsically disgusting or wrong but should be treated with love and acceptance.
The good thing is there really doesn't have to be any deep, soul-searching meaning behind it, but just plain enjoyment!
If you have a zany idea that will add spice to your bedroom romps, but your significant other isn't too keen on the idea, don't worry. With a little bit of patience and gradual coercion, you two will soon be performing Superman and Lois Lane skits.
Here are some tips for getting your lover to open up about dreams to keep the spark alive.
1. Don't Mention Your Past Moments
Many of us would prefer to be kept in the dark regarding our partner's intimate escapades. If you want your lover to be more open-minded, don't keep talking about how many people you slept with and what it was like.
It's pretty much a mood killer. Unless asked, try to steer clear of anything that might keep your kinship stagnant. It's OK to throw in some hints here and there. They might eventually get the message.
Slowly incorporate some new moves and toys. Who knows? They might actually like it more than you!
2. The Right Place at the Right Time
Try to carve out an appropriate time to talk to your mate about incorporating intimate innuendos and foreplay. It's best to mention it when the two of you are in bed, fooling around while at home, or even when taking a shower.
Another good time to talk about it is when an opportunity occurs, such as mentioning something that a friend said recently or strategically placing a magazine on the coffee table and faking like you just saw an article about relationships.
Being incognito while slyly planting the images in their mind will subconsciously have them wondering why they are even thinking of foreplay, to begin with.
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2. Turn it Into a Game
If you feel embarrassed about blurting out, "Want to talk about spicy things?", which would be awkward anyways, try this "Would You Rather?" game. It will lightheartedly get them to open up, simultaneously giving off hints about what they are into. Then you can incorporate these in the bedroom next time.
Or they might even get hot while playing the game, then the work is done. It's a great way for each of you to learn what the other likes. Any sort of playful game that allows for fun in a partnership is always ideal. Everyone loves the fun. It will also bring the two of you closer and more open to communicating.
If your partner suggests something you're totally not into or can't do, it's OK to speak your mind. It's not necessary to try to be a superhero in the bedroom. If it's not your idea of fun, tell them.
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He is more than likely OK with it. Just because they are into something doesn't mean that you have to hop on board. Instead, talk it out and find a compromise until you reach something you both will love.
4. Make a Confession
Just for the sake of it, speak your deepest darkest fantasy, then wait to see how they react to it. Don't go overboard, though. You don't want to scare them or have them think that you are sadistic or anything.
Something fun and light is ideal to start off with. Then they can tell you their deepest secret in return. This little scenario will inform the two of you of any boundaries and how far you are willing to go with each other. It also creates a sense of intimacy.
Exploring a secret that's only shared with each other will deepen the bond.
5. Constructive Criticism Helps
If they let you know that they are not happy with what you are doing in the bedroom, accept their criticisms. They aren't trying to hurt your feelings but are trying to make things better for both of you.
Instead of getting mad, turn it around and try to play out their suggestion. You might actually enjoy them. If their advice isn't working for you, then tell them. It's a lesson in communicating what's really on your mind.
Always remember to take any opinions with a grain of salt. It's only that-opinions. They still love you, so relax!
6. Talk Dirty to Each Other
Speaking dirty things to each other in the heat of the moment releases inhibitions and allows the both of you to discover each other intimately.
Explore the possibility of fulfilling each other's fantasies and unleash the burning desire for each other (as cliche as it sounds). You never know, before long, the both of you will be on your way to uncharted territory that will have your partner wanting more.
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7. Open Your Mind to New Possibilities
If you want to take your relationship to the next level, you must go for it. Being prudish isn't going to get you any closer to your goals. It's healthy and liberating to act on your true desires harmlessly. Not only will it make you feel even more desirable, but it will also increase your happiness in the union.
Speak about what you want. Your partner can't read minds, and you might as well hang up your handcuffs if you don't say anything to your significant other to better the situation. Understanding the value of what makes a relationship is one of the first steps to a happy future together.
Also read: QUESTIONS GIRLS ARE AFRAID TO ASK GUYS
Fantasies are fun and can fill up an otherwise dull moment. Although some won't admit it, everyone fantasizes. As long as they aren't harming anyone and if they are acting out lovingly, go ahead and let loose. Who's judging?
Do you have any opinions on this topic? What forms of communication have you used to engage your partner in acting out any fantasies you have? Do you think fulfilling fantasies is the only way to be closer to your partner? Let's hear what you think!
Nicole Graham is a relationship expert at Womenio.com. She is helping women grow into their best selves so they can be confident and bring more love, passion, and purpose to their lives. Nicole enjoys studying the psychology of love and is passionate about writing on them. She offers helpful tips and advice to help overcome any relationship issue, whether you’re single or already in a relationship.